Real Estate Jargon

Buying real estate is a curious and treacherous venture. But it's also interesting to just about everyone. Someone I know turned me on to a TV show on one of those specialized networks, this one called HTV, that deals with everything you would want ot know or not want to know about caring for houses. This includes such things as decorating, cooking, buying and selling and on and on.

Give that I am not a big fan of TV my interest in HTV is limited to the show I mentioned above. It's called House Hunters, and in it a person or couple looks at three houses (well, they look at many more, but the show just uses three of them because of time limitations) and, at the end of each 30 minute episode in which you are able to tour the houses with them and listen to their comments and the real estate sales people showing them, the buyer selects one of the three, makes an offer and in the end either buys it or rarely) fails.

It's quite informative too. Going though a house buying process from the outside, yet being in a close position to see it all makes the viewer more aware of what things to look for when buying a house. And, I also think it makes one more aware and beware of the jargon that real estate uses. If you think lawyers use double speak and esoteric language, listen to a real estate agent talk about a house for sale or read a real estate listing. An interpreter is needed. Just your luck though! I am now fully qualified (well...I watched a few episodes and read some listings..it's not a PHD but I learned a few things) to translate some of those vague and misleading real estate phrases that are thrown about when a person views or reads about a house for sale.

Here are some common phrases you might hear about a house and what I think they actually mean.
* "Park like grounds"- If you read or hear this one it means you better be prepared to buy a riding lawnmower or pay for a landscaping company because the yard is so bit it is going to be impossible for are for normally
* "Cute bungalow"- so small you need a can opener to get through the front door
* "Updated throughout"- the owners painted are rooms and raised the price as a result
* "Historically significant features"- old and in need of repairs
* "Handyman's special"- the house is close to being condemned and falling a part
* "Selling below appraisal"- the house is overpriced and over assessed as to value
* "Landscaped"- the is one or two trees on the grounds and some of the flowers in the flower bed may still be alive
* "Lushly landscaped"- three trees, though one is almost dead
* "Won't last long on the market"- because after two years of no offers the owner is about to give up and withdraw it for sale
* "Quiet, wooded setting"- so far away from civilization you will have to devote a full day just getting to a grocery store
*" Located near convenient transportation"- the free way is directly behind the back door
* "Quaint layout"- It was built without an architect and the rooms are all laid out inconveniently
* "Starter home"- cheap, run down or in an awful area* "Motivated seller"- desperate seller".

Are you ready to buy that new house yet