Miss Universe 2013

I watched a little of the annual Miss Universe Pageant. It's because I accidentally stumbled on the broadcast while trying to find something, anything for that matter, to merit watching the idiot box. That's a hard thing to find.  I wound up watching the Miss Universe show because I am a male chauvinist pig who likes to see pretty ladies strut on stage like dogs. Sad to say, that makes me a typical male, I think.

Gabriela Isler of Venezuela,  beat out 85 other international beauties in the contest that was held this year in Moscow. Gabby is pretty, but I wonder.....Venezuela is in a contest with South Korea as the nation were the women do plastic surgery more often than in any other country. I wonder if Gabby is real or not. No matter, she is lovely and if her plastic surgeon remade her she will probably send a thank you note for an operating job well done. Miss Spain, Equador, Brazil and Philippines made up the rest of the top five. This must mean that the prettiest women this year come from Spanish speaking countries. I wonder if all the Russians were upset that their candidate didn't come close to even making it to the top ten.

I noticed the judges who selected the winner were not exactly experts on beauty.  They included a singer, a figure skater. a chef, a TV host and just one who seemed qualified, a super model named Anne V. In addition to strutting in a swimsuit and showing boobs and legs, the contestants displayed a "talent" in a performance and answered a serious question if they made it to the final round. Asking a beauty contestant what she thinks is the world's greatest challenge is like asking a 5 year old to be your financial planner. I heard two of those answers and had enough, leaving the contest at that point before I barfed onto the screen. The answers given were, uh, not memorable though somewhat comical I must attest. It confirms the idea that beauty contests should be exclusively about beauty and not include imagined talent or philosophical observations on the state of the world.

On the odd side, Jin Ye, Miss China, was dubbed the 'Angelina Jolie' of China. Ugh! No wonder she never made it to the top twenty.  The commentators also said that Miss Dominican Republic “helped deliver a baby when she was 17″ and Miss Switzerland “once pulled a drowning girl out of a pool. Gee, Maybe they got lost on their way and thought they were in the Superwoman contest. It proves that when entering a beauty contest it doesn't pay to be a super hero. Those two were trounced a by the contestants with better t and a's. After all, that's what wins beauty contests.

Winner Gabby of Venezuela in answering her question about what her greatest fear was said, “I believe we should overcome all of our fears and this in turn will make us all much stronger, and thusly, we can become stronger persons.”  Huh? With answers like that my greatest fear is my already weak brain may have been further damaged by watching that mess.  The things a man will do to eye sexy babes in bathing suits......