Cursing The Neighbors

Everybody is destined to have a bad neighbor or two. If you live long enough that loud, inconsiderate, rude neighbor will show up in your driveway or on your lawn. I suspect there is little one can do to change that kind of lout. But one woman in Rhode Island had a unique way of getting back at the kind of neighbor who drives his truck over your flower bed or changes the oil in his truck on your sidewalk. She is accused of training her cockatoo to cuss at her neighbors, thus violating an animal noise ordinance that covers human vulgarity but says nothing about birds cursing out obnoxious neighbors.

Lynne Taylor is accused of training the bird, Willy, to utter expletives at the hated next door neighbors, who just happen to be Lynne's ex-husband and his girlfriend. The neighbors, Kathleen Melker and Craig Fontaine, say they have been subjected to repeated curses from the bird, at one point for 15 minutes at a time. Katherine says cockatoo Willy calls her a "whore". Hmmm How does Kathleen know the bird is talking to her? I mean, if she weren't a whore she wouldn't.... never mind. But given that Kathleen is the lady who stole away Lynn's husband Craig, that bird Willy may be smarter than most humans.

And now the local court will have to determine if the bird's mouth is an extension of Lynn's. Until it does, the judge has issued a restraining order to keep the bird and Lynn separate from the neighbors she hates, which makes me wonder if the cursing bird also hurls profanity at it's teacher (Lynn). I wonder if that judge will make the bird testify at the trial. If so, it could be a dirty day in court for everyone.