Gobble Gobble

It's Thanksgiving time... There is an ugly turkey staring at you below. I think all turkeys are ugly, but that one is not even as good looking. And turkeys have an advantage over me. They change colors when they get excited. I wish I could do that. It would come in handy when I want a quick disguise or a instant Halloween costume.

Thanksgiving season may make me ruminate about turkeys today, but talking turkey is long overdo because not only do we eat the meat called turkey, but the word has infiltrated not only our stomachs but also our language. For instance, do you have a "turkey neck"? If you do you have a flesh wattle like our pictured turkey. I refuse to tell you to tighten your wattle, so you can relax. The old ballroom dance the “turkey trot” was named for the short, jerky steps that turkeys take. I guess no one under 75 years old still does the turkey trot.

I know you must have been called "a turkey" before. Because turkeys look lethargic, stupid, and having little appeal we call people with those characteristics "turkeys". Again I am not calling you a turkey, so don't act like one and think I am. Strange though, just as calling a person a turkey is an insult a play or movie that is terrible is called "a turkey". But you would want to get a "turkey" in bowling because it means you threw three straight strikes, a great thing. Anyone who is honest "talks turkey". That means they are all business and will not be deceptive.

I know you want me to go "cold turkey". That is, to shut up about the word. But I wonder how drug addicts got the phrase "he's going cold turkey" applied to their condition when they withdraw from addictive drugs. Perhaps it is because of the involuntary spasms an addict has that look like the jerking motions a turkey bird does when it moves step by step.

I guess have beaten the word turkey to death today. No doubt, as a result, you probably think I am "full of bull". Can there be a turkey that's "full of bull"? Let me look in the mirror to check....