Saturday, February 27, 2010

Shouldn't Have Killed Those Whales

New on the Global Warming Religion front today. That's right,'Global Warm Front', I peak not of the typical weather warm front we all know about. In the religion of global warming (well, we do have to take all the wild claims by global warmed advocates as based on faith, given there is no empirical evidence yet showing that humans cause a warmer climate) there is an ever increasing, often contradictory number of things that some claim are caused by "global warming".

The latest to make me smile is from a group of scientists (no doubt seeking attention and funding) at the Ocean Sciences meeting in Portland, US who claim..get ready for this one..who claim that the almost two centuries of whaling has caused the release of so much carbon earth temperatures have risen. Haha Whale induced global warming....it's an imaginative lame theory, for certain. Whales store carbon within their huge bodies and when they are killed, much of this carbon can be released. But if left to die naturally they take their carbon to the bottom of the ocean where it is stored. Ergo, those wacky members of the global warm religion deduce that global warming has been partly whale inspired.

Are you ready to put your whaling harpoons away? If so, how about giving me your reaction to some other "problems' "global warming" has caused here are a few of the things the Global warmers say are "caused by global warming": increase in agricultural land, decrease in agricultural land, more allergies, more air pressure, melting of the Alp ice cover, loss of the Amazon forest, arctic bog melting, more asthma, more avalanches, fewer avalanches, banana production increased, banana production destroyed, bird confusion, my confusion (I had to add that one, sorry), blizzards and snow increase, rising temperatures and more hurricanes, more brush fires, the re emergence of the bubonic plague, more cardiovascular disease, loss of the bees, caterpillar "confusion" (thank God I am not the only one confused!), vivil unrest, cloud increases, colder and warmer temperatures, coral reefs growing, coral reefs dying, dermatitis, desert advancing, desert retreating, desert life dying, destruction of the environment, diarrhea outbreaks (Yes I know I have long had diarrhea of the mouth but I never knew it was caused by global warming), disappearance of coastal cities, Dolomite mountains collapse, more diseases, drought, fewer ducks and geese, dust bowl in the U.S midwest, earlier spring and pollen season, Earth dying , Earth getting hotter, Earth wobbling or spinning out of control, Earth lopsided, Earth light dimming, Earth melting, Earth upside down, Earth about to explode, more erosion, Europe both colder and warmer (the Global warmers are still deciding which, I guess?), evolution accelerating (maybe I am the missing link?), extinction's of thousands of organisms, famine, better farming conditions, worse farming conditions, better fishing, worse fishing, floods, food poisoning, food price increases, decline of forests, growth of forests, frosts, fungi invasions, gene pool decreases, glacial decreases, glacial growth, death of the Great Barrier Reef, decline of the Great Lakes, greener north, Gulf Stream failure, loss of habitat, more hay fever, fertility in women reduced, human health decline, human health improvement, ice sheet growth, ice sheet shrinkage, islands disappear, invasion of midges, higher insurance premiums, itchier poison ivy, decline of krill, landslide increases, malaria epidemics, migrations of humans and animals, ocean acidification, ozone loss, ozone gain, personal carbon rationing, pest problems (not human pests like me...the animal kind), plankton gain, plankton loss, polar bears cannibalistic, polar bears starve or drown, psycho social disturbances (I am proof of it), more rain, less rain, salmonella problems, more sex changes (I have no idea why?), spider invasion of Scotland (they must like to bite below the kilt), tectonic plate movement, terrorism, tree decline, tree increases, wars over water..................

Ahhhhhhhh, after citing all that nonsense the whale news almost makes sense. Have a "cool" day.

Entitlement Mania

There are rumblings by some politicians that the time has come to revert the U.S. back to a free market capitalist nation. The age of entitlement is on us, and our self reliant days long gone. But the "government owes me" mentality has gotten so expensive it has threatened to bankrupt the county, and as a result, the same politicians who have been handing out money (in the form of credit, that is) to win votes, have suddenly started talking a fiscal responsibility game. But is is just for show?

I think the U.S. is at the crossroads economically between staying the wealthiest nation on earth or becoming a much poorer one. To remain economically sound the entitlement mentality must end. At this time 52 percent, up from 49 percent in 2000, of Americans receive significant handouts from government programs. To make matters worse, this year an estimated 50 million Americans (about 45% of the total eligible to pay taxes) will not pay any income taxes. This is up from 18 percent in 1980, and it reflects the lack of self reliance that has replaced the independence and self reliance that made the U.S. so prosperous.

Both Democrats and Republicans like to push tax exemptions for groups they see as their constituencies. They buy support and votes by handing out money as entitlements. The problem is made worse because those who receive the tax breaks almost universally believe they are just, while deductions for others are considered grossly unfair. Thus, "the government should take care of me" has become the mantra for all social and economic classes here. It's frighteningly similar to the socialist mess that Europe adopted after W.W. II and which
has crippled European so badly since. Americans need to re examine their priorities about entitlements.

If the percentage of those receiving income from government continues to increase along with the percentage of those exempt from taxation, fewer citizens will see any need to tax to pay for programs their government must pay for. Debt will continue to rise. The problem is the desire for more freebies from government keeps going up. What this country needs is for every person to pay some taxes, and for every entitlement program to be frozen reduced or eliminated until the U.S. is fiscally sound. But this is highly unlikely to happen.

According to the Heritage Foundation, about 1 in 5 Americans hold a government job or a job reliant on federal spending. Approximately the same number receives Social Security or a government pension. About 19 million get food stamps while another 2 million receive subsidized housing. Another 5 million get education grants there are limits on how much government can provide without impairing the economy. In 1950, only 28 percent of Americans received income from the government, but by 2040 it is projected to reach 60 percent! I think it not a reach to declare the U.S a socialist state.With the absence of taxes, deficit spending and debt, the ever expanding public payroll, I wondered if we are moving toward a day when children will be taken to visit an amazing curiosity, the Last Taxpayer.

Haha I hope it isn't me. Entitlements by far account for the majority of mandatory spending done by the government today. They are programs that require the government to pay benefits to people based on eligibility criteria established by law. There are over 200 entitlement programs, but only 21 of them consume 97% of all entitlement spending. Most of these are social welfare programs, which can fall into one of two categories, means tested and non means tested.
Means tested programs, such as Medicaid, Food Stamps, and family support programs, give out benefits to those "in need" (or alleged to be in need), to those who fall into a certain category of being of lower income. These programs comprise 20% of all entitlement spending. To receive benefits through non means tested programs you could be a billionaire or you could be homeless. Rich and poor alike get checks from the government through such programs as Social Security, Medicare, unemployment compensation, and retirement programs. These comprise 80% of federal entitlement spending, but seem impossible to cut because voters feel they are entitled to them and even demand unreasonable payments from them relative to what they have contributed in taxes or program payments.

Examples of some of the wasteful entitlements could fill a book the size of the great epic novel, War and Peace.
-The U.S. government will spend $2.6 million training Chinese prostitutes to drink more responsibly on the job.
-Health care fraud is estimated to cost taxpayers more than $60 billion annually
-It will spend $126 million in 2009 to enhance the Kennedy family in Massachusetts. Additionally, congress diverted $20 million from the 2010 defense budget to subsidize a new Edward M. Kennedy Institute.
-Fraud related to Hurricane Katrina spending is estimated to top $2 billion. From what I have seen here it could be even higher.
- Congress recently spent $2.4 billion on 10 new jets that the Pentagon insists it does not need and will not use because the military contractors are "entitled to it"
-The Conservation Reserve program pays farmers $2 billion annually not to farm their land. Farmers get rich on their entitlement to not farm.-A Department of Agriculture report concedes that much of the $2.5 billion in “stimulus” funding for broad band Internet will be wasted.

Those are just a few. Of course the biggest waste, excess in benefits is in the Medicare and social security programs. Those have become a treasure of votes for politicians who dare not be honest with recipients of those funds. They remind them of the great lie that they deserve far more in benefits than recipients earn in the small payments they made into those programs.

Unless the political structure is honest with voters and makes huge cuts in entitlements the U.S. is doomed to fall into insignificance in the decades ahead. Wanna bet if that happens? I think not.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Olympic Nationalism

You know what I hate about the Olympic games? It's the ritualistic nationalism, particularly waving the flag after a victory in an event. Is that necessary? I saw a Swiss skater who won an event in the Winter games grab the flag and start running around the skate track. Funny thing is she never unfurled the flag and looked ridiculous being unaware that her chauvinism wasn't totally showing. Isn't it a little irritating to wave the national banner at a sporting event that is pledged to be an attempt to unify the nations of the world. It's like spitting on the "losing nations". Winners should be humble in victory and let others wave banners for them, not promote oneself.

Ideally, I would like to see all country designations removed from the athletes clothes and name. Let them compete as individuals, being allowed to enter the Olympics based on performance during the previous year. Those with the best times/highest scores/best records, get to compete, regardless of national origin. This might remove some of the ugly nationalism that fuels so many conflicts today. Look at France! What a mess excessive the unfounded pride in itself has done to that nation. France has isolated itself largely because of the excessive nationalistic fervor. The Olympic Games reflects that kind of false pride.

Banning displays of nationalism at the games by participants would be a good idea. The fans will always show their enthusiasm with nationalistic displays, but athletes should not encourage that idea. Also, no national anthems should be played after an event. The underlying premise of international sporting events is to bring people together in a spirit of fair competition and good will. The Olympic flag interlaces five rings representing the five continents. Show that flag and play the Olympic anthem after an event, not the anthem of any individual nation.

Remember the "cold war" years when the Olympic medals were counted as if victories on battle fields. Nationalism from the Olympics help to fuel hatred and distrust among nations then. Much of the awful judging of the events that cheat so many athletes is the result of nationalistic fervor.
Judges score athletes from their own countries higher than other judges do, and they appear to vary their biases strategically in response to the stakes involved in what scores they give.

The scrutiny given the event, and the degree of subjectivity of the performance aspect being scored both have a big impact on how often judges cheat to satisfy the nationalism that permeates the Olympics. For example, figure skating judges appear to engage in vote trading and bloc judging that make that event more of a staged exhibition than a real athletic contest.

I say to the athletes, just put down your flags and compete as individuals.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Another Celebrity Apology

Sometimes I wonder if this is really the 'Computer Age'. It might better be identified as the 'Celebrity Apology Age' because all the bad boys and girls are apologizing to everyone, especially people not in their lives, those who by all rights should take no offense for a transgression committed against someone else.

Golfing great Tiger Woods is the latest to appear in front of the world and eat crow, admitting that he loves sex and cheated on his wife many times because of that wanderlust. But why does he have to apologize to everyone? Is it necessary for a celebrity to tell the world "I'm sorry" when committing a wrong against other people? How sincere is that kind of apology anyway? Is it merely for career purposes or is it a sincere apology? If Tiger and other Celebs must apologize in front of strangers, should we apologize to everyone in the neighborhood when we do something wrong? At what point is a celebrity more liable and treated differently from the rest of us.

I could understand Tiger making a public apology if he was using steroids and cheated in golf because those things would have injured the public, but he had sex with women other than his spouse. Isn't that a personal sin, one that should be contained within his family with apologies confined to family members?

Woods has lost a fortune because of the disgrace caused by his bad boy behavior. The sponsors have deserted him and his sorrow is more broad than that. He is also dealing with the worst consequence of all- the dissolution of his marriage and family. No doubt his financial advisers have pushed hard for Tiger to "say the right things" (that the public and commercial sponsors want to hear) in order to win back the fans and endorsement deals. We all know that's what happens when we watch a naughty celebrity apology. Just look at their darting eyes and gulping and see the insincerity drip from the mouths of the "sinners".

Perhaps the public likes to see the mighty fall and feels better when the hero squirms and grovels. Surely the media thinks so, as it pours word after salacious word about what Tiger did to those ladies or Lindsay Lohan and the rest have become into newspaper columns, video and near stalking-like news reports about the celebrity's every private matter that might yet not have been publicly exposed. Why can't we just let the celebrity be like us? Why can't the celebrity privately deal with his or her own personal problems?

Who is more pathetic? The apologetic celebrity or the press that hounds and pursues the celebrity who has committed personal transgressions? Tiger grovels to save face and win back financial rewards lost through being caught with his pants down, while the media does what it does best in this age of "entertain-news". It covers car wrecks and ignores real news. Tiger broke no laws in his affairs with willing ladies.

Shouldn't this be a matter that is solely between he and his family?

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Types Of Sports Fans

Watching the Winter Olympics on TV has again impelled me to observe not just the action on the fields of play, but also the fans watching the athletes. Yes, fan behavior is sometimes as interesting as some of the sports contests themselves. Take soccer, for example. Can anything be more dull than watching the aimless running about and kicking a ball in futility? "I keek zee ball"! But the dullness of soccer is for another day's discussion.

The fans at Olympic contests, with the exception of boxing and a few other more vigorous (violent) events, are docile in comparison to most fans at other events. The more violent games beget the more violent fans. You never see fans rioting at the Olympics, even when the best athletes are cheated by those nationalistic judges. The fact that the Olympic setting is supposed to be peaceful and loving prevents that. Too, the more affluent fans and best educated usually attend the Olympic Games, and those are not the rioting masses filed with beer that we see at soccer contests.

In contrast to the well behaved Olympic fans are the well informed but...uh...crude fans that can be found at many non olympic sports games. Those people know the game they are watching and let the players and coaches of the teams know it with boos when appropriate. They probably miss work often because they prefer to study their favorite teams. Take basketball as an example of the crude fan. Nearly every fan at a basketball game is loud, and thinks he or she can dunk and shoot 3 point shots better than Michael Jordan. I think parents of small kids should take ear muffs to basketball games in case they have to protect the little ones from rhetoric like "You're ------- bind, Ref!" Basketball fans shout that often when their favored team isn't doing well. But I never heard a fan curse at a figure skating event (though I will curse if forced to watch that mess).

There are also docile fans, some of whom are too quiet and, hence, turn an other wise interesting event into a dull one. Golf fans are that way. They don't even whisper when a player is hitting the golf ball. Why it is a hockey fan can scream at players who are executing their skills, but golf fans will be kicked off the golf course if they make noise when golfers are putting? Are golfers so sensitive that they can't bear normal enthusiasm from those watching them play?

Tennis fans are an altogether different breed....mostly a boring lot. They remind me of people who are constipated. They just don't seem to be having fun when watching. Yet they over-idealize their tennis favorites and give great importance to which player wins the contest. they are all style and no substance. Most tennis fans are more wealthy and privileged types. They set themselves apart from other sports fans and sometimes only watch tennis because those other crude sports don't measure up to the "gentleman's game" (Yes, it is called that).

And what about wrestling fans. The real wrestling, amateur style, as in the Olympic Games, is not choreographed and results not predetermined. Fan who watch amateur wrestling are well informed, enthusiastic and supporting of their favorites. I don't like wrestling, but I think wrestling fans are good fans. I appreciate their civility. As for "professional" wrestling, that great theatrical of steroid inflated thugs, it might have the worst fans of all. On close examination of the pseudo sport of pro wrestling I notice many of the fans have tattoos, no or few teeth, and due to a lack of basic educational skills a wholehearted belief that what they are watching is a real sport with real results.

I always worry about the future of the human race when I see wresting fans at the arenas. If any of those alien spaceman ever come to earth to take a human specimen I hope they grab a pro wrestling fan. It will baffle even their superior brain power and technology when they try to decode what they have kidnapped. This may make them decide that we humans are best left alone and of little worth, much less worth conquering and enslaving. Yep! A typical wrestling fan, kidnaped by aliens and examined might be prove the savior of humanity.

I hope you take my fan comments for what they are worth when watching your favorite sport. Yep, my remarks are worth nothing. Just enjoy your game and forget the stupidity I wrote.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Mardi Gras Costumes

There is nothing better than donning a costume on Mardi Gras day and heading into the French Quarter are of New Orleans. The sights one sees stir the imagination, tickle the funny bone, and elicit more than a few wows. I think New Orleanians are pros at costuming and public partying. They are either clever in their outfits or imaginative, few where store-bought costumes and even fewer are shy about what they pretend to be on Mardi Gras day. Disputes and trouble on Mardi Gras day are the rare exception, not the rule. Fun is the operative word.

My costume ritual the past 15 years to so has been to wear a satirical one (this year it was a "Crooked Louisiana Politician" theme) and head into the Quarter early (parking in the area is hard to find after 8 am) to beat the 1 million or so who are on the streets Mardi Gras day. This ritual started long ago at the urging of a friend, now deceased, who also loved to photo the sights there and urged me to go with him one year. I haven't stopped going since. Most often I have brought a video camera , but this year my camera is not available. I used a still camera instead. Cameras tend to lighten the already light and fun loving mood in the Quarter Mardi Gras morning. They are like the a favorite dessert one is offered. They disarm and enchant.

There is something about costuming that both bind the wearer more strongly to fellow costumed celebrator and also to the non costumed voyeurs who walk about gawking at what they see. It's hard to not feel good about someone who is in costume. This year I even got a sexy proposition from one lady who thought my prison outfit was cute. The lady, also in costume, must have already been vodka filled when she grabbed me by the arm and uttered that she wouldn't mind being naughty with me. When one dresses in character for Mardi Gras he or she is a participant, not merely a spectator. Those who have never costumed can not quite understand the concept. It's sad what they miss.

The costumes this year were tamer than usual, given the colder temperatures we had for Mardi Gras day. On warm days sexy costumes are frequently spotted, but when the temperature starts at a little above freezing and stays cold most of the day those who will costume switch to "my winter costume". Veterans of the costume parade usually have a "summer costume" and a "winter costume" as a backup for unusually cold Mardi Gras days that was this Mardi Gras day. This is not to say that the fleshy types won't shed some or most of their winter wear later in the afternoon when the liquor makes the temperature irrelevant.

I didn't see either the tacit or blatant sexy outfits as much this year. Layered costumes and beautiful feathers and fur were more often the replacements for uncovered skin. There were also more humorous/clever costumes, and to my bewilderment, many more costumes I am still trying to decipher. It appeared those hard to define modes were the result of being quickly thrown together to beat the colder than normal temperature of Mardi Gras day. My satirical costume was a hit with quite a few locals and tourists, who stopped me frequently to pose or pose with them for photos and comment that their home city has corrupt politics too.

The most amusing satirical outfit I saw was the "Tiger Woods and Mistress" group. Tiger was there with facial injuries and a golf club embedded in his head from the beating wife Elin gave him after she discovered his cuckolding manner. The Woods' mistresses were less than gorgeous, blonde wigged, men in drag who sang a clever ditty about why a man shouldn't cheat and what happened to Tiger as a result of his naughty ways. It was funny and worthy of a comedy act on network TV. There were allot of men in drag this year, most of them hairy, bearded and un feminine in keeping with a good natured and humorous theme that Mardi Gras day was and usually is. The transsexual beauties who are so often seen barely clothed and prettier than most naturally born women, must have been discouraged by the cold. It is a pity.

Dirtiest costume (loved it though) was that of a very pretty lady and her man dressed....in minimum wear as she showed off her two best assets...her lovely breasts. The boobs were uncovered but painted with a simulated tattoo to avoid arrest for indecent exposure by police who roam the Quarter in case too much liquor takes hold on anyone and produces unruly behavior . Yes, the crowd of cameras around the lady was never ending, like school boys attending their first peep show. The gentleman accompanying her seemed embarrassed but she loved it. Runner up was the equally beautiful Dominatrix who wielded a pair of whips and posed menacingly for the men who drooled as she strutted.

The prettiest costumes were the many with gigantic feathered headpieces or rhinestones gowns that usually take month to construct and can cost as much as $10,000 each. The gay community here has always done that best. There were too many of those to select one favorite, but they are the costumes that bring the most wows from the crowd. This year we had many more locals on the streets, some say as many as before Hurricane Katrina in 2005. But quite a few tourists, some from other countries like Italy, Belgium, Slovakia and France asked to photograph me in costume. The locals know what to expect on Mardi Gras day....fun..and are less out of control than the tourists. Many of the tourists are vow to return, and that their French Quarter Mardi Gras experience was the most unusual and fun one they have had.

As we say here, yesterday we had Mardi Gras, and you just had Tuesday.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Happy Lundi Gras

Happy Lundi Gras! Right, I wrote "Lundi Gras", not Mardi Gras. The day before Mardi Gras is Lundi Gras, a largely unknown event outside of New Orleans. It's the err..mild warm up to hot Mardi Gras day, sort of like a baseball pitcher warming up in the bullpen before pitching. I shall mention a few things about Lundi Gras today.

It is a day of symbolism, capped off with the kings of the two biggest Mardi Gras day parades. Rex, the king of Carnival arrives on the river by boat and meets with the King of Zulu. They are greeted by the mayor of New Orleans who reads a proclamation. It becomes official that Rex rules over New Orleans for the next day and everyone is ordered to have fun. It's quite a ceremony with jazz , foods, dancing etc. Lundi Gras live music concert stages are set up on the Mississippi river in the Riverwalk and fireworks are shoot that night. Everything except the food is free to the public.

In my suburban parish we also have a similar Lundi Gras event along the Mississippi River and a huge parade here that night as well. These events are historic in the late 1800's but evaporated and were re started in the 1970's in order to liven up what had become a dull day before Mardi Gras. By Lundi Gras the city is also overflowing with people and the French Quarter area has been a mob scene every night for several nights before Lundi Gras.
Quite a few maskers show off their costumes on Lundi Gras. It reminds tourists to bring their cameras Mardi Gras day when costumes are more widely worn.

For me costuming is the best part of Carnival. It not only is great to look at but costumes give energy and enthusiasm to carnival. They are the WOW factor to Mardi Gras and add emotional appeal such as humor to Mardi Gras. Without masking and costumes Mardi Gras is just another big crowd of people milling about. I think the costumes are what most people most remember about the festivities.

Happy Lundi Gras!

On The Parade Route

Happy Mardi Gras! Today is the day....I went to a Mardi Gras parade in New Orleans Monday, The Krewe of Proteus, and it wasn't merely the floats, bands, marching units, flambeaux carriers and the rest of what composes a spectacular night Mardi Gras parade here that I noticed. No, I noticed a whole lot more. It has to do with where I saw the parade, Harmony Street and St. Charles Avenue, a prime location on one of the loveliest streets I know. You see, that location was where, in my childhood, my family used to set up to spend Mardi Gras day so long ago.

We had friends who owned a huge house on Harmony (a fitting name for a street in the city of music), just steps from St. Charles Avenue. Each Mardi Gras morning our family would load the station wagon and head to that house where other families we knew also set up their Mardi Gras day feats and provisions in the very large parking area on the grounds of the house. The gigantic old live oaks on St. Charles, some almost 200 years old, still tower the avenue giving it a distinctive, comforting look and feel.

As I stood on the parade ground and waited for Proteus to arrive, I noticed some changes in the environment. Gone were quite a few beautiful old 19th century mansions, replaced by big, modern, condominiums that, though new, make the avenue look less glamorous than I remembered from my boyhood Mardi Gras' there. And the whole street setting was smaller than in my youth. Or do we always remember childhood experiences as bigger than life.

I closed my eyes and imagined I was a child again and that it was Mardi Gras day. But a man with a Mardi Gras bead suit (he actually made a beautiful suit coat entirely with beads and Mardi Gras doubloons for buttons) attracted so much attention from camera laden tourists that I awoke from my flashback and scanned the people to see what else was different. The presence of the ubiquitous cell phone and other electronic gadgets was one change I noticed, and for the worse. I saw people of all ages engaged with their technology and pitied them for devoting time to that when they were about to see a wonderful parade. I wanted those ingrates, those impostors, to leave.

In my childhood time the parade was the main show on St. Charles. And yet now some of those electronic gadget addicts were so unappreciative of this free show they continued to chatter away on their phones even as the parade passed by.

Just before the lead units of the parade arrived I heard a young couple speaking in what I thought was "British" English. I spoke to them and found that it was. They were from London, and had been in the city for four days, according to the more animated wife. We discussed the city and things for them to do while here. I was pleased that both loved the city and the people remarking as most tourists do that people in New Orleans are open, tolerant, friendly and seem to enjoy themselves more than most. They raved about our food and music. This accidental meeting with the pair gave me a better feeling than I had when trying to compare St. Charles Avenue now to then (my childhood).

Most Mardi Gras parade crowds are a happy and friendly lot. This one was especially so. Kids played games, adults chatted , everyone laughed and shared. More than one gentleman handed dollar bills to the flambeaux carriers in the parade as they passed by. Flambeauxs are an old tradition that few Mardi Gras parade krewes retain because of the danger of fire (an insurance cost). But in my childhood when the flambeaux was the only way floats were lighted, the parade watchers would sometimes toss coins into the street as the flambeaux carriers would break out in spontaneous dance and twirl their sticks of fire that help lit the floats. Again, because of safety concerns police and krewes no longer allow the flambeaux carriers to dive for money tossed to them. So people have stopped that coin toss tradition. Handing them the money seems a nice way of rewarding them for the show they put on with their fire sticks.

And I was touched at the remark one of the gallantly dressed Dukes on horseback uttered to me and a few near me.."Thanks for coming to the parade", he said. Isn't it we who should thank the krewe for paying for and presenting this enchanting fantasy every winter? No doubt he meant something to the effect that he was thankful that the Proteus parade organization was still able to carry on the carnival tradition , even though membership was decimated by the hurricane of 2005.

And by the way, the parade was beautiful, even more so than when I saw that same parade the night before Mardi Gras on St. Charles and Harmony long ago as a child.

Some things can be better than we remembered them to be.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Recipes

I love the idea of finding recipes on line It is especially handy for is cooking recipes. One can find the good, bad, and ugly recipe on the net almost instantly. In fact, many of the cookbooks that we all use have some of their recipes posted on web sites throughout the internet. You might think the internet recipe search would make the cookbook obsolete, but it will never happen. People like to hold on to and display their cookbooks too much for that to occur.

Whenever I want to cook something and am not sure of an ingredient or to, or when I want to combine recipes or find an alternative way or ingredient I do search for recipes. The Food Network web site is a good one, as is allrecipes.com and many of the local Louisiana cooking web sites (I cook a great deal of New Orleans and Cajun/Creole dishes).

But there are some weird recipes on line that can discourage a cook from even going near the stove. Something like "Grilled Lamb Chops with Curried Couscous and Zucchini Raita". I think any self respecting zucchini would be embarrassed to have "raita" associated it. The more fancy words and the longer the name of the recipe or its ingredient list, the less likely it is to taste good. It's style over substance. You can bet that grilled lamb recipe will tell you to use "Greek Yogurt' or some obscure ingredient you don't have in the house and don't feel like searching the city to find.

Chefs and cookbook authors have to come up with new gimmicks to keep the interest of the people who buy their products. That's probably one reason they have weird food combinations in their recipes or weird recipes, something like 'Tofu Chocolate Fudge'. It's an insult to chocolate eaters to associate with tofu. they should feed the prisoners that dish, not the rest of us.
You can bet if the recipe they give has a picture of it that it will look better than it tastes. The pictures the photographer takes after the dish has been doctored or simulated looks unlike anything most people could cook. It always looks too good to be true. Ignore recipe photos and look at the ingredients when deciding whether to cook it. And if you see 25 recipes with one unusual ingredient posted, squash for instance, you can bet the web site is sponsored by a squash seller.

On reflection, maybe it's better to forget all those recipe web sites and just cook what mom and grandma did.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

So Many Cookbooks

Do you notice how big the cookbook section of a bookstore is when you go to buy books? I think there may be as many cook books for sale as any other type of book sold. Surely, most homes have many cook books, even those that have non readers or non cooks living in them. Almost everybody buys, collects and finds them interesting. We sometimes even display them as a group in the kitchen on their own bookshelves. One thing we most often do not do is use them. There might be one or a few recipes we like in a particular cookbook, but the rest are paid little attention to, because it's impossible to cook all the recipes in a cook book and most people cook the same things over and over anyway.

There are many kinds of cook books. The most famous in America is probably "The Joy of Cooking" or the "James Beard Cook Book". They are extensive, usable and practical. Any skilled home cook in the U.S. has one or both of those two. One type of cookbook in the U.S. is the glitzy, expensive, coffee table cook book we never use but like to display and admire. Most of the recipes are too elaborate or unappealing for the home cook, but the coffee table cookbook appeals to the visual appetite, not the stomach.

How about those regional cook books? I have seen enough of "Cooking Greek" or "the Wok Cook Book" to know that genre only turns my stomach, not fills it. There are some good regional cook books though. It's the local ones that appeal to the skills and tastes of the local inhabitants that we buy and use often. "Down in the Parish", for example, is a cook book from St. Bernard Parish next to me...the same one in which every home there was submerged in the waters of Hurricane Katrina, is a treasure of great local recipes that are done right.

Another kind of cook book is the celebrity cookbook. Those famous people or famed TV chefs put out cook books mostly because they a make money. people translate their like of the celebrity to a like and purchase of the cook book. They rarely cook any recipes in them. I find little of anything of value in any of them and own none of those. They are printed only to cash in on the name of the author.

I am not sure how many cook books I have, but it has to be at least 50. Thrift stores have a trove of them for sale every day for a dollar or two each. Included in the cache' of cookbooks at those Goodwill stores are local cook books that compose another type, the special interest cookbook. In those stores one can find things like "Cooking with Chocolate" or "Breads" or one of the kinds of cook books that I most like, the institutional cook book.

One of the best institutional cook books I have is a book first published in the early 60's by my electric company, The Energy Cook Book. That one is huge and has about every New Orleans recipe one would want to cook, in the style the home cook uses when turning on the oven or range top. I use it often. Then there are the wacky regional cookbooks that inhabit those thrift stores and book stores alike. How about the " Prince of peace Lutheran Church Family Cook Book" or the "The Bayou Knights of Columbus Cook Book" as examples. No doubt the school, church or other group or institution publishes those as a fund raising and unifying tactic (members feel more a part of the organization when their recipes are published in its cook book). The person who would buy that kind of cook book might do so because he or she noticed one or two good recipes when perusing the book, or buy it because Aunt Edna is a contributing member and expects all her relatives to buy it (or be cut out of the will).

There are many other kinds of cook books out there, but I better stop writing about the subject before I upset your stomach and make eating tonight unappealing...and I wanted to mention more about the recipes inside the books too. I save that subject for another day.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Odd Winter Olympic Events

The Winter Olympics are here and that means I have some (stupid) observations to write about. But first, I must say that I like the Winter Games more than the Summer Games. It's not because I know or like the events more. We have little or no snow here in New Orleans and no mountains, but I find more of theWinter Game events odd and curious. The Greeks invented the Olympic games and they supposedly held them in summer for summer style events that involve running, jumping and tests of strength. We all have seen how the Olympic Games have been altered with crazy events, but the Winter Games is composed of many more questionable events.

Take, for example, curling. What is that? It's bowling on ice with brooms....sigh. How is that a sport? They don't even break a sweat when they push the curling "thing" (a granite stone, I think) with their brooms. Is this really a skill event or is more luck involved? And what about that Freestyle Skiing competition?

It's the event where they do acrobatics in the air off skate boards. It's nothing but senseless danger on skis. One of the best of the freestylers was recently paralyzed when he fell on his head during a flip. In fact, all of them do that once in a while. I know it seems like I must be a free style skier, given my brain incapacity, but I swear in never fell on my head doing freestyle.

To determine the winner of freestyle they "judge" how pretty the jumps are in that event. How wimpy and unfair is that? It's similar to the phony judging in figure skating that killed that sport and turned it into a diva exhibition on ice. I can't understand freestyle skiing at all. Just look at the terminology of it. For instance, there are mogul, aerial and "new school" branches of it. A competitor may enter the half pipe, slope style, big air, and big mountain events. Any sport that is too complicated to understand is suspect. No wonder the people who watch freestyle skiing only watch to see them fall on their heads. This event is like race car driving. The fans just want to see blood.Another crazy Winter Olympic event is the Biathlon. That one combines the normal (cross country skiing) with the violent (shooting a rifle at targets). This is far too militaristic for me. The event actually came from Norwegian soldiers who were trained to be specialized assassins on snow. Why should the Olympics, which preaches love and peace, glorify shooting rifles? I say take their guns away and let them ski cross-country with flowers in their hands instead.

And then there are the sled events, particulalry odd is the "Skeleton". These events seem more about technology of the sled and aerodymnamics than about atheltic ability. One year a competitors almost 55 years old won the Olympic gold medal in one of these events. If you're 55 and win the gold, your event should be taken out of the games.

Next, they may put shuffle board and bingo in the Winter Olympics. They have about as much merit as some already in the Games. So why not? Wait! Shuffleboard and rifles...what a great event that would be. They could hold it on a cruise ship instead of in the snow, since most shuffleboard is played there anyway. Maybe the competitors could shuffle and then try to shoot the fat guys going for seconds in the cruise buffet lines. I would watch that!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Valentine's Day Cards

Just today I was thinking about all those Valentine's day cards and gifts we are encouraged to give out every year. What is that all about? Do we have to have one designated day in which to express love to others? It seems artificial to me, and after perusing the Valentine's day cards at stores (no I have no Valentine to give or no one to give it to, but the stacks of cards were curious and I had to see what it is about this year, so I looked at them) and on line I am convinced it is more folly than fare.

I remember when my daughter Jane was small. We had to find those kid valentine's that the little boys and girls give out to every other kid in class. One year we sent out Spongebob Valentines to her 4th grade schoolmates. We attached a candy cane or a box of Sweetheart candy to each. That was easy. How are grown-ups are supposed to know who to give valentine's to. I'll never know. Some women are offended or embarrassed by them and others expect them practically every day. We men only get them about 1/4 of the time that women do, but we probably deserve a valentine even less because we drive women crazy.

Valentine's day is a wholly commercial creation, and the cards you can buy to snail or E mail are proof of that. They appeal to just about every possible relationship known to humans. There are cards for singles, spouses, parents, kids,. friends, gays, straights, for people who seek sex (those blatant sexy cards that have little to do with love and everything with getting laid), for the "guy" that lives with mom, the man or woman that the person can't attract but keeps trying to win the other, zodiac valentines, inspirational valentine cards (they tend to be badly written and gushing), the e cards with the sappy music in the background, cards for pets (I'm not kidding!), humorous cards (women never appreciate them but we men love them and give them anyway), secret admirer valentines (do they ever say who they are?).

Here are a few of the worst written poetic valentine greetings I saw when I glanced at a few of the cards that were on line.

'As time goes by from year to year,
One thing is surely true, my dear;
Though decades come and decades go,
Just seeing you sets me a glow.'

'As Spider man I’d weave a web,
Lure you and catch you in it,
So you couldn’t just smile and walk away,
After talking less than a minute.''

'I’m an animal lover, I’m happy to say.
And I love them and pet them most every day.
So for you, Valentine, I thank heaven above,
Because you’re like the creatures I love'

'Valentine, you make me silly;
You make my heart beat willy-nilly;
When I'm with you, the world is hazy;
Valentine, you drive me crazy!'

Sigh....I hope I don't get any Valentines this year...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Catalogues

Many people say the catalogue that used to appear in mailboxes with regularity, is a dying breed. It's probably so, because snail mail itself is falling off in numbers every year. Fewer people send letters and other mail now by post. Electronic mail is in and snail mail is ending. So the noble catalogue that sold so much merchandise for more than a hundred years may not be around much longer.

I still get a few catalogues in my mailbox at Christmas time, and some retailers who sell only by mail or the internet still send them, but that is about it. Christmas time brings forth many catalogues and it makes me feel good to get them. They are as much nostalgic t em as practical.

But I do sometimes order from a Christmas catalogue. This doesn't mean that catalogues are gone altogether. They exist in on line versions. There are even web sites that show many catalogues the person can view from his or her computer. Catalogue Central is one of those. Then there are sites from which you can order catalogues to be sent to your snail. Try this one to see what that is about.. mailbox.http://www.catalogs.com/

But isn't that really just advertisements? What is the difference between a catalogue selling goods and an on-line advertisement? I looked up the word to see what it is an it says a catalogue is "A publication, such as a book or pamphlet, containing such a list or display". I suppose that means it's just bigger than the typical print advertisement. Seems to me any commercial advertisement you find on line is also big. In fact it is comprehensive enough to lead to other ads. So maybe catalogues exist only in paper form, not on line.

In the big picture of life losing the noble catalogues isn't a big matter to mourn. Most kids have no idea what they are and surely don't look at the pictured of the sexy lingerie ladies in catalogues like we used to do when I was a kid. Still, to me it is another end to something I grew up with, found dear, and will miss. It goes to reason that a catalogues will become extinct before magazines and newspapers do, though they are dying as well. It's cheaper to post catalogue style ads on line now and people have no patience to wade through a paper catalogue anymore. One of the drawbacks of the age of electronics is the loss of patience and the attention span.

I feel sorry that kids will never feel the excitement of pulling the Sears catalogue from their parents' mailbox and the anticipating of receiving the item they purchased using that catalogue. Half the fun of getting the purchase was the wait. But that was in the days when people had patience. I think I preferred those days to what we have now. Do you

Monday, February 8, 2010

Superbowl Celebration

The results of any football contest are not so important to me that I weep, jump for joy or elevate the game to any great importance, but I am happy for the city of New Orleans, it's residents, and the symbolism that New Orleans is not "dead". The headline in today's Times Picayune newspaper is a big 'AMEN'. Clever one, I think.

The natives behaved well last night in their celebration in the streets. Americans have a controlled enthusiasm for their sports champions which reflects their regulated, controlled manner in most things. They rarley pillage and burn in joy or sadness as happens elsewhere. Tuesday is a big parade for the team here in New Orleans. They will be out en mass for that one too, and I expect a drama queen kind of feeling about the parade. "Look at us, aren't we lovely". Well, they deeserve to sturt here after so many years of suffering.

Late in the game when the outcome was a near certainty I could hear residents of this subdivision come outside and whoop cheers of elation, fireworks were set off in the streets, cars honked horns, cries of joy could be heard through the doors of homes. In many areas of the city people spontaneously stopped their autos and joined whomever was celebrating at the intersection they happened to pass by.

It was a mini example of what I heard many years ago when I was in Wurzburg, Germany when Germany defeated Italy in a world cup semifinal soccer game. But that celebration was a negative one as well as a fun time, in that the natives went overboard and smashed windows of businesses, set fires, and expressed a kind of nationalism that was over the top, almost ugly. Happily that kind of celebration is unlikely here.

The Saints team overachieved this year. But don't most champions do that? The franchise cobbled together a team of losers, misfits and castoffs, mixed with some genuine stars in the city of imagination, and they imagined they could go all the way to a championship. They made imagination a reality. I hear from many locals that it was the "destiny" of the city to win the championship, as redemption for the near destruction of New Orleans from hurricane Katrina. The hope is that this event can inspire the city to do better in the more important areas a city must display in order to be a better place in which to live. Resilience won that football game. It's a nice feel- good story.

Beneath the celebration New Orleanians know there are ugly scars and problems with the city. Will the natives attack those as robustly as the football team attacked its opponents? That is the major question emitting from the end of a football game victory that so many here find to be a defining symbol of the city. Is this game the begining of an era of accomplishment or just a happy one the locals will forever remember and cherish?

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Superbowl New Orleans Style

The city of New Orleans has gone mad about this game. Most business will be closed today and many schools have already canceled classes for Monday. I find it weird that a football game played on Sunday brings about school closing on Monday. But they expect the fans to be worn out from celebrating or drowning in sorrow and, as a result, have high absence in school.

New Orleans had a mayor and city council election last night, the most important election for people of the city . Only about 40% of the voters bothered to cast a ballot as they were watching Mardi Gras parades, waving the Saints banner and many out of town in Miami, Florida (about 50,000 are there, most without tickets to the game) for the Superbowl. It is said that politics is the favorite sport in my state, but even that has been overshadowed by the Superbowl.

Hotels here are almost filled to capacity. It's odd, given so many people are out of town in Florida and the game is in Miami . During Mardi Gras the hotels usually are sold out the weekend before and through Mardi Gras day, not this early. But many thousands of people displaced to other cities in the U.S. after Hurricane Katrina have come back here to be in the city and watch the game here.

If it wins the game this city will experience a party like it never has before. The streets in the French Quarter area have been packed and rowdy with celebrants from all over the world. A victory/loss parade is scheduled in the city for Tuesday with Mardi Gras float and style. This is unusual because we never have parades for "special events" like this Superbowl event. I can't go out in public without seeing Saint paraphernalia, including the ever-present logo. And there have been so many songs written about the team in the past few months. You hear them everywhere in this music crazed city. People seem to be obsessed with the team because the success of it is something that is finally positive here after the destruction of the storm and dysfunctional existence of New Orleans since the storm.

An ironic twist to this game is that the star QB and the star receiver for the Colts are both native New Orleanians. My state is famous for its athletes, particularly football players. To have one of them beat the local team (Payton Manning, the Colt QB, is considered the best player in the NFL) would be surreal. And so it goes in surreal New Orleans,

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Aging Difficulties

I like the amusing poem Shakespeare wrote, The Seven Ages of man. It purported, tongue in cheek, to how that humans go through even stages in aging and how stage one and stage seven wind up being more similar than different. But in between the 'puking infant stage' and the 'old man with spindly legs' stage, allot goes on with aging that is odd.

Why for example, in some U.S. states can 14 year olds legally marry (with the parent's consent) but those same 14 year olds can't legally drive a car, drink alcohol or join the military in any state? It's a good example of the confusion of ages. Humans are told to "act your age" but what does that mean? I know that a 6 year old girl who plays with Barbie dolls is acting her age, and a 25 year old girl doing the same isn't. Interest spans determine those kinds of age definitions.

But what about the arbitrary age rules society imposes on us but seem incongruous.Need some examples of age confusion? In the U.S one must be at least 35 years old to be president. But to be a Congressman he or she need be only 25 years old. Why the difference? If a married couple aged 16 each wanted to see an R rated movie at the theater, they couldn't. Strange, huh. You have to be 18 years old to vote in the U.S. now. But 30 years ago a voter had to be 21 year of age. Does this mean people are three years more mature now than those of 30 years ago?

And why are their "elderly" seating sections in buses? Is everyone over 65 so infirm they have to have special seating. Too, how did the elderly one get to the bus in the first place? No doubt he or she was capable of walking to the bus and is also capable of sitting where ever he or she finds a seat.

Why do senior citizens and kids under 12 get discounts at events, like a movie. Do people under 12 or over 65 behave so differently at the theater that they deserve a lower admission price. When dating a younger woman or man are there not many who snicker at "the age difference", as if age is the single criteria for finding love. And why are infants 'cute' but toddlers are "terrors"?

Age is a confusing subject. I wonder how old we would be if we didn't know how old we were. We probably would be better off because we wouldn't decide so much our our choice based on our age. Well, I just hope I make it to 100 so I can be a kid again...yep, wear diapers, blurt out whatever I want, lose my memory and be swaddled by a nurse 80 years my junior.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Who's Famous Now?

My subject is a rhetorical question, and I have no answer to it anyway. It seems that the 21st century is beginning as the century in which people have become famous without reason.....the reality TV cultural creation. I wonder what that says about us as a people, that we treasure nothingness above substance, that we create celebrity from a lump of coal and then believe the lump is gold.

Anyone can become famous now. Random people became famous for being famous in the first decade of the 2000's. Famous for being nothing is in now, as mediums promote the loudest and most boorish of fame seekers instead of those with talent. "Stars" these days don't need to have any real talent to become famous. The growth of reality television, celebrity bloggers and paparazzi combined with the speed of the Internet has created a mindless desire for gossip fed by an instant path to stardom for anyone who is brazen enough to degrade him or herself in seeking it the "reality way".

Have we, as individuals in society, lost the ability to be critical thinkers? We now tend to consume a lot of information that isn't important, and too little that really does impact our lives. What gets lost in that misperception is reality and substance, excellence takes a back seat to promotion. And what matters now is not what talent you have and expose, but rather how much of your personal life are you willing to expose. the more the reality star humiliates him or herself the brighter the star glows with the public. And the reality star who is a train wreck is particularly adored because so much of the public today takes satisfaction in seeing their pseudo stars melt down.

Maybe it's why so many more people today aspire to be celebs than inventors, engineers, scientists. teachers.... anything substance that requires hard work to achieve. But as we make unimportant people into important ones, do we miss what the really important ones are doing? And will this obsession with false idolatry increase or just be a passing fad?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

New Fringe Mardi Gras Krewes

Blame it on the fact that New Orleans has suffered a bizarre flooding (in 2005) which has changed its Mardi Gras parade tradition even more than the normal evolution of new parades coming and old standbys slowly dying. Fact is, since the hurricane destroyed so much of the city we have a few new, interesting, weird, mostly satirical, minor, but entertaining Mardi Gras parades to see.

The newest is the Krewe of Delusion, a collection of new and old marching groups gathered under a heady, self-made philosophy and governance that declare New Orleans to be the center of the universe (one of our many delusions). Harry Shearer, the actor, filmmaker, commentator, voice on 'The Simpsons' and New Orleanian, is its ruler. Only locals can get away with this kind of thing.

“Benevolent autocratic dementia is a form of government we believe in,” Shearer said as representative of the krewe. It fits because that's the kind of government New Orleans has always had, a demented one. The tools of the parade will be satire, poking fun at local politics, local traditions, the dysfunctional city government and itself.But there are more new "unusual" ones parading since the hurricane.

The Krewe du Jieux (New Orleans Jewish Mardi Gras Parade who's king wears a massive golden bagel around his neck), Noisician Coalition (a rag tag group of musicians who play their own "invented instruments" dressed in whatever and described by the founder as a"collection of fools") and the Camel Toe Lady Steppers (described as a group of classy ladies who like to dress "real fancy"....bizarre might be a better description), and Krewe of Bananas give away their satirical bent with their names. The Krewe of 6t’9 formed after Hurricane Katrina and puts on an annual Halloween parade. Haha That's right, 6t9. Ask your mom to explain what that one is about, I won't do it.

Then there is the flood of illegal Hispanic immigrant who poured into New Orleans after the hurricane in search of work. There still here and want to participate in the Greatest Free Show on Earth too. The Krewe of Amigos de los Amigos formed last year to pay homage to the city's expanded Hispanic presence. The Amigos will serve as security escorts for the Delusion parade, donning Mexican wrestler outfits and holding up wrestling ring ropes population. Stereotypes make sense during Mardi Gras because they make us laugh.

Then then there is the AllKreweists, founded by a group of mostly non Hispanic and completely legal transplants who came to New Orleans to do recovery work after the storm and fell under the city's spell. They fell in love with the city, made it their home, and want everyone to know they are already as crazy as the rest of us who live here. And so it goes here at Mardi Gras

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

New Fringe Mardi Gras Krewes

Blame it on the fact that New Orleans has suffered a bizarre flooding (in 2005) which has changed its Mardi Gras parade tradition even more than the normal evolution of new parades coming and old standbys slowly dying. Fact is, since the hurricane destroyed so much of the city we have a few new, interesting, weird, mostly satirical, minor, but entertaining Mardi Gras parades to see.

The newest is the Krewe of Delusion, a collection of new and old marching groups gathered under a heady, self-made philosophy and governance that declare New Orleans to be the center of the universe (one of our many delusions). Harry Shearer, the actor, filmmaker, commentator, voice on 'The Simpsons' and New Orleanian, is its ruler. Only locals can get away with this kind of thing.

“Benevolent autocratic dementia is a form of government we believe in,” Shearer said as representative of the krewe. It fits because that's the kind of government New Orleans has always had, a demented one. The tools of the parade will be satire, poking fun at local politics, local traditions, the dysfunctional city government and itself.

But there are more new "unusual" ones parading since the hurricane. The Krewe du Jieux (New Orleans Jewish Mardi Gras Parade who's king wears a massive golden bagel around his neck), Noisician Coalition (a rag tag group of musicians who play their own "invented instruments" dressed in whatever and described by the founder as a"collection of fools") and the Camel Toe Lady Steppers (described as a group of classy ladies who like to dress "real fancy"....bizarre might be a better description), and Krewe of Bananas give away their satirical bent with their names. The Krewe of 6t’9 formed after Hurricane Katrina and puts on an annual Halloween parade.

Haha That's right, 6t9. Ask your mom to explain what that one is about, I won't do it.
Then there is the flood of illegal Hispanic immigrant who poured into New Orleans after the hurricane in search of work. There still here and want to participate in the Greatest Free Show on Earth too. The Krewe of Amigos de los Amigos formed last year to pay homage to the city's expanded Hispanic presence. The Amigos will serve as security escorts for the Delusion parade, donning Mexican wrestler outfits and holding up wrestling ring ropes population. Stereotypes make sense during Mardi Gras because they make us laugh.

Then then there is the AllKreweists, founded by a group of mostly non Hispanic and completely legal transplants who came to New Orleans to do recovery work after the storm and fell under the city's spell. They fell in love with the city, made it their home, and want everyone to know they are already as crazy as the rest of us who live here. And so it goes here at Mardi Gras time....