Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hate The Soccer, Love The Fans

Are you watching the World Cup Soccer games or ignoring it completely, as I am? Ugh, how I dislike soccer. Reinforcing my "why I can't understand how anyone can enjoy watching soccer" mantra, is a new public opinion poll that may show how far from reasonable soccer fans can be. A recent pre world cup poll in Germany conducted by Reader's Digest found that 95% of those surveyed said they would prefer the German national team's winning the world cup to a night of good sex. We must be near the end of civilization.

I know most of the world adores "fubol" and everyone has the right to adore what he or she wants. But for me, soccer is a game of complete boredom. It's little men running about in short pants and kicking a ball back and forth, rarely ever attempting to challenge a scoring zone. The boring game itself is much ado about nothing. But the fans, I love those crazy fans with their odd and piercing horns (Vuvuzelas) blaring the sound of , "I am bored and must do something of interest in order to bear watching this mess".

How interesting are the fans? Try these few examples. Police say a South African man who wanted to watch a World Cup match instead of a religious program was beaten to death by his family in the northeastern part of the country. In Peru there have been more than 200 games that there have been people stabbed in or outside the stadiums. In Colombia, the fans hanged one the goalies for not blocking a penalty shot in one of the Colombian teams finals. How about a soccer game in which 39 people get killed (or getting killed themselves), as happened in 1985 when English fans rioted at a match in Brussels? Honduras once declared war on Guatemala because of a disputed play in a game between those two nations. And these few examples don't include the rowdy Skinhead English fans and their obnoxiously naughty practices.

Maybe soccer games are so boring they have to go over the top to endure it? Nothing in any other sport comes close to the depths of hell that a rabid soccer fan can live or place other fans in. I may hate the game itself, but enjoy observing the insane soccer fan, with his or her irrational love of a boring game, the nonsensical flag waving nationalism that is projected into world cup games, and his or her overzealous reactions to it. It's like seeing two drama queens battle it out in a boxing ring...too much fun to ignore. Just don't ask me to watch the insipid soccer game itself. In my view, as a sport, soccer is pure style over substance. The atmosphere around the game, particularly the crazed fans, far overshadows what is going on with players on the field of play.

Face it. A real sport, one worth watching for the game being played on the field of combat, would not bring about the side show that is the soccer fan. For me soccer is an "F" game with "A" fans.

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