Halloween Candy

Halloween brings visions of not only ghosts and goblins but chocolate candy bars, suckers, mallow creme pumpkins, ah, you know what I mean. All that candy that is supposed to go to kids but that disappears into the stomachs of adults as fast as ghosts in kid's room when the lights are turned on. Research shows that parents eat one candy bar of every two the child brings home After trick or treating. I know that I eat a good portion of what candy I buy (Rule 1 of trick or treat candy law is to always buy the candy YOU like for trick or treat so the leftovers can be better enjoyed by YOU) for the trick or treaters in the weeks before Halloween day's give-aways.

Since adults seem to have taken over the other aspects of Halloween, with their drunken costume contests in seedy bars and clubs, they might as well do the trick or treat thing too. It should become acceptable for adults to go trick or treating too. Maybe they could have a separate night where the adults go 'trick or drinking'. They go house to house and have a small drink with each candy they get from the giver. What a sight that would be for the little ones. Mom and dad suffering from both too much booze and too many chocolate bars. Hmmmm, bad idea, I guess. Maybe the adults should just continue to steal juniors candy from the trick or treat bag he brings back Halloween night.

But back to candy. I did some quick research on line and found out that about 5% of all candy consumed for the year occurs on Halloween and the week afterward. The most popular types are in order: chocolate, chewy candies and hard candy. I like them all. in fact I am wary of any adult who doesn't like to eat at least some Halloween candy (Rule 2 of trick or treat is to never trust any adult who won't let his or her son or daughter eat Halloween candy). Any adult who preaches that "candy is bad for you" or that " a nice apple is the best Halloween treat" should have their halloween license revoked. No wonder the crazy adults who give healthy treats instead of decadent and delicious Halloween candy have their houses egged or rolled in toilet paper (and I suspect some of the adults do the egging and rolling) on Halloween night.


They should love me Halloween night. I have plenty of candy goodies ready for the little ones, but alas! This is a new city and new house in a more isolated area and in a new city where it is colder on Halloween night (I should pray for rain to keep them all away from my candy). There will be fewer trick or treaters to eat my bounty of Milky Ways, 10,000 Grand Bars, Tootsie Rolls, Twix bars, bubble gum, old fashioned suckers, and chocolate monster bars (I like the nestle crunch style fingers best of that one).

Maybe I should wear a scary mask and scare away all those sugar addicted kids so I can eat it all myself?