Well, another Mother's Day has passed. In the U.S. Mother's Day is the biggest sales day for restaurants, as children try to give mom the gift of not cooking for a day. But there are other gifts to give mom on her special day that are not quite so nice. Moms are hard to shop for because they always proclaim to not want anything from their children. After we become too old to just draw a picture and label it "I Love You Mom" we enter the years of indecision where we know that mom wants something for Mother's Day, despite her coy exclamation not to,and that we better find something appropriate or Mom will be unhappy.
What brought all of this up, given that my own mother has been deceased for many years, was an article I saw on line about some of the worst gifts to give mom. Allegedly, these are real and have been given by the child who was desperate to hand mom a present but just didn't know what mom wanted. So here we go with some gifts no mom could love for Mother's Day.
* vibrating sauna pants- these vibrating sauna pants can reach temperatures of 95-160 degrees, which will help mom sweat away the pounds. Huh But it also means you are telling mom she is fat and buying her a huge orange heated diaper to wear. Mom should give you up for adoption if you give her that as her present.
* watermelon luggage- No kidding, for $347.20 it will keep watermelon cool, or hot and make it easy to transport even the bulkiest watermelons. I think this gift idea is over the top even for the geek moms who likes crazy gadgets.
* Elfoid phone from Japan (where else)- When mom keeps bugging the kids with unrealistic moaning that she only wants "grandchildren for Mother's Day" give her this robot grandchild as a substitute. It features realistic-feeling skin, a camera that captures your emotions, and weird wriggling motions that make you feel like you are actually holding a grandchild and talking into its belly.
* POSTCN01- This is a snail mail alert system for Mom to use so she knows when to drag her old bones out to the mailbox for her mail. Never mind that mom doesn't even know how to turn on a computer. Uh, but I think mom may have a problem with the $50 a month fee for the service.
* Head Kenzan head massager- It's big bonnet that has 92 flexible bristles to massage mom's scalp, promote relaxation and hopefully stimulate her hair growth. It's, uh, basically a declaration to mom that her bald spot is growing and needs a fix.
* 'The Finger' ear and nose trimmer- If you give mom the finger-shaped nose and ear trimmer (it looks just like a finger) you are saying her hormones are so deteriorated she is beginning to resemble Osama bin Laden in facial appearance. This is not nice for mom, as you are "guying mom the finger" if you select this as her gift.
* The Elvis Robot- If your mom loved Elvis, you can bring him back to life in her living room with this Wow Alive animatronic robot. Robo Elvis tracks movement, makes occasional remarks, sings songs with realistic movements and recounts 37 monologues about his life. But if Elvis mad mom likes this robot too much you may be replaced by it, shot by mom and buried in Graceland cemetery.
Well, I think you have seen enough of the bad gifts to know whether any of your past Mom's day gifts can match them. By the way, what is the best and worst Mother's day gifts you gave your mom?
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