White Elephant Christmas party

Have you ever been to a White Elephant Party? It's a Christmas thing, so anyone who lives where Christmas traditions rule knows about White Elephants (the party, not what you see on New Year's Eve after your 8th scotch and water!) So the White Elephant gift exchange is a popular Christmas event where people vie to walk away with the best present. Uh, make that the funniest one. The more outrageous the gift the better. In most of those parties, often held at work or where people know each other well, but don't celebrate Christmas together, everyone brings his or her gift.

The gifts are put in a pile, and eventually people gather, draw numbered and pick based on the number held. That means you don't get to give the guy you hate an ugly Christmas sweater. It's instead, random foolishness. The good news is that swapping is allowed. So, for instance, if you are French guy and you get a Rosey O'Donnell bar of soap, something no Frenchman ever uses, you can swap that for something someone else hates equally.

That's the general idea, though there are many variations and even many other names for the White Elephant gift exchange. Many include heavy does of alcohol. Funny gifts make the biggest splash at the party, and weird artwork, clothing and gadgets are also big. Once I saw someone give a sandals with white sox slipper gift, but the person drawing the gift was a girl and she quickly gave it to the biggest nerd in the group (also of French heritage, since the French frequently can be seen wearing white sox and sandals). The nerd loved it! But then I like ugly Christmas t shirts and sweaters. Give me  some respect for wearing those in public. (but I never wear that when there's a Hell's Angel nearby).

Do you have the idea of this White Elephant party? You may one day get invited or be summoned and must go. Just in case, here are some actual White Elephant gifts you can take with you. I know they will be DEpreciated.... The toilet bowl coffee mug, the People of Wal mart desk calendar, pick your nose cups, the high heel tape dispenser, a bacon candy bar, a butt/face soap bar (the white is for your face, the dark side is for your butt), the Fanny Bank farting coin drop, an electronic yodeling pickle, Dashboard Jesus....I think I am getting sacrilegious. If you get invited to a White Elephant just be yourself. You'll fit right in.....