The biggest social issue in the world today seems to be the
gay
marriage controversy. That is, should gay marriage be legalized and
placed on an equal footing with heterosexual marriages. Just the other
day over 300,000 French citizens rallied protest the legalization of
gay marriage. It is odd, given that France is a fairly liberal nation
in regard to social behavior. But then, some of the least likely
places and people one would assume to be in favor or against gay major
sometimes hold the opposite view. The issue is quite hard to categorize.
Since 2001 when the first nation to legalize gay marriage, The
Netherlands, made gay marriage legal there have been nine others to do
the same. Six of those are European. Legislation to make gay marriage
legal is also pending in eight nations, including Finland and
Australia, and civil unions or some form of gay partnerships are legal
in more than 20 countries. The U.S. has legalized gay marriage in
several states but not nationwide, as the constitution defines
marriage as a state law province, and each state determines its own
marriage rules. This may change with upcoming court case about states
and the federal government denying entitlement benefits to same sex
couples. If the court rules that no state or the federal government can
deny entitlements such as the social security death benefit to same sex
partners, gay marriage may be de facto instituted everywhere in the U.S.
The change in attitudes here about same sex couples being allowed tom
marry has been an amazing one the past few years. It has changed so
fast. Just five years ago the vast majority of people in the U.S. did
not favor legalization. Now the majority does. In this country there
are numerous social and legal reasons why gay people should be allowed
to marry. Here are a few of the legal ones.
* Health care- Legally married spouses are considered next of kin and
thus are allowed to make critical health care decisions and have
visitation rights. Also, unmarried partners are not eligible for
Medicare or Medicaid and must pay taxes on health care coverage if
they're lucky enough to be included on a family plan.
* Taxes- Unmarried couples are not permitted to file their tax returns
jointly, and therefore are ineligible to take advantages of the many
tax benefits of filing as a couple. They pay much higher tax rates as a
result. Also, the transfer of personal property between unmarried
couples causes bad tax consequences, which do not occur when the couple
is legally wed.
* Death- unmarried couples suffer on the death of one. The survivor is
not eligible to draw on various social security and retirement benefits
that married couples can.
* Immigration- Gay unmarried couples don't have the ability to claim
U.S. residency at the same rate as married couples.
* Insurance- Unmarried couples cannot purchase joint homeowner's or
auto insurance, automatically forcing them to pay higher rates that
married couples do not have to pay. In a great number of cases,
unmarried partners or their children are ineligible to be covered under
family health insurance plans.
* Property- The rules that protect married couples in dividing property
after a split do not apply to unmarried couples who own property
together.
* Family Leave- Unmarried partners are not entitled to the rights
extended by the Family Medical Leave Act. If a partner in a same sex
relationship had a serious health issue where he or she needed taking
care of, their spouse would not be permitted to take time off from work
to do so. In effect, either they'd have to hire someone to do it or
risk losing their job from taking too much time away from work.
* Inheritance- Partners in a legally unrecognized relationship do not
automatically inherit property from a deceased partner without a will.
They are also ineligible to receive the many inheritance rights
afforded legal spouses.
So these things alone explain why gay people see gay marriage as an
important civil rights issue. Unfortunately, for the sake of their
cause, many people see it as a religious or moral issue. The mater will
be settled by that divide between legal and moral views. In this
country and other democratic ones it will be a question of whether
religious or moral opposition will defeat the legal discrimination that
is currently in place. I think the legal advocates will win the day and
gay marriage will become a more accepted and common practice in many
places around the world. It should be interesting to watch the debate.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Malls
I rarely go to shopping malls, mostly because I like neither
shopping nor the crowds that flock to malls. But malls are a fascinating
phenomenon. The first shopping mall , an American invention, was the
Country Club Plaza in Kansas City Missouri. It opened in 1922. Nothing
good ever seems to happen in Missouri, and I include the shopping mall
as another of the no good contributions to that odd American state. In
1956 the Southdall mall opened in Minneapolis, Minnesota (where the
world's biggest mall, The Mall of America, is today). It was the first
enclosed mall. Then in the 1980's the mega malls that are everywhere in
the world now first appeared.
And so it began and now endures. There are malls everywhere today, regardless of the income level of the place in which the mall is found. Most have the same stores, type of stores and much the same merchandise. They are all decidedly western institutions. Go to a mall in China and then one in New Jersey. I bet you could not tell which is in China and which in the United States. If there ever was a prototype retail site it is the mall. They all have movie theaters, food courts, and endless supplies of teenagers walking about mischievously leering at others and carrying ice cream cones or those awful pretzels that the malls sell.
We still have single fixed site stores available as an alternative to malls that I use, but the current generation disdains them. I wonder if malls are like cancer cells in that they keep growing in size and numbers. They encourage some rather strange behavior by the shoppers who patronize them and are even thought of a social meeting places for the young. One thing I notice when at malls is that women seem to dress better than normal when shopping there. But the men are the same fat slobs who wear thong shoes and have beer bellies bulging out of their t shirts. Why do the ladies look so much nicer? I think if you entered a church and observed ho the parishioners are dressed you would find that the ladies who shop at the mall are better dressed than the ones kneeling in the church pews. I wonder why women get dressed up to shop for dressy clothes? There must be some deep psychological explanation for that.
Another thing I notice at the mall is that many of the males shopping there are uncomfortable with the whole mall concept. They would rather be outside. Some are along for the trip because their lady demands their presence, and a few misguided males are there to actually buy clothes. But most want to get in and out as fast as possible. Men do not like "browsing", nor do they want to own 50 pairs of shoes. I find that the teenage boys more often parked in the food court, since we all know teenage boys eat like whales. The older men who are with their wives can often be seen sitting on those dirty but welcoming mall sofa and chairs alone and waiting for the wife or gf to emerge from a store. There is a look on the faces of those men that scream to be rescued and taken home, but there is also a resignation that their lady has only begun to browse/buy for the junk she doesn't need and will probably eventually return for exchange after buying.
There is also allot of opinion pooling at the malls. Though those women who stop mall shoppers to ask opinions are the least bothersome of them. Just say "no thanks" and walk away. But the opinion tester most men hate is that of the ladies that dragged them to the mall in the first place. "Does this dress make me look fat"? Do you like the style of this dress"? "It's on sale...maybe I should buy it"? The smart man will abstain from comment on any of those kinds of questions and just hand over his credit card to his lady. There is no winning for a male in a shopping mall.
Why are there so many "sales" at malls? Some of those sale signs look dusty and dated. I suspect the stores have sales on some of there items every day of the year. The presence of sale signs, even when the shoppers themselves know they are a ruse to induce more buying, is a feature that is designed to help the buyer relieve any guilt he or she may have for purchasing things not needed.
I suppose that an iconic institution like the shopping mall is better left alone than to be analyzed, like the other great mysteries of the universe. But I am perplexed about the popularity of malls. However, if any mall finds out about my antisocial views of their existence maybe they will ban me from shopping at their stores. And that would be a good thing!
And so it began and now endures. There are malls everywhere today, regardless of the income level of the place in which the mall is found. Most have the same stores, type of stores and much the same merchandise. They are all decidedly western institutions. Go to a mall in China and then one in New Jersey. I bet you could not tell which is in China and which in the United States. If there ever was a prototype retail site it is the mall. They all have movie theaters, food courts, and endless supplies of teenagers walking about mischievously leering at others and carrying ice cream cones or those awful pretzels that the malls sell.
We still have single fixed site stores available as an alternative to malls that I use, but the current generation disdains them. I wonder if malls are like cancer cells in that they keep growing in size and numbers. They encourage some rather strange behavior by the shoppers who patronize them and are even thought of a social meeting places for the young. One thing I notice when at malls is that women seem to dress better than normal when shopping there. But the men are the same fat slobs who wear thong shoes and have beer bellies bulging out of their t shirts. Why do the ladies look so much nicer? I think if you entered a church and observed ho the parishioners are dressed you would find that the ladies who shop at the mall are better dressed than the ones kneeling in the church pews. I wonder why women get dressed up to shop for dressy clothes? There must be some deep psychological explanation for that.
Another thing I notice at the mall is that many of the males shopping there are uncomfortable with the whole mall concept. They would rather be outside. Some are along for the trip because their lady demands their presence, and a few misguided males are there to actually buy clothes. But most want to get in and out as fast as possible. Men do not like "browsing", nor do they want to own 50 pairs of shoes. I find that the teenage boys more often parked in the food court, since we all know teenage boys eat like whales. The older men who are with their wives can often be seen sitting on those dirty but welcoming mall sofa and chairs alone and waiting for the wife or gf to emerge from a store. There is a look on the faces of those men that scream to be rescued and taken home, but there is also a resignation that their lady has only begun to browse/buy for the junk she doesn't need and will probably eventually return for exchange after buying.
There is also allot of opinion pooling at the malls. Though those women who stop mall shoppers to ask opinions are the least bothersome of them. Just say "no thanks" and walk away. But the opinion tester most men hate is that of the ladies that dragged them to the mall in the first place. "Does this dress make me look fat"? Do you like the style of this dress"? "It's on sale...maybe I should buy it"? The smart man will abstain from comment on any of those kinds of questions and just hand over his credit card to his lady. There is no winning for a male in a shopping mall.
Why are there so many "sales" at malls? Some of those sale signs look dusty and dated. I suspect the stores have sales on some of there items every day of the year. The presence of sale signs, even when the shoppers themselves know they are a ruse to induce more buying, is a feature that is designed to help the buyer relieve any guilt he or she may have for purchasing things not needed.
I suppose that an iconic institution like the shopping mall is better left alone than to be analyzed, like the other great mysteries of the universe. But I am perplexed about the popularity of malls. However, if any mall finds out about my antisocial views of their existence maybe they will ban me from shopping at their stores. And that would be a good thing!
Happiness Day
I think you just missed the world's first International Day
of Happiness. That passed me by too but the United Nations did legislate
March 20 as a day we are supposed to be deliriously happy. London
commuters were greeted with happiness street signs at Liverpool Street
station, but we had none of that here. Maybe London is a happier place
or perhaps the only place to ever pay attention to the dysfunctional
United Nation's decrees.
When the United Nations is supposed to be solving world problems they are often creating those kinds of days. It's hard to believe but he U.N. already has 120 days earmarked to observe everything from jazz to rural women. Alas! Forget wars, famine, disease and other world maladies, the United Nations says that "happiness" is a serious 21st-century global issue," I think that this kind of mentality, that happiness is an "issue", is a modern creation. In other times humans believed that happiness or unhappiness were personal perspectives that governments should leave alone.
I wonder what the United Nations could really do to bring happiness to the world. Forget their trying to solve real problems. They never do that. Specifically, the United Nations does not wave a Disney magic wand and declare us happy, instead it appeals to our sense of responsibility and encourages us to work through our current difficulties and not assign undue blame to others. That is, our happiness largely depends on us, our lifestyles, here and now. Isn't that what mom always told us?
If you are going to create a happy day I think you should make us happy, not nag and preach like mom does. I am not sure how we are to "improve our lifestyles". Do we not all have different interpretations of what lifestyles are best, and even about what makes us happy. Hmmmm In my case I thought I was already pretty happy and didn't need a day to be that.. Most of my daily experiences make me happier. But here are a few things that I experience that do not make me happy: cell phone chatter, self absorbed people, reality TV, any modern culture aspect that is trendy, fat guys sitting next to me on my plane rides, stale donuts, running out of toilet paper, getting the smallest piece of cake, looking at my badly shaped nude body after a shower, asparagus. I guess that's a start. The United Nations should work on removing those if they want me to be truly happy.
When the United Nations is supposed to be solving world problems they are often creating those kinds of days. It's hard to believe but he U.N. already has 120 days earmarked to observe everything from jazz to rural women. Alas! Forget wars, famine, disease and other world maladies, the United Nations says that "happiness" is a serious 21st-century global issue," I think that this kind of mentality, that happiness is an "issue", is a modern creation. In other times humans believed that happiness or unhappiness were personal perspectives that governments should leave alone.
I wonder what the United Nations could really do to bring happiness to the world. Forget their trying to solve real problems. They never do that. Specifically, the United Nations does not wave a Disney magic wand and declare us happy, instead it appeals to our sense of responsibility and encourages us to work through our current difficulties and not assign undue blame to others. That is, our happiness largely depends on us, our lifestyles, here and now. Isn't that what mom always told us?
If you are going to create a happy day I think you should make us happy, not nag and preach like mom does. I am not sure how we are to "improve our lifestyles". Do we not all have different interpretations of what lifestyles are best, and even about what makes us happy. Hmmmm In my case I thought I was already pretty happy and didn't need a day to be that.. Most of my daily experiences make me happier. But here are a few things that I experience that do not make me happy: cell phone chatter, self absorbed people, reality TV, any modern culture aspect that is trendy, fat guys sitting next to me on my plane rides, stale donuts, running out of toilet paper, getting the smallest piece of cake, looking at my badly shaped nude body after a shower, asparagus. I guess that's a start. The United Nations should work on removing those if they want me to be truly happy.
Worst Holidays To Celebrate
Now that St. Patrick's Day is over there I think that isn't
any worthy holidays for me for the next seven months. That would be when
Halloween arrives. But until then I will wonder where the holidays are
and why all the good ones seem to fall between the end of October and
Mid March. It just reminds me that all holidays are not treated equally.
For example, who has fun at Ramadan? If you can name that person I
don't want to meet him/her. They probably would call me an infidel.
Holidays should be above solemnity of that sort and should include a
great deal of silliness.
I was thinking about the holidays that I find too dull to celebrate and have a list for you. It's, well, enough to celebrate. Here are my five worst holidays of the year.
* New Year's Eve- This one is beyond understanding. It's a holiday about nothing (an artificial "changing of the calendar" to an new year) in which people get drunk, kill others while driving in that condition and in which a fat guy dresses in a diaper with a banner announcing the new year. Never do so many people try so hard to have fun. Holidays should never be about trying to have fun. Rather, they should be intrinsically fun.
* Valentine's Day- As a card carrying male I have to hate this one. Women get gifts, flowers, candy, a free meal in a nice restaurant, falsely sincere admonitions of why they are loved....and they believe that the largess is from the heart ( but it's really from social pressure, ladies). What do we men get on Valentine's Day? First there is a lighter pocket book after paying for all that stuff. And then it is a lotttttttttttttttt of pressure to actually be sincere about our love for our lady rather than just being the male pig we are and faking it.
*Good Friday- This is the Catholic celebration of a famous murder,. It commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Isn't that bit weird? First, why is it "good friday" if Christ was murdered that day? He sure had a bad day. And what are we supposed to do to celebrate on Good Friday? Or perhaps, it is a holiday to honor mass murderers. I think it unnecessary to have a day for that event. Hannibal Lecture already gets way too much attention from Hollywood.
* Black Friday- This one was created by retailers and is celebrated the day after Thanksgiving. We are supposed to spend our money buying gifts to give at Christmas that are "on sale". From my view, shopping is not a celebration. And the fact is that those sales are not really sales of note. You can buy the same junk even cheaper just a few days before Christmas. Don't those shoppers know they are being tricked into buying. That the U.S. has a holiday for spending money recklessly seems to sum up why we are a materialistic people.
* Groundhog Day- Groundhog Day is celebrated in the U.S. each year on February 2nd. On this day in mid-winter, the groundhog awakens from a long winter's nap, and goes outside of his den to see if he sees his shadow. If he does see the shadow that is supposed to mean there will be a full 6 weeks more of winter. Hmmm How do they get all the groundhogs to agree on the shadow thing? This tradition is big on an otherwise cold and dreary mid-winter's day when there isn't much to do anyway. But why are elevating groundhogs? There is even an official Santa groundhog of sort named Punxsutawney Phil who has even more power than does a Kardashian girl!
Feel free to debunk my reasoning on any or all of the five. You can prove me wrong or just celebrate each a little more to spite me. And may all our future holidays be better than those five
I was thinking about the holidays that I find too dull to celebrate and have a list for you. It's, well, enough to celebrate. Here are my five worst holidays of the year.
* New Year's Eve- This one is beyond understanding. It's a holiday about nothing (an artificial "changing of the calendar" to an new year) in which people get drunk, kill others while driving in that condition and in which a fat guy dresses in a diaper with a banner announcing the new year. Never do so many people try so hard to have fun. Holidays should never be about trying to have fun. Rather, they should be intrinsically fun.
* Valentine's Day- As a card carrying male I have to hate this one. Women get gifts, flowers, candy, a free meal in a nice restaurant, falsely sincere admonitions of why they are loved....and they believe that the largess is from the heart ( but it's really from social pressure, ladies). What do we men get on Valentine's Day? First there is a lighter pocket book after paying for all that stuff. And then it is a lotttttttttttttttt of pressure to actually be sincere about our love for our lady rather than just being the male pig we are and faking it.
*Good Friday- This is the Catholic celebration of a famous murder,. It commemorates the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Isn't that bit weird? First, why is it "good friday" if Christ was murdered that day? He sure had a bad day. And what are we supposed to do to celebrate on Good Friday? Or perhaps, it is a holiday to honor mass murderers. I think it unnecessary to have a day for that event. Hannibal Lecture already gets way too much attention from Hollywood.
* Black Friday- This one was created by retailers and is celebrated the day after Thanksgiving. We are supposed to spend our money buying gifts to give at Christmas that are "on sale". From my view, shopping is not a celebration. And the fact is that those sales are not really sales of note. You can buy the same junk even cheaper just a few days before Christmas. Don't those shoppers know they are being tricked into buying. That the U.S. has a holiday for spending money recklessly seems to sum up why we are a materialistic people.
* Groundhog Day- Groundhog Day is celebrated in the U.S. each year on February 2nd. On this day in mid-winter, the groundhog awakens from a long winter's nap, and goes outside of his den to see if he sees his shadow. If he does see the shadow that is supposed to mean there will be a full 6 weeks more of winter. Hmmm How do they get all the groundhogs to agree on the shadow thing? This tradition is big on an otherwise cold and dreary mid-winter's day when there isn't much to do anyway. But why are elevating groundhogs? There is even an official Santa groundhog of sort named Punxsutawney Phil who has even more power than does a Kardashian girl!
Feel free to debunk my reasoning on any or all of the five. You can prove me wrong or just celebrate each a little more to spite me. And may all our future holidays be better than those five
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Old School
I wish more young people would see the value of being "Old
School". Uh,
old school refers to the in which people used to relate to each other
with manners rather than with expediency (as in tweets and messaging
instead of face to face communication). I know that I am old school
because it is the university I grew up attending, and that today's
manner less culture is a whole different kind of institution. But I
believe that etiquette which shows respect for others is a kinder,
gentler, nicer, better way in which to live life. So I have tried to
emphasize to my daughter that old school has its advantages, and I
think she understands and is old school too.
Writing formal thank you notes, walking from an auto to the front door and knocking instead of honking the auto horn, not using a phone in public, holding open a door for anyone who needs assistance because he or she is carrying a bag of groceries, smiling and saying hello when crossing the path of strangers, and deferring to the driver at an opposite street intersection when both cars are stopped area few od the old school behaviors I see with less and less frequency among both old school and new school people. It's a shame.
I understand that old school coincides with being old fashioned, but I like it because I have lived in both the old and new eras and see that the former was a far more enjoyable one in which to be when relating to and with others. I do understand that modern technologies tends to make it easier to not be old school, and that cultures do evolve (or devolve, as in this case) over time. But perhaps being old school might spark a desire in others to give it a try. Parents can teach old school behavior, but only by modeling it with their own actions, and that is something modern humans seem less likely to do.
I wonder if others feel as I do. Do you think society that we create in our dealings with others is kinder today? Am I just old fashioned and out of touch? What do you think?
Writing formal thank you notes, walking from an auto to the front door and knocking instead of honking the auto horn, not using a phone in public, holding open a door for anyone who needs assistance because he or she is carrying a bag of groceries, smiling and saying hello when crossing the path of strangers, and deferring to the driver at an opposite street intersection when both cars are stopped area few od the old school behaviors I see with less and less frequency among both old school and new school people. It's a shame.
I understand that old school coincides with being old fashioned, but I like it because I have lived in both the old and new eras and see that the former was a far more enjoyable one in which to be when relating to and with others. I do understand that modern technologies tends to make it easier to not be old school, and that cultures do evolve (or devolve, as in this case) over time. But perhaps being old school might spark a desire in others to give it a try. Parents can teach old school behavior, but only by modeling it with their own actions, and that is something modern humans seem less likely to do.
I wonder if others feel as I do. Do you think society that we create in our dealings with others is kinder today? Am I just old fashioned and out of touch? What do you think?
Napping Day
You probably missed it, so I'll make you feel stupid
because you are
too tired and weary to know what important days the world celebrates.
It's 'Napping Day'. The day after Daylight Savings time goes into
effect is the International Napping Day celebration where you are
allowed to fall asleep at your computer terminal or snore in front of
the TV set without anyone calling you a lazy bum. This Napping Day
thing started in 1999 and has not yet to become old and tired. Thanks
for what brought it about should be given to the worst idea of the
century, Daylight Savings Time. That's the day in which we all turn our
clocks back to make more daylight for our waking hours. Napping Day is
supposed to help you adjust to Daylight Savings Time. But I think a
better way to adjust to Daylight Savings Time is to do away with DST
altogether.
I dislike Daylight Savings Time and think we can find enough good in darkness to not have to change darkness into light. I know Dracula would agree with that sentiment. But advocating for more naps is a wholly good idea apart from any Napping Day, particularly for one like me who is sleep deprived. I nap every day. Even 30 minutes does the body well. I know you are thinking, "You mean he would be even worse without his nap!" Well, research says that naps boost alertness, increase creativity (ok I admit, after reading this you can tell I need a long nap), boosts productivity, improves learning and memory and makes the spirit more positive.
A survey by the National Sleep Foundation found that 63 percent of Americans do not get enough sleep. One in five respondents admitted being so sleepy during the day that it interfered with their activities at least a few days a week. I used to tell my teachers that very fact when they so rudely awakened me in class by throwing those chalk erasers at me. I admit that may have crossed the line by snoring when the English teacher conjugated verbs, so I hold no grudges against them. But despite my chalky appearance after she connected on her target I am certain I gained more from the nap than from her lectures on dangling participles.
Some pretty prominent types support my view that we should nap, not just on Napping Day but every other day too. Ovid once wrote that, "There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of a briefest, than in all the alcohol every distilled". Hmmm I fear the drunks won't agree... Even my mom had a wisecrack she told me when I waxed about what I wanted to do in life. She used to say, "You want to follow your dreams. Just shut up and take a nap."
We adults make toddlers take naps every day (sometimes so we can relax enough to take our own nap). Just think how happy workers would be if the boss set up cots for naps every day. Since most employees in most offices sleep at their computer terminals anyway, it would be better to give them a cot on which to do it. Are you feeling sleepy? Even if my boring tirade about napping hasn't induced a coma in you, go for it and take a a nap to celebrate Napping Day.
I dislike Daylight Savings Time and think we can find enough good in darkness to not have to change darkness into light. I know Dracula would agree with that sentiment. But advocating for more naps is a wholly good idea apart from any Napping Day, particularly for one like me who is sleep deprived. I nap every day. Even 30 minutes does the body well. I know you are thinking, "You mean he would be even worse without his nap!" Well, research says that naps boost alertness, increase creativity (ok I admit, after reading this you can tell I need a long nap), boosts productivity, improves learning and memory and makes the spirit more positive.
A survey by the National Sleep Foundation found that 63 percent of Americans do not get enough sleep. One in five respondents admitted being so sleepy during the day that it interfered with their activities at least a few days a week. I used to tell my teachers that very fact when they so rudely awakened me in class by throwing those chalk erasers at me. I admit that may have crossed the line by snoring when the English teacher conjugated verbs, so I hold no grudges against them. But despite my chalky appearance after she connected on her target I am certain I gained more from the nap than from her lectures on dangling participles.
Some pretty prominent types support my view that we should nap, not just on Napping Day but every other day too. Ovid once wrote that, "There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of a briefest, than in all the alcohol every distilled". Hmmm I fear the drunks won't agree... Even my mom had a wisecrack she told me when I waxed about what I wanted to do in life. She used to say, "You want to follow your dreams. Just shut up and take a nap."
We adults make toddlers take naps every day (sometimes so we can relax enough to take our own nap). Just think how happy workers would be if the boss set up cots for naps every day. Since most employees in most offices sleep at their computer terminals anyway, it would be better to give them a cot on which to do it. Are you feeling sleepy? Even if my boring tirade about napping hasn't induced a coma in you, go for it and take a a nap to celebrate Napping Day.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Papal Election Oddities
Watching the drama of the announcement of the
new pope after the "white
smoke" release from the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican that says a new
pope has been chosen was interesting to one like me who loves
tradition. I can think of nothing more traditional than the behavior of
the Catholic Church, which keeps its rituals as true to the past as is
possible, partly because some of those traditions seem weird today..
The crowds who had gathered in the Vatican Square to await the
announcement of and appearance of the new pope were cheering and in a
frenzy as like that at a sporting event, waving flags and chanting in a
display far more alive than any actual church service that will follow
during the reign of this new pope will be. It seems it takes tradition
to liven the faithful in matters of the Catholic Church.
The Catholic Church is secretive and can appear odd at times. Take the papal section process itself as an example. Sedia Stecorana, the pierced chair has been used since medieval time because any candidate chosen by the cardinals to be the new pope had to sit in that chair with he open bottom space while one of the cardinals reached through the hole and fondled his testicles to prove he was a male. Uh, the examining cardinal who fondled the new pope supposedly called out to the other cardinals, "He has two balls, and they are well hung." Hmmmm Then they molested the pope, and now they just molest the altar boys. Let's hope the new pope wasn't subjected to that quaint squeeze test tradition.
But since Pope John VIII (later ridiculed as "Pope Joan") was elected in 855 and later discovered by the woman hating Catholics to be a woman (after being chosen and reigning for two years she gave birth to a child and was beaten, dragged into the streets and stoned to death on finding out about her deception) it might not be a bad idea to still do an eye ball test when electing a new pope. Who knows? Maybe in the super secretive church it still is the procedure. With all the sex scandals among the clergy I am sure there would be plenty of volunteers to squeeze.
The former Pope, Benedict, is grateful he is still alive and not being replaced as pope because of death. That's because of another weird tradition of the Catholic Church used in selecting a new pope. It seems that by traditional ritual the old pope had to be certified dead before the new one had his balls checked. To do it they used a tried and true method- they hit the supposed dead pope on the head with the "silver hammer" three times to see if there is a response. I suspect they got plenty of response when checking the new pope's balls. The Romans still say about the silver hammer, "There is nothing so dead as a dead pope".
May the new pope enjoy the ball test and avoid the silver hammer for many years to come....
The Catholic Church is secretive and can appear odd at times. Take the papal section process itself as an example. Sedia Stecorana, the pierced chair has been used since medieval time because any candidate chosen by the cardinals to be the new pope had to sit in that chair with he open bottom space while one of the cardinals reached through the hole and fondled his testicles to prove he was a male. Uh, the examining cardinal who fondled the new pope supposedly called out to the other cardinals, "He has two balls, and they are well hung." Hmmmm Then they molested the pope, and now they just molest the altar boys. Let's hope the new pope wasn't subjected to that quaint squeeze test tradition.
But since Pope John VIII (later ridiculed as "Pope Joan") was elected in 855 and later discovered by the woman hating Catholics to be a woman (after being chosen and reigning for two years she gave birth to a child and was beaten, dragged into the streets and stoned to death on finding out about her deception) it might not be a bad idea to still do an eye ball test when electing a new pope. Who knows? Maybe in the super secretive church it still is the procedure. With all the sex scandals among the clergy I am sure there would be plenty of volunteers to squeeze.
The former Pope, Benedict, is grateful he is still alive and not being replaced as pope because of death. That's because of another weird tradition of the Catholic Church used in selecting a new pope. It seems that by traditional ritual the old pope had to be certified dead before the new one had his balls checked. To do it they used a tried and true method- they hit the supposed dead pope on the head with the "silver hammer" three times to see if there is a response. I suspect they got plenty of response when checking the new pope's balls. The Romans still say about the silver hammer, "There is nothing so dead as a dead pope".
May the new pope enjoy the ball test and avoid the silver hammer for many years to come....
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