Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Older Men Make Longer Living Children

Some good news for the oldies. Older dads and grandfathers may have longer living kids. That's according to a new study by researchers at Northwestern University, who found that children of  fathers in their late 30s to early 50 inherit longer telomeres, those bits of DNA at the end of chromosomes that affect aging and cell death. Typically, the longer your telomeres, the longer you live. Mine must be a mile long. I should get an electrified fence to keep the hot young babes away. Hmmmm Ok,  maybe that statement just proves that older men also hallucinate more. But the study I just cited  about babies with older dads is real. I'm not kidding about that. Though this doesn't imply that I am going to hang out in single bars and approach the young ladies with , "Hi, want to have a baby with me? I make better ones".

The study also says that the older your father's father was when your father was born, the more likely you are to have long telomeres. So the findings suggest being an older dad isn't all risk as we have been led to believe. What a turn around from other studies that say older parents produce more kids with genetic defects. This young generation believes that older people are less intelligent, less able to physically compete etc. We are often assigned with having but one saving grace, the idea that being older means more experienced.
"He may wear diapers and drool, but he knows a lot", those young whippersnappers can be heard to say.

I'll counter with, "And my sperm is better than yours too (as I soil my depends diapers and dribble all over myself)." Well, that might not be the most effective way to appeal to those hot young babes who want strong babies. We older men need to come up with some better lines and sell ourselves more (and stop wearing spandex...Yuk).  Maybe we should create some lines for the on-line dating sites that would make the sexy young babes chase after us. Microsoft did well with the slogan 'Intel Inside'. We older guys should wear a sign on our pants that says 'Better Babies Inside'.

On the other hand, I guess senility comes with being older too.............

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