Not Much St. Patrick's Day In Portland

This is my first St. Patrick's Day holiday away from New Orleans. It's a different feel here in Portland because the Irish presence in this city is far less than in New Orleans. I like Portland, but the atmosphere is so much different than New Orleans. When I left New Orleans after Mardi Gras I read about two big St. Patrick Day parades in the city scheduled a few days after that I have seen quite a few times. There is no St. Patrick Day parade here in Portland, and if there was one it would be far too sedate for me. Where else in the world except New Orleans do the float riders in a St. Patrick's Day parade throw the ingredients for a full Irish dinner to the spectators? Nowhere, I suspect. And many of those Irish parade riders have imbibed enough alcohol to make tossing a cabbage a dangerous event for those not paying attention.

New Orleans also has St. Joseph's Day parade and Portland, like most cities in the U.S. not only hasn't one but doesn't know what St. Joseph's Day is. The New Orleans St. Joseph's Day parade is the three days after St. Patrick's Day. No, those Italian New Orleanians don't throw meat balls and spaghetti to the spectators. but the marching groups in the parade do kiss as many women along the route as they can reach.

I'm also not seeing any of the Italian fig and other special cookies that are pervasive in New Orleans this time of the year. Fig trees abound in New Orleans, thanks largely to the Sicilian Italian immigrants who brought their fig tree variety to New Orleans when they immigrated en masse in the 1800's. They seem to grow very well in New Orleans and figs are easy to find.

And there are no St. Joseph's food altars on display in Portland. To my knowledge, only New Orleans and New York City have those. Those altars are placed in both churches and homes for public display, with all the food donated the next day to nursing homes and charities. Each altar gets blessed by a priest and presided over by a statue of St. Joseph. A stalk of lily blossoms, votive candles and a lace tablecloth are typically used to decorate the feast table are filled with beautiful and often elaborate foods, including meatless dishes such as stuffed artichokes, pasta and fish, as well as breads, cookies, pastries, cakes and other delicacies all supposedly to show thanks to St. Joseph for having so much to eat all year. It's quite beautiful to see. I guess instead, here in Portland I can look at the billboards advertising pizza specials.

I wonder if they pinch in Portland on St. Patrick's Day if you forget to wear something green? They do that in New Orleans. I should wear that T shirt I have that says- "Don't Pinch Me, I'm Wearing Green Underwear". Any pretty lady is welcome to inspect my underwear if she doesn't believe me. Fat guys should forget even challenging whether I have green underwear.

My daughter doesn't like corned beef, cabbage, lamb, shepherd's pie, any of the traditional Irish dishes. I think I'll take a holiday from cooking an Irish dinner and just feed her take-out pizza this year. After all, St. Joseph was Italian. Does that qualify as a religious gesture?

'May your pockets be heavy-
Your heart be light
And may good luck pursue you,
Morning, noon and night.'

Happy St. Patrick's Day!