Weird Guinness World Records

I probably need more hobbies to keep me busy because I wasted too much time looking up weird Guinness records. It started when I read a fellow in India has over 340 flag tattoos on his body to set the flag tattoo record. It didn't say why he did that, but he remarked that his wife and son are embarrassed to be seen with him. Hmmmm Maybe they are just not patriotic. The Indian guy is one of many Indians setting Guinness records. It seems it is a passion in that country these days.

This search for those famous Guinness world records brought for so many that I can't list them all for you. But here are a few of them that has me puzzled.

- Fastest 100-meter hurdles wearing swim fins, individual, female (A German woman ran the 100 in fins in 22.35 seconds proving that those Germans really are odd people)
- Most people dressed as Smurfs (1253 Irish smurfs did it. I am blue with envy!)
- Largest rubber band ball (An American rubber band excess...it's 4, 097 Kl. but there is no explanation as to why)
- Tightest frying pan roll (an American man hand rolled a 30 centimeter aluminum frying pan in 30 seconds, probably because he watches too many Superman movies where the hero beds steel))
- Largest collection of ‘Do Not Disturb’ hotel signs (A swiss woman "collected" 8,888 'Do Not Disturb 'signs from 189 countries. She probably doesn't want to be disturbed because police in each of those countries are looking for a sign thief)
- Most T-shirts worn at once (A Belgian guy has the record of 227. No truth to the rumor that he wears the without wearing any pants)
- Oldest table tennis player, female (An Aussie lady of 97 years of age has the record. Problem is it takes her 5 minutes to serve the ball)
- Most eggs crushed with head in one minute (An American crushed 80 eggs with his head in one minute. I refuse to tell you what he did with the bacon)
- Farthest squirting milk from eye (A Turkish man squirted milk from his eye a distance of 279.5 centimeters. He appears to suffer, not from a calcium deficiency, but rather from a calcium excess)
- Woman with the world's longest legs (A Russian woman has legs that are both sexy and measure 4 feet 4 inches, but she is still looking to date a Yao Ming sized man)
- The Most Nationalities in a Sauna (Multicultural Germans from 91 different countries got hot in a sauna there for the record)

So what's wrong with those people? Strange for me to question odd behavior, but it does come to mind. Why aren't they out there discovering a cure for cancer instead of getting intimate with Sauna exhibitionists from 91 countries. Oh, I think I just realized. It's more fun to be in a hot sauna with a hot babe from Denmark on one side and another luscious one from Japan on the other.

Being an exhibitionist can be fun. Guinness says it receives over 50,000 inquiries every year as to how to challenge a record. The Guinness web site even has an application form if you want to be the next extreme sauna bather or frying pan roller.

Fill out the application and present it to Guinness. They claim to notify you within 4 weeks if your specialty is acceptable. Uh.....I don't think they would approve of an entry that claims most times reading what I write and not suffering brain damage, is a category possibility.