Cheese Lover's Day

Every year Cheese Lover's Day is celebrated on one of those cold January days when people have nothing else to do, I guess. It is a day which is specially meant for the cheese lovers. You probably know some cheese lovers. They are just as snobbish as wine or coffee lovers and just as irrational about their cheese. Ask one of them if cheese is a healthy and they will swear cheese is a health food. Put a piece of cheese on your burger and that same cheese health nut will exclaim, "It's bad enough you gorge on burgers, but adding the cheese is too much".

Cheese is not a health food. It tastes good and like the mom who swills a bottle of wine before dinner but tells her 10 year old that he can't have ice cream because, "It's bad for you," cheese is a guilty please. So be it. People like it. The average American consumes about 31 pounds of cheese each year, but those snobby French cheese heads eat an average of 50 pounds. Given that there are more than 900 known cheeses in the world, who can blame them.

I could go on about this, but to show the influence of cheese on the world one need only think about all the expressions in language that involve cheese.  How about what we call a big shot, a "big cheese".  Big cheese cam about after American President Thomas Jefferson was given a huge wheel of Cheshire cheese in 1802, other dairies made and displayed huge wheels for publicity purposes. The cheeses attracted lots of attention, and so it wasn't much of a jump to referring to someone who attracted attention as a “big cheese.” I already know I am a "little cheese". No need to remind me.

Another expression derived from noble cheese is what we say when the photographer is about to snap a picture- "Say Cheese". They claim it makes the subject to be photographed more likely to smile. That's a whole lot better than the expression "chew the cheese', meaning to vomit. I wonder what would happen if the photographer said "chew the cheese' instead of just "cheese".

'Chalk and cheese" is not heard so often. It refers to two objects that, although appearing to be similar, are in fact different. Just like varieties of crumbly white cheese might at first glance resemble chalk, so for example, might two brothers who resemble each other also might have completely different personalities. They would be said to be as different as chalk and cheese. I have eaten some cheese that tastes like chalk, but that's a different story.

If you "cheese someone off", you make them angry, but if you "cut the cheese" you pass gas. "Crotch Cheese" is a nasty, smelly substance that accumulates around the genitals. Ugh! I am getting visions of that.  Anyway, I presume this shows that cheese is a versatile product. All three terms are better than being called a "cheese eater". If they call you that name they are calling you a rat.

Oh no! I just discovered that tomorrow is National Blonde Brownie Day.  Don't be a cheese head. You can have my cheese,  I'm leaving and will have a brownie.