Demanding Prisoners

Did you hear about the eleven inmates in the Westchester County jail in New York? They filed a federal civil rights lawsuit saying that they are losing their teeth and suffering pain because they aren't allowed dental floss. Haha Thugs in prison demanding dental floss as a "constitutional right". They are asking for $500 million dollars of damages because even though they brush three times a day, tongue and gums included, they still get cavities and suffer bleeding gums, constant dental work for temporary fillings, and mental anguish. The suit says that when cavities develop, inmates are given only temporary fillings, which eventually fall out and lead to tooth loss or chronic pain. Inmates are denied crowns and root canals, it says.

Hmmmm Instead of knocking other people's teeth out while committing their crimes, the prisoners want to keep all teeth in mouths. But the prison says it can't give them floss because the floss can be used as a weapon, but they may try to find an alternative to floss that is safe. I wonder if floss is really so crucial as they claim. In some prisons the inmates have used dental floss and abrasives (including tooth powders) for cutting up prison bars to make 'shank' weapons out of metal bed frames. Maybe they could feed them a liquid diet as an alternative. Haha

If this suit is a successful maybe the inmates could sue for a few more things that are part of their "constitutional " rights. How about?

1) guns to shoot the mice (and anyone else) that they see in their cells
2) steak and lobster for dinner so they won't be protein deficient
3) cigarettes and lighters to help them relax their mental state
4) personal TV's in each cell in order see the latest porno channels to educate the inmate about safe sex
5) maids to clean the cells so that dust won't clog the inmate's lungs
6) personal masseuses to tone the muscles of the inmate so he will be crime ready when released
7) weekend passes into town, particularly to banks, so the inmates can better integrate into society on release

Uh, I think that if the floss and these other demands are met I will apply for a room at that Westchester prison...

Thank Goodness For Autumn

While at a grocery store today I saw the first bins of Halloween pumpkins teeming with round orange delights, a sign that one of my favorite times of the year is lurking. In recent days I have seen other signs that autumn too. The rumble of school buses in the morning and afternoon and the look of the trees, ironically, looking more alive in red, orange and yellow than when in green. The early morning cold settled in a couple of weeks ago, just as it does every mid September here. No matter how warm the day may be now, each morning starts with some shivers as I retrieve my daily newspaper from the dark lawn outside my front door.

I think I love the fall so much because of the rituals I practice each time it comes to me. Buying that pumpkin today, for example, alerts me that it will soon be time to make or buy pumpkin desserts to nourish the newly born autumn days. My mother was a practitioner of holiday/season worship. The decor of her home always fit the season, and I have learned to enjoy the same ritual of decorating today, even the crazy part that includes placing candy corn in a dish to provide fall nourishment to anyone who passes by. Though with Jane gone now I have less excuse to dress the house with autumn decorations, I still do it for myself and for the warm memories it will provoke in me of my childhood autumn days.

I already bought some Halloween candy and treats for the kids who will demand them while trick-or-treating on Halloween night. The Halloween decorations, costumes, and foods all about in stores now make it hard not to do so. And even those garish commercial establishments like Starbucks give a fall nudge to me. Every September or October, while in a seemingly hypnotic state, I indulge in a Starbuck's Pumpkin latte to remind me of the glories of the season. And I have to find a good pumpkin muffin at a bakery too. Can't brew my pumpkin coffee without one of those.

Kids are even more aglow than usual at autumn. I am not sure why because they also have the dreaded look of "do I have to go to school today" on their faces? I do remember the fall activities of my own youth and they verify what an author once wrote. He said that as long as we have memories we never get old. I feel sad for any adult who doesn't get excited by a holiday or doesn't have warm childhood memories of those days. Don't they realize that we adults have permission to be children again at Halloween time? We can run through a corn maze, crave a pumpkin, eat a candy apple, wear a silly costume and even upstage the children while doing it.

I wish you a happy autumn, and hope you allow yourself the joy of being a child again this fall.

First Names

Someone I met for the first time yesterday asked me if I wanted to be called 'James' or 'Jim'. English language first names are quite adaptive, probably because we Americans are an informal people. Though my formal name is James, my most commonly used adult name is Jim and my childhood name was 'Jimmy'. Well, actually, some people still call me Jimmy, and others prefer either James or Jim. It matters not to me what they call me, but I think it would be helpful to stick to one of those (and 'Jim' is most often used, so I'll go for that). When they start calling me all three I know it must be be proof that I am schizophrenic.

A problem with finding and sticking to one English language first name is that some people don't fit either the formal or informal versions of their first name.  No one, for instance. would call the late author Ernest Hemingway, "Ernie".  It doesn't fit because it doesn't sound intellectual enough.  But comic Chris Rock probably would not seem so funny if we called him 'Christopher' Rock. It sounds like the name of a scientist or surgeon.  Just think if Donald Trump were known as 'Donnie' Trump. It would make him seem more like a pro boxer rather than a....err...whatever that guy is. And who would want to go to 'Walter' Disney World'. It wouldn't be the same place.

Then there are people who need a middle name or initials to go with their first name in order for their image to be complete. T.S. Eliot, H.G. Wells, Martin Luther King,  Ralph Waldo Emerson, for example, would be unrecognizable if  they were known as Thomas Eliot, Herbert Wells,  Martin King or Ralph Emerson. Others create an image by dropping their given first name altogether and substituting something singular. 'Whoppi Goldberg', 'Snoop Dog',  and 'Lady Gaga' come to mind.

Then there are people who hate their names so much they call themselves by one entirely different and new name. 'Cher' and 'Madonna', and 'Bono' are a few we all know well. But then, some celebrities are so proud of their given first names they use it exclusively. We would have a hard time recalling the last names of those single named people. 'Beyonce' , 'Kobe' 'Prince' and 'Shaq' are a few of those.

I like to give people nicknames, and most of them like it too. Sometimes we get a nickname and it sticks to us for life. Nicknames give us a special position in the world, make us distinct. Even when the nicknames are less than flattering, they eventually become endearing. How about 'Magic' Johnson, 'Meatloaf' (Marvin Aday), 'Mr. T' (Lawrence Tero), 'Queen Latifa' and 'Sting' (Gordon Sumner)?  Uh, if you have any nicknames for me I request that you make it civil. No vulgarity, please.

Hateful Muslim Protests

It's interesting to see those crazy Muslim factions rioting and carrying out tantrums again against the U.S. Israel and some other western nations that dare to practice freedom of expressions...err..freedom of anything. Many clerics in their mosque sermons in the Mideast are urging their congregations to "defend their faith", by denouncing the obscure movie that an American citizen posted on  line, 'Innocence of Muslims'  that denigrated the Islamic image of Muhammad. What a crock it all is.

It's the same perverted Islamic mentality that calls Americans "devils", that shouts "death to America" and that promotes and practices violence against non Muslims simply because they are "infidels" rather than Muslims. In fact, that film has nothing to do with the alleged outrage of extremists. It's simply an excuse and a vehicle that allows extremist, fundamentalist and terrorist Muslim organizations to more easily take over the governments in those recently liberated dictatorial Arab nations. Fact is, there is a vacuum in the governments in many of the 20 or more countries with angry, illiterate, unemployed, desperate Muslims who are rioting against weak their newly weakened Muslim states. By using that movie as an excuse,  it is helping the crazy factions move closer to taking control of the legal governments in some those nations.

What's different about these riots than some of the more recent ones is that there is not now a dictator head of state or string government in the countries. In the past such riots were stifled by the legitimate government organizations, who put them down quickly and often violently. Now, in their weakened and with the military undecided about what to do, there may be an end to the democratic movements of last spring in some of the Arab states and replacement of them with Iranian style theocratic dictatorships. Al-Qaida has already called for more attacks on U.S. embassies  to "set the fires blazing". Further, it said that, "What has happened is a great event, and these efforts should come together in one goal, which is to expel the embassies of America from the lands of the Muslims."

Perhaps the west should explain to Muslim nations in clear terms, accompanied by a new policy of no more western money for any Arab state that violates the rights of a foreign embassy on Muslim territory, that Muslims must respect the rights of non Muslims. If I were the President of the U.S. I would, for instance, immediately issue a formal and public statement to Egypt that there would be no more foreign aid from the U.S. (Egypt receives more than $2 billion dollars each year from the U.S., the highest amount given to any nation) until the perpetrators of the Embassy attack were arrested and tried, and until guarantees were made that Egyptian police would not simply stand and watch the "protesters' act out, but instead would protect the American Embassy per the agreements all nations make with each other to do so.

To the crazy Arabs in the region I would state clearly that, "The American democratic system embraces freedom of expression. This includes criticizing your religious head or any other. As a sovereign and free nation we do not censor our citizens to mollify your desires, nor do we suspend constitutional rights when your feelings are hurt by our free expression." Allah Akbar to that.

Cursing The Neighbors

Everybody is destined to have a bad neighbor or two. If you live long enough that loud, inconsiderate, rude neighbor will show up in your driveway or on your lawn. I suspect there is little one can do to change that kind of lout. But one woman in Rhode Island had a unique way of getting back at the kind of neighbor who drives his truck over your flower bed or changes the oil in his truck on your sidewalk. She is accused of training her cockatoo to cuss at her neighbors, thus violating an animal noise ordinance that covers human vulgarity but says nothing about birds cursing out obnoxious neighbors.

Lynne Taylor is accused of training the bird, Willy, to utter expletives at the hated next door neighbors, who just happen to be Lynne's ex-husband and his girlfriend. The neighbors, Kathleen Melker and Craig Fontaine, say they have been subjected to repeated curses from the bird, at one point for 15 minutes at a time. Katherine says cockatoo Willy calls her a "whore". Hmmm How does Kathleen know the bird is talking to her? I mean, if she weren't a whore she wouldn't.... never mind. But given that Kathleen is the lady who stole away Lynn's husband Craig, that bird Willy may be smarter than most humans.

And now the local court will have to determine if the bird's mouth is an extension of Lynn's. Until it does, the judge has issued a restraining order to keep the bird and Lynn separate from the neighbors she hates, which makes me wonder if the cursing bird also hurls profanity at it's teacher (Lynn). I wonder if that judge will make the bird testify at the trial. If so, it could be a dirty day in court for everyone.

To Tax Or Not To Tax Lap Dancing

You know how so many say that dance is a high art form? It surely is. But what about lap dances? Hmmmmm As a male I dare not give an opinion, since we males think anything on a woman that jiggles and is sexy is at least a borderline art movement. Anyway, why I bring this subject up has to do with a legal issue that concerns defining lap dances. Is it equal to other dance forms or not? And if it is, should governments give tax exemptions to bars that offer lap dances?

No one would confuse a strip club with the Bolshoi Ballet, but according to a lawyer in New York state, what the lap dancers do there is art and therefore, the strip clubs are entitled to the same tax exemption other performances enjoy. The lawyer, W. Andrew McCullough, who is an attorney for an Albany, New York strip joint, told the New York State of Court of Appeals on Wednesday that admission fees and lap dances at the club should be freed of state sales taxes under an exemption that applies to "dramatic or musical arts performances." Well....I surely would rather have a lap dance done to me than a ballet performance.

Further, the lawyer suing for the strip club to get lap dance tax breaks says that the the state of New York is not qualified to make distinctions between lap dancing (no tax breaks at present) and other dance forms (they all get the tax breaks). His claim is that to deny lap dancing is art would be a violation of the constitutional right to freedom of expression. But then, the lasts time I looked it took a lot more training and skill to do the other dance forms that to lap dance.

The lawyer for the state that wants the judge to deny tax breaks for lappers says that nobody would visit the strip club if the dancers didn't remove their clothes. He also argued that the exemption applies to "choreographed" performances, and what the strippers do when lap dancing doesn't qualify as art. Hmmmm Maybe they should just tax the ballet and the other untaxed dancing performances. I'm sure all the lawyers and the judge wouldn't mind a nice lap dance to celebrate that compromise.

To Treat Or To Surrender

One of my longest term E mail friends (who I have been writing to since 1998) just wrote that her father had died. He had been sick with a serious cancer for more than a year, and I knew his prognosis would lead to an early death. But she fought the disease with him for all that time, trying nearly every treatment in hospitals with doctors and non standard treatment venues with non certified physicians, both standard and herbal. I never fully understood it all when she wrote to me about them. And I often asked myself, "Why does one pursue such expensive and painful treatments when they have such a slight chance of even extending a dying person's even a few more months?"

The business of cancer treatment is a curious one, built on false hopes and promises. There are a multitude of super expensive drugs that dying patients rush to pay for. But almost all of them do no more than ensure the patient an even shorter life or more painful death (from the treatments themselves). Often the most successful medicines extend a life for a few months, ensuring the patient dies with a mountain of debt and no no inheritance to pass to loved ones. But hope does spring eternal in many. Perhaps human nature more often compels one to fight even when odds tell the futility and pain of the fight.

Since I have not been afflicted with a terminal cancer, I can not state with surety that I would do otherwise and accept death. but my experience with terminal cancers in my own family has instructed me it is most often foolish to "take the treatment" and that exiting without a fight my be more comforting to the mind and the body than tortuous pseudo treatments. But I think that if I were afflicted would not fight against large odds.

Sometimes the patient has no option and has the treatment or no treatment question answered for him or her. A young dying parent for instance, feels obliged to fight in order to be with his or her child. And then some of us are deluded when faced with death into denying our own mortality. They fight because they never accept death from a cancer as a real possibility. This age of almost medical miracles in which medicine can do some things, but far too few to save us from the disease, has also given us the great dilemma of trying to determine when to fight and when to surrender, when to accept and when to deny. Sigh... for the mind the treatment really can be more deadly than the affliction.