World Naked Bike Day

Have you heard about 'World Naked Bike Ride Day'?  It's an odd annual event for those of us who think it's much nice to appear in public in clothes. Too, for some like me, it is leftism taken to an extreme.  According to the Naked Bike Ride organizers, people ride their bikes naked or nearly naked in many cities across the world for the following reasons.

• Save the planet! shifting to a carfree lifestyle is one of the most powerful things a person can do to make a real difference in reducing negative environmental impacts on this planet.
• It's time to put a stop to the indecent exposure of people and the planet to cars and the pollution they create. We face automobile traffic with our naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity and exposing the vulnerability faced by cyclists and pedestrians on our streets as well as the negative consequences we all face due to dependence on oil, and other forms of non-renewable energy
• Breathe easier. If you stand in a closed garage with a running car, you will die in a matter of minutes. Hundreds of thousands of cars in our cities create dirty, unhealthy air
• Body image/self awareness. Cycling promotes body awareness, the fact that one can achieve a more healthy lifestyle from the exercise we achieve by using self-powered transport
• Self-sufficiency. Cycling makes us non-renewable energy sources, less dependent oil
• Think Globally, Act locally. Cycling promotes local cycling businesses and local cycling organizations.
• Less is more. WNBR strips the complexities from modern transport to a simplified message of cycling. For the vast majority of most peoples' transport needs, cycles are the right vehicle for the right job. "You don't need a wheelbarrow to carry a pea".
• The unabashed vehicle of the revolution. By cycling naked we declare our confidence in the beauty and individuality of our bodies and the bicycle's place as a catalyst for change in the future of sustain ability, transport, community and recreation.
• Community building. Bicycles create public space, enhance street life and build a sense of community
• Peace of mind. People are looking for places where they're not constantly being confronted with cars. It's just like non-smokers seeking smoke free space.

I hope they are only kidding, but I am afraid they are not. But I could add to the list that the World Naked Bike Ride is also about exhibitionists who find solace in group public indecency. That's fine by me, because I am not one who will watch their show anyway. If i want to watch naked I want to see pretty naked.  Must the naked riders pretend they are protesting whatever that mush above said? They might be better received if they just proclaimed they wanted to show their love muscles and jugs. We all can relate better to that. Somehow the ridiculous charade of riding a bike naked as a means of attacking perceived world problems just doesn't inspire very much.

There is a Naked Bike Ride in both my former home of New Orleans and my new one of Portland, but I don't think the naked riders have had any impact on the problems that they think are real. Perhaps the main reason is that the majority of naked riders I have seen in photos don't have the type of bodies I would want to see. Uh, their bodies  look more like my body than they look like that of a Greek God or Goddess. Perhaps there should have some appearance criteria in order to ride nude. The prettiest bodies would get to pedal in the nude and the bodies that make a person upchuck his lunch would have to be bundled heavily in  all available clothing. I think most riders would wind up clothed.

So I am confused about this summer event, and think I'll wait to watch until something more titillating is in the works. Let's see. I have a suggestion. How about the New York City Rockette Dancers holding their first Nude Rock of Knockers event. Now that would be a relevant protest.