Odd Winter Olympic Events

The Winter Olympics are here and that means I have some (stupid) observations to write about. But first, I must say that I like the Winter Games more than the Summer Games. It's not because I know or like the events more. We have little or no snow here in New Orleans and no mountains, but I find more of theWinter Game events odd and curious. The Greeks invented the Olympic games and they supposedly held them in summer for summer style events that involve running, jumping and tests of strength. We all have seen how the Olympic Games have been altered with crazy events, but the Winter Games is composed of many more questionable events.

Take, for example, curling. What is that? It's bowling on ice with brooms....sigh. How is that a sport? They don't even break a sweat when they push the curling "thing" (a granite stone, I think) with their brooms. Is this really a skill event or is more luck involved? And what about that Freestyle Skiing competition?

It's the event where they do acrobatics in the air off skate boards. It's nothing but senseless danger on skis. One of the best of the freestylers was recently paralyzed when he fell on his head during a flip. In fact, all of them do that once in a while. I know it seems like I must be a free style skier, given my brain incapacity, but I swear in never fell on my head doing freestyle.

To determine the winner of freestyle they "judge" how pretty the jumps are in that event. How wimpy and unfair is that? It's similar to the phony judging in figure skating that killed that sport and turned it into a diva exhibition on ice. I can't understand freestyle skiing at all. Just look at the terminology of it. For instance, there are mogul, aerial and "new school" branches of it. A competitor may enter the half pipe, slope style, big air, and big mountain events. Any sport that is too complicated to understand is suspect. No wonder the people who watch freestyle skiing only watch to see them fall on their heads. This event is like race car driving. The fans just want to see blood.Another crazy Winter Olympic event is the Biathlon. That one combines the normal (cross country skiing) with the violent (shooting a rifle at targets). This is far too militaristic for me. The event actually came from Norwegian soldiers who were trained to be specialized assassins on snow. Why should the Olympics, which preaches love and peace, glorify shooting rifles? I say take their guns away and let them ski cross-country with flowers in their hands instead.

And then there are the sled events, particulalry odd is the "Skeleton". These events seem more about technology of the sled and aerodymnamics than about atheltic ability. One year a competitors almost 55 years old won the Olympic gold medal in one of these events. If you're 55 and win the gold, your event should be taken out of the games.

Next, they may put shuffle board and bingo in the Winter Olympics. They have about as much merit as some already in the Games. So why not? Wait! Shuffleboard and rifles...what a great event that would be. They could hold it on a cruise ship instead of in the snow, since most shuffleboard is played there anyway. Maybe the competitors could shuffle and then try to shoot the fat guys going for seconds in the cruise buffet lines. I would watch that!