Too Hard To Open

I just had armed combat with a container of gelato. And it was all about opening the thing. I couldn't get it open and no matter how hard I tried to figure out the method, I resorted to a wrench and pried it open. My reward was the Tiramisu gelato was outstanding, a lucky find in an upscale grocery store, it was imported from Verona, Italy and it was as creamy and as nice as many gelato ice cream servings I had there. But, Sigh, even the Italians seem to have a proclivity for making products which are way too difficult to open.

Have you noticed how hard it is to open things you buy at stores? They are either so complicated as to the way to be opened or too tight to open. What happened to twisting or tearing something open. If you try to twist open a top now, you have to be a circus strong man to do it. And those cardboard drink cartons......how many times do milk cartoons not open with the push up direction given on the container. You end up prying it open with a screwdriver and find that in doing so you have created a drip every time you pour a glass of milk.

What about the plastics that they use to seal products, like the cable you buy for your computer. They never pop open as directed. I always wind up giving up and just cut through them with a knife or with scissors. Who ever invented those packages and the plastic snap package they use to enclose baked goods at grocery stores, should be tried and executed immediately. I think that if a person were lost in a forest and had one of those snap close package of rolls in his backpack, he or she would probably starve to death because of the impossibility of opening the package.

Why do they make boxes and packages so hard to open? Even opening the standard the Fed Ex boxes now requires a plan, patience and luck. I guess they make them that way so no one can tamper with them in stores or when in transit, and because it protects the product from damage while in transport. The contents of the packages are protected by the packaging way more than I want.

It's for their convenience, not the consumer's. I wonder if Microsoft designed those packages. I may be paranoid but it reeks of their brand, the "Let's see how un necessarily complicated we can make this" style. Don't those medicine bottles that are "childproof" remind you of opening Windows 7?

I don't mind taking a chance that a product can be tampered with. Just give me a package I can easily open. Oh, if this rant on bad packaging was difficult to open, please send your complaint to microsoft, not me.

Snowy Days

We had our first snowfall of winter today. Being from Louisiana it's not a familiar site either to me or to many in Portland, as snow in Portland itself is rare (though it snows often just outside the city in the hills and mountains surrounding it). Being a snow amateur I have some amateur observations about the reactions those unfamiliar with snow have to it.

People here react hysterically, excitedly, with great anticipation when told that "snow is on the way". It mirrors how people on Louisiana react to news of an impending hurricane. In both cases there is both a practical dread of damage or inconvenience the storms may cause and a child-like desire to see what the snow or hurricane will do. They love and hate it. Wait, I thought passionate love and hate was only in romantic relationships... Anyway, it's the psychology of irrational reaction to an impending event whose effect is unknown.

When I was doing my usual morning grocery shopping trip yesterday I saw mobs of people excited, their eyes glowing widely with wonder, about the "big snow" they just knew was coming. Uh, problem is, the "big snow" was forecast to be nothing more than a trace or light dusting (In the end, it was a little more than that). The anticipated bigness grew from the citizens' wants, not from the meteorological science. It seemed that everyone in the grocery store bought supplies in a volume that they would never need (I saw one shopper buy three loves of bread), purchased I think as a kind of motivation for the snow to be as big as they wanted.

Hmmmm If we buy extra supplies the snow would not dare disappoint us by not showing up for the party. A local newscast report stated yesterday that sled sales had skyrocketed in hope that the snow would allow winter fun. Snow tire chain sales wee breaking record yesterday. You get the idea. We want to play kin snow and will do anything, including being irrational, to get it

Well, meteorologists and their TV stations also love to fan the flames of snow events because the ratings go up when people believe there could be snow and that they must be "ready" for it. In New Orleans, whenever a hurricane is even many days away TV stations there also practice the "scare them" method by broadcasting a every doom and gloom possibility that the hurricane might have if it happened to hit the city in the most unlikely scenario possible. I think TV weather casters love storms more than anyone.

Another thing that happens when it may snow, almost snows or snows is that people drive their automobiles as if they were racing to a hospital emergency room. There is a sense of urgency to their speeding in two opposite directions. First they drive recklessly because they are afraid they will miss the snow the so badly want to see. They want to make sure they are out of their cars when it comes. The other speedily , reckless snow drivers seem to be trying to get where they want to go before the snow impedes them. "I have to drive like a fool and put everyone's lives in danger so I won't put myself in danger by driving on top of a few drops of snow." It makes no sense.

So, If you happen to hear it's going to snow, I suggest you hop on a plane and rest a while in the tropics.

What To Do With The Dead

I just read that 75% of all people who die are still buried somewhere in the world in caskets in the ground. With only 25% being cremated I wonder if there will eventually be no more room to bury everyone who wants a casket. The world population is over 6 billion now, which is more people than have lived previously in all the time humans have been on earth. But there does seem to be a trend away from burials. And I wonder if being buried is really the best way to remember those who die.

If you ever visit cemeteries (most people bury and then rarely ever return to the burial site of their loved one) you know first hand that most graves are neglected or altogether forgotten. It's not because of a lack of love or thought about those who have died. I think it's probably because visiting often would make us feel sad and not allow is to move forward with our lives. Too much grief is a psychological killer for the living. Humans must live in the present and future or they wilt in the past.

I also think people today are too busy to deal with death in the ways we dealt with it the past. We have lost the privilege and convenience of "doing nothing" because there is so much stimuli for us to deal with every day . Just like not being able to stay home on Sundays and lazily rocking on the front porch or rocking in a hammock in the back yard, today our lives are governed by the forces and demands of modernity.

We no longer have time to pay homage to the dead the way in which it has traditionally been done. But humans must remember those who came before them. We do it more with our thoughts about them than via our cemeteries anyway, so perhaps changing the ritual from burial to cremation is a tend that is not so bad. But technology gives us a a better way for honoring those who have died that might make the departed longer a part of the living world . It might be better to stop burying and start recording ourselves or gathering written records left behind by the deceased. Why can not a written and recorded journal about our lives be an alternative to burying and forgetting the deceased?

It's frustrating for anyone who wants or needs to know his or her family genealogy. Other than my daughter, who has no interest in family history, I am the last survivor of my family, and what records, pictures, documents and words from long gone family I have is an incomplete one. I think most people have a similar gap in their own family histories. But the power of modern communication makes it easier to avoid that gap.

Even something as insignificant as what I write here is a revelation about this author that could be a posterity more noticeable than a grave site. Whatever reciord we leave behind gives us evidence of who we are and that can influence the living still.

We need to know our roots in order to have a stable foundation. Cemeteries are good reminders of those roots, but are insufficient in revealing the branches that make the family tree. Perhaps we should replace those graveyards with a written and recorded cemetery.

Celebrity Endorsements

Celebrity endorsements are getting out of hand. While in a drug store the other day I saw evidence of it. The product endorsement for sale was for an " Electric Justin Beiber Singing Tooth Brush". I'm not kidding. The only thing electric that I would buy that is tied to that Beiber kid would an electric chair with which to electrocute him. But what does that kid have to do with teeth? It seems a lot more celebrities are endorsing products a that they have no knowledge about.

Celebrity endorsements are a good way to sell a product, but it only works if the right celebrity is paired with the right product. If a star athlete is promoting an exercise product it makes sense. But if the athlete endorses a cigarette brand it's not. But some companies attempt to get around this problem by picking a celebrity that has absolutely nothing to do with their product (Justin Beiber's toothbrush), and the commercials that result from these combinations are weird or out of step with logic.

Eva Longoria in advertisements for L’Oreal or Jennifer Lopez’s latest perfume might be ok because they at least feature products that the consumer believes the celebrity herself uses. But rocker Ozzy Ozbourne's butter commercial strain my imagination. Do rock stars also make their own butter? Probably not. No doubt Ozzy will endorse any product that pays him enough to fawn over it. Hmmmm I'm not celebrity but I'll to a commercial praising Justin Beiber's toothbrush if the price is right.

So it gets down to the consumer responsibility. Why do consumers respond so often to celebrity affiliation with a product? Consumers do buy more of the product, whether or not the product is good or bad, after a celebrity endorses it. In advertising the process of a celebrity endorsement selling the product is called 'transfer'. That is, the like-ability or recognize-ability of the celebrity is enough in itself to make the buyer purchase a product that the celebrity endorses. This might be because people feel "closer" to celebrity status themselves when they use a product they think the celebrity uses.

Celebrities endorsing brands has been steadily increasing over the past few years. Marketers acknowledge the power of celebrities in influencing consumer-purchasing decisions. But I didn't see any of those Justin Beiber toothbrushes missing from the sales rack on which they sat at the drug store. I don't think any endorsement can sell that.

To Cut Or Not To Cut

It happened again...the male nightmare. Another crazy woman chopped off her husband's penis with a pair of scissors after he passed out from a night of drinking and taking pills. Hmmm, drinking and taking pills is almost normal these days in this age of irresponsibility. But cutting off love muscles is way too much abuse.

The woman is from Vietnam and her identity is vague. But we do know her husband is Taiwanese and that the cutting happened in Taiwan. I guess publicizing her name could increase the sales of scissors so much in Taiwan that it's best to keep it a secret and not exhaust the scissors supply. Press reports identify her as 'Pan' and she is being charged with assault that could lead to as much as 12 years in prison if she is convicted. The woman claims that the relationship with her Taiwanese husband was one of infidelity and abuse , and that is what led to her remove his favorite body part. She does not regret it in the slightest.

Uh, I assume he has plenty of regrets. But shouldn't she have known he was a substance abuser and a loser before she married him, or did he become like that only after they got married? Maybe she drove him to his bad behavior? Who knows? Anyway, she says that she's glad for what she did, and she feels that she taught him a lesson.

The woman told police that her husband, whom she'd been with for two years, was 29-years old and unemployed as well as a frequent user of illegal drugs. He also had an affair with another woman, which "Pan" says he did not try to hide at all. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. So, he got to say so long to his penis when she sawed if off with the scissors and threw it into a river. It looks like it became fish food. Poor fish.

It seems that the publicity about penis cutting has started a wave of it. Just last month a California woman drugged her husband before cutting off his weapon of love and then throwing it in their garbage disposal....all because he filed for a divorce. It's odd to hear that cutting off a penis is a trendy fad. In ancient times armies were sometimes known to sever the penises of their enemies to count the dead, as well as for trophies, In China long ago castration and penis removal was one punishment for sexual crimes. But the practice is being revived in some countries. From 1973 to 1980 one hundred cases of Thai women cutting off their husband's penises were recorded. In Asian cultures the practices is far more widespread. Hmmm I am scratching Thai women off my dating and marriage list.

Anyway, Pan's man will end up a eunuch, and she will spend sometime in jail, not a very nice approach to a problem. One lesson to learn from it is, if you are male and you marry, remove the scissors from your house and try to find an extra penis for disguise just in case.

Multitasking

Humans really don't do many things at once well, because that's not how most human brains are structured to work. When we multitask, we split our time across all the different things we're trying to do. And there are two problems with that. One problem is that there's a cost to switching back and forth between the things you're trying to do, and the other is if you're participating in some kind of event that's unfolding in time, you're going to miss things when you switch your attention away from that event. If you're checking your e-mail at the same time you are trying to converse with a person standing in front of you, you're not really doing both things at same time (multitasking), you're doing a little bit of e-mail and a little bit of talking and very little thinking. Much of the real time conversation you having consists of looking at the the e-mail or doing some other multi task you've just missed.

So why is multitasking seen as a good thing, and why is it seen by so many to be higher level of functioning? I have opinions about this (I have opinions on everything) as to why people seem to want to multitask. One reason may be social pressure to conform to the technological mania in the world today. It's the three blind mice predicament. Technology has been defined by society to be superior to non technology, a definition that unfortunately does not include the role of how we use the technology when defining it. The fact is that much of our personal use technology is primitive, misguided..uh disgustingly rude and anti intellectual. Still, social pressure tells us we must be robots. We must be multitaskers or we will be viewed as odd. We must be like the three blind mice who simply do as others do without thought about the usefulness of doing so.

A second reason people multitask with their technology is that technology is addictive. Addicts don't realize or admit they are addicted, technology addicts included. Society is past the point of realizing that a person should first see a "need " for technology or a reason to use or own it. Instead, we use it robotically, and this makes us think less deeply. Thinking less deeply when multitasking affects our intellect's use and growth by deadening it. How can one give deep thought to a concept when engaged in the many small thoughts required by multitasking with technology? Yet we multitask confidently, contending that we are alert on all fronts as we do it. But, for example, we would be repulsed if the physician operating on our heart were to send and read E mails and listen to an ipod while doing the surgery. With each task engaged in at the same time as others our proficiency level falls as we are distracted by them all.

Another reason we blindly, happily, multitask our way through the day is the notion that in doing so we are trendy and out front. He or she who has not the latest electronic gadget is seen as "out of touch" with the modern world. And the non multitasker is indeed out of touch. But for multitaskers this concept of being in touch is with the electronic world, not the human one. In fact, those with an electronic orientation are the ones who most often divorce themselves from reality (by changing real world into electronic communication).

So now you can denounce me as being a fossil, one who fights technological "improvement". Or perhaps you were multitasking when reading this and, as a result, haven't got a clue as to what I wrote.

Let's Get Rid Of January

My favorite month December, has come and gone. I waved good-bye to Santa, bought some extra Christmas sweets for later indulgence, and grimaced as boring January appeared. Hmmm Maybe we have one month too many. I refer to January. It might be better to just take those 31 January days (why do they always give the worst months the most days?) and drop and drag them (and you thought I was low tech!) into December. Surely, Santa would love the extra time for delivery and the world's bakers, caterers and restaurants would make a fortune on the extra holiday food binges in which we all love to participate.

If you think January is exciting and I am loony, I dare you to find the holidays in January we can have fun celebrating. Just take a look at what January tries to pass off as holidays.

Jan 3 Humiliation Day- I humiliate myself ever time I write stupidity here. I don't need a day to celebrate it.
Jan 4 Flower Basket Day- I'll only celebrate that when women start to give men flowers.
Jan 6 Cuddle Up Day- There are some people I absolutely don't want to cuddle with. Hmmm Better lock myself inside that day.
Jan 8 Bubble Bath Day- What do people do if they live in a place with no tub. Can you take a bubble bath in the shower?
Jan 10 Houseplant Appreciation Day. Time to tell your ficus plants you really care.... if all the flowers you got on Houseplant Appreciation Day haven't already died because you forgot to water them.
Jan 11 Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day. This, I believe, is followed by Push Fred off the Cliff Day or some such other violent act against those we love.
Jan 13 Blame Someone Else Day and Friday the 13th Day. Hmmmm Don't we blame someone else every day, and what month would be so boring as to celebrate the unlucky Friday 13th?
Jan 17 Ditch New Years Resolutions Day. I made one about 7 the morning of New Year's Day and broke it at 7:01 am That's about normal for resolutions
Jan 24 Compliment Day. It's my favorite holiday ever......so where is my compliment? I guess I ask too much....

I did leave out a few holidays that are significant, Chinese New Year and Tet Day for example, but they fall in February as much or more than in January. So, have I made my case about the end of January? Are you ready to transfer January into December?