Memories

I had one of those days for remembering the past. Mother's Day and the 20th anniversary of my father's death fell on the same day this year. It jogged my memory of my late parents, something that is good for the soul every so often. It's not good to live in the past, but remembering it on occasion helps us to see the present more clearly. It's a poor memory that only looks backward, for we should always learn from the past and apply those lessons to today, Having old memories and young hopes is the ideal.

What I find odd is the things we remember. I think we have no choice in the matter, but is it not strange that we often than not have a clearer memory of the incidental than of some significant event in our lives? Maybe those visions the trivial have some deeper significance of which we are not consciously aware. Why, for example, do I have a critical clear picture in my head of a big oak tree in the front yard of a childhood house? Yet, I can not remember names and faces of people who were important to me at the same time as I gazed on that oak tree. How and why does our subconscious select that which we remember? Try now to summon five of your oldest memories. I suspect a few will seem trivial.

Our memory is consistent though. We remember public events the same as private ones. Things that happen to people or places for which we are unconnected are remembered in the same way as personal ones. I remember my dad's death clearly because I was present with him when he died. But I remember the death of president Kennedy in 1963 because he was "with me" as president the day he was assassinated. My dad's death represented the loss of one I loved deeply and who loved me the same. Kennedy's death represented the loss of innocence in America for not only me but also for the rest of the nation. I loved my dad but had no feeling for Kennedy. Yet, the memories of those two losses are vivid even today.

It must be that out memories keep us stable, perhaps even sane. The terror of Alzheimer is the loss of memory. It makes us something less than fully human. Just as we must first put one foot in front of the other when taking a step, we must file our memories for recall when needed if we are to move forward in the present. Surely, our memories are what keeps us going mad in our old age. Getting old is not so bad as long as we have a few good memories to age with us. Without memories we wouldn't have roses in December or even a reason to continue to live.