What's In A Name

There is a city near Portland, very close in fact that is completely Boring. That's because the name of the city is Boring, Oregon. No kidding. It actually has nothing to do with how exciting the city is. Boring was named after a man with that last name.Boring was just named number one one of those magazine lists of the top 25 funniest US. town names. In fact, Boring is a beautiful city about 40 minutes from Portland and.... NO, I shouldn't go there because I fit in well with the town's name.

Today you get an expository tour some of those 25 towns and cities with crazy names. Pardon my puns and attempts to be clever along the way. If you get bored, blame it on the influence of Boring, Oregon. Since I will have to drive my automobile more than 2600 kilometers from New Orleans to my new home here in Happy Valley, Oregon (yes, that is the real name of the city suburb of Portland where I have my home) I might run into a few of the odd name places along the way. Surely, I will stop and stare if I do.

Given I am a foodie fan, I think that I should stop in a few of the food friendly named cities and towns along the way to Portland. Sandwich, Massachusetts is too far from my route, and a sandwich is a a pretty ordinary thing to be found everywhere. I can skip the sandwich and have soup instead.

What better place to start than The Bottle, Alabama? I wonder what is in the bottle...no alcohol for me when driving across country. Condemned Bar, California would be a safer stop for liquid refreshments. I can't get a DUI after being in Condemned Bar.

Lick Skillet, Tennessee might be worth a stop. Any place whose residents lick skillets has to have tasty food. For breakfast I should stop in Oatmeal, Texas. Pie Town, New Mexico is a can't miss for dessert. But I will avoid Greasy Spoon, Oklahoma at all cost.Why not have a look at Whynot, Mississippi and Why, Arizona? They probably have great philosophers in those towns since they have questioning names. Or I could see who is in Brilliant, Michigan. Sigh..My IQ is probably too low for me to be allowed in Brilliant.

I wonder who Handsome Eddy is. There is a Handsome Eddy, New York. That's too far off the route to investigate, as is Loveladies, New Jersey. Hmmmm I should fly to Loveladies one day. It's a town every man would enjoy. But Husband, Pennsylvania sounds like a town where the women beat their mates and lock them in the house.There is a town called Sweet Lips, Tennessee along the drive. I guess the founder was a kissing champ and never had a need to visit Lonelyville New York or Loafers Glory, North Carolina. He is too busy kissing the ladies for that.

I am not a self absorbed or ambitious man but How could I not take a peek at the towns of Wealthy, Texas and Fame West Virginia? And no one can pass straight through Do Stop, Kentucky You probably think I should not only stop, but stay permanently in Cranky Corner, Louisiana. Well, it's better than Hell, Michigan. No, instead, I will drive through Happyland, Oklahoma and stop at my final destination here in Happy Valley, Oregon.