Kinds Of Talkers

Some people say I talk too much, or am too candid. It may be so if I am interested in the conversation, but most times I am quiet. As a talker I would classify myself as a 'Situational Chatterer'..or whatever you would label that kind of person. Anyway, I am not going to write about me. Instead, I want to make some observations about the kinds of talkers out there. Maybe you will agree with them or just tell me to SHUT UP! Or perhaps you can tell me about some other kinds of talker you meet each day.

The other day while in a holding area with more than 200 other extra actors who were about to be called to the movie set I had plenty of free time to talk to many strangers and acquaintances I know from the working movies over the past few years. There are quite a few regular extras I know and am friendly with, but besides sitting with them and chatting I like to meet new talkers. With time to kill that day I started to observe the talkers and found these types.

*Too Close For Comfort Talker- I don't like this type. They are practically kissing you when they speak. Like the Too Loud Talker (see below) the Too Close one may be deaf or have suffered some hearing loss. The only good Too Close For Comfort talkers are the sexy ones. I never turn away from hot sexy Close babes. But if you talk to a Too Close Talker you may also learn about bad breath. One strategy in dealing with this type is to excuse yourself saying you have to visit the bathroom. Just be hopeful the Too Close doesn't follow you or you may have had the misfortune run into the Gay To Close talker species.

* Too Loud Talker- Besides hearing problems that makes them scream, the Too Loud often is just confident of what they are saying and wants you to hear it. I find that this species is very emotional, the screaming type in general. Do not discuss politics or religion with a Too Loud because those are emotional subjects that can lead to you becoming a Too Assaulted listener.
* Too Soft Talker- This one wants us to pay attention to him or her. many people think soft speakers are intellectuals. I have never understood that rationale. Does being a mute make one a genius? The strategy used by Too Soft Talkers is to speak so softly that we are forced to hear the nonsense. Many boring people are soft talkers. They are so defeated by their lack of personality and charm they almost become mute as a reaction formation. By speaking softly they bring us down to their level. They laugh can be on them too, as in my case, because I am already at the lowest possible level.

* Mumbler Talker- This type of talker is the hardest of all to understand. I had a few as a student in college which was probably fortuitous because I could blame them for my low grades courses. "I can't understand him! Why else did I flunk that class"? Most people knew I flunked because I am a numbskull, but I loved that rationalization anyway. The move extra Mumble is spoke with that day seemed tired or on something. That's one reason people mumble. Another might be because they don't understand much and mumble to make us misunderstand too. I notice allot of Mumblers work at train or bus stations announcing the arrival or departures. They must hire them so we miss the bus and have to buy another ticket.

* Repeater Talker- We meet repeaters all the time. They keep saying the same thing over and over because they think we don't listen to them, are too stupid to understand the first time or because they are incapable of elaborating on a subject. One Repeater extra I talked to the other day repeatedly asked me if I had worked in a particular film now being shot. No matter how many times I told him I had, he kept asking the same thing. The repeater can clear an area quickly because everyone has heard his dialogue already and wants to vanish. One good strategy in handling the Repeater is to lithely introduce him or her to the Mumbler. It's like seeing two piranha fish go after each other.

*Gesture Talker- I enjoy talking to this one but always stand away from him or her to avoid be plunked by an out of control arm or hand. The Gesturer must be hyperactive because they never stop making signs and waving body parts when they speak. I think Italians gesture more than non Italians. 'Hey! Vinnie!(waving hands and gesturing obscenely) Waddda ya talkin bout." (gun drawn now). You have to remember to never mention the Mafia when conversing with a Gesturer. Otherwise, it might become your last conversation. I am sure Joe Pesci is a Gesture talker.

* Questioner Talker- I always feel like a student again when I talk with a Questioner. They asks questions of you as they speak. "Isn't that right"? is a typical one they use. But these are rhetorical questions and should never be nor are expected to be answered. Otherwise, the Questioner gets off track and that is what he or she most hates. Questioners seem to be reading from a script loaded with questions. Make sure you study hard before talking to a member of that species. Do you understand? Are you sure?

* Unfinished Talker- If you don't feel like talking to anyone this is the guy or gal to converse with. The Unfinished talker never lets you get a word in the conversation and appears to be talking mainly to himself (some have even been observed talking to air in an empty room). You can ignore the Unfinsihed talker and it won't bother him or her at all. They are talking because they like to hear themselves, not to engage you. Most of the time Unfinished doesn't pause at the end of the sentence because to do so would allow the listener to talk too. These talkers are convinced of their position on everything and see no reason anyone else should speak. Most politicians are Unfinished Talkers

I think I am about all talked (written) out now.