Ugly Christmas Sweaters

The ugly Christmas sweater trend is flying high now. Those of us who love or hate the ugly sweater fashion of December should be prepared for a lot of ugly holiday sweaters if flying Alaska Airlines on Dec. 15. Alaska Air  has declared December 15 to be its National Ugly Holiday Sweater Day celebration. On that day its offering early boarding to customers wearing “festive holiday sweaters.” It's a one day chance to show your lack of good taste for Christmas as the one day promotion will be offered on the entire Alaska Air network, including flights operated by Virgin America and Horizon Air.

Alaska announced the promotion as, “This fun promotion not only allows guests to board early on that day, but gives people another opportunity to dust off that ugly holiday sweater hanging in the back of their closet.” I have some ugly Christmas T shirts but no sweaters, given that I am not a sweater wearer. I wear my ugly Christmas T shirts selectively as they engender a broad response, including threats of bodily harm for the wearer.

If you wonder who wore the ugliest Christmas sweater on an Alaska Air flight you can see posts from the wearers on Face book. Alaska is posting them there. But Alaska s not the only airline that loves ugly Christmas sweaters. The craze has spread to Europe as well. Dutch airline KLM has a web site that sells its own version of the ugly Christmas sweater. (https://shop.klm.com/nl_nl/klm-christmas-jumper-l.htmlad ) Believe it or not, those uglies appear to have been so popular that the carrier is now out of stock in all sizes.

I am not sure when the ugly Christmas sweater mania started, but it was in response to some brave souls, often as a joke, wearing them at parties or cookie exchanges. Now department stores are filled with them, Wal mart sells them and thrift stores this time of the year have many for those who want to recycle the ugly side of Christmas. Be brave, get one, put it on and run for your life when an angry mob tries to assault you for your brazenness!

Male Buns

What's all the bun fashion for men these days. I am seeing more and more men wearing their hair in a bun and it seems weird to me. Unless you are a Samurai warrior always view a man bun  as looking effeminate. Some dermatologists also say when a male puts his hair in a bun he stresses the front of the scalp that leads to baldness. I wonder if women like male buns? They are quiet on the subject most of the time. Anyway, I was curious about the male bun and decided to research when they first appeared in society. Here's what I found.

Records show we can blame the Maori, indigenous Polynesian people, of New Zealand. for the bun. I have meet a few Maori people and always enjoyed their company. They are nice people, but they do have to wear a bun badge of shame for starting the male bun thing. It seems that around 1300 AD  Maori men of a certain high status would wear a tikitiki, or what's equivalent to a modern day topknot.

Shortly later Korea got bun fever. During the Joseon Dynasty in Korea around 1400 AD, married men in Korea put their hair in a sangtu, a knot at the top of their heads. The idea was not fashion, but to keep their hair from falling. Hats were specifically made with space for their buns. I wonder if that crazy North Korean Dictator, Kim Jong Il, will adopt a bun to further demonstrate his odd behavior. He's the nut that keeps threatening countries with nuclear holocaust. Gee, is there anything worse than being nuked by a guy who wears a bun?

Beginning in the 1600's the Samurai buns appeared. In Japan, during the Edo Period, the traditional haircut was called the chonmage, which meant the top of the head was nearly all shaven except for a cluster of hair tied up in a knot. Originally, Samurai used this hairstyle to keep their helmet in place. In my view guys with swords that they use to decapitate other guys can wear a bun any time they want. I'm going to keep my head and not make any  smart aleck remarks about their buns. But most of the male bun wearers I see today look weird, not menacing.

Fast forward to that irritating Leonardo DiCapario fellow, the actor who thinks he is an authority on all the idiotic P.C. issues only imbeciles worry about. DiCapario wore that style in a movie, and then adopted it personally. That lead to other actors and celebs copying his style, and today we have non celebrity buns in restaurants, grocery stores and just about anywhere civilized people gather. What we need today is to resurrect a few Samurai bun guys so they can thin out that population....

All That Glitters Is Not Gold

If you think the global warming hysteria is a bit of a stretch, hold on to your seat when I inform you of the latest leftist environmental fear. It's glitter. You know, the glitter kids like to color with. Glitter,  commonly used in arts and crafts, is comprised of small plastic particles.  Now some scientists argue the particles get into the ocean and the environment where animals eat it. But then, most scientists are not yet on board of the "Glitter will kill us all" train. One English professor, Richard Thompson, did a study and discovered a third of fish caught in the United Kingdom contained plastic particles. Dr. Trisia Farrelly, a scientist at New Zealand’s Massey University, said glitter should be banned because it was a microplastic.

I think banning glitter would be a pretty easy thing to do. It's not like fossil fuels, something that is essential for man's survival but I wonder if the glitter is evil scenario has been created to shift attention away from the fossil fuel is evil nonsense. Erring on the side of caution and banning glitter would not cause any harm to humans. Too, when an extremist, unproved idea is empty ("It's global warming and we're all going to die"!) it is often easier to jettison or downplay it by shifting to a new subject .

The scientists who fear glitter say that micro beads, a tiny piece of plastic that were common in beauty products, were the biggest culprit for polluting the environment. The  particles easily get into water filtration systems where they wind up in oceans and lakes. Fish and other marine life consume them and pass it on to us when we consume them. And as we know when the climate nuts scream for their cause and start accusing non believers of being "climate deniers" there is a PC reaction to the claims.

Some British nurseries have banned using glitter in its establishments due to the “terrible damage” the arts supplies does to the environment, and seven states in the U.S. have banned using micro beads in beauty and health products. Wow! Don't tell Taylor Swift. It might ruin her whole act.

Christmas In New Orleans

I was reminded by reading online my former hometown New Orleans Times Picayune newspaper why Christmas here in Portland seems to be a little less active place. The traditions of an old city with a unique demographics and a diverse background produce many interesting variations. It's why most New Orleans not only do not consider their city to be a "southern city", but not even a city in the United States. The culture, though mostly typically American, there is too different not to notice those differences. They make New Orleans the most singular of American cities.

Having written that, there are quite a few Christmas time differences about New Orleans. First, in South Louisiana,  on Christmas Eve they set stacks of wood on fire along the levees of the Mississippi River to light the way for Papa Noel (Santa Claus).  Cajun traditions at Christmas include a Christmas bonfire, huge stacks of lumber set fire along the banks of the Mississippi River so Santa can see where to deposit those presents. There are few New Orleanians who haven't participated in or watched on of those.

Then there is the famous 'Night Before Christmas' poem we all know... but New Orleanians tell it in a different way, in Louisiana Cajun French style. Alligator Gaston is Rudoph and the dialogue is typically Louisianian. Ah, it's too hard to explain. Listen to it yourself at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1RqHHbpx1A That's the Cajun twist to New Orleans Christmas, but there are more differences between Christmas anywhere else in the U.S. and Christmas in New Orleans.

Then there is the Christmas parade. New Orleans has many and they fit anyone's idea of what parade should be. In New Orleans, they throw beads, food and toys and other things at their parades, Mardi Gras or not. So if Santa doesn't make it to your house you can get a few gifts from the costumed parade goes on the Christmas parade floats. Those parades range from Disney innocent to the typical French Quarter adult raunchy or satirical version.  You might see Ms. Claus dressed in  less than red and white. I suspect if Santa ever came across a New Orleans Christmas parade he would never finish his toy deliveries for the holiday. They are too much fun to leave.

Other cities don't seem to know how to dispose or recycle their Christmas trees after the holiday is over and they are placed on curbs in front of houses in neighborhoods in the city. New Orleans is very specific in recycling their trees. Every year, to battle coastal erosion, the residents strip their trees of all decorations and on designated pick up days set our trees out on the curb for pickup to be delivered to special Santa's helpers who dump them in the marshes and swamps.  Placing bundled trees in swamps, marsh and other coastal waterways has been an incredible benefit in stopping the loss of land to water, given water surrounds everything in Lousiana. Many miles of coastline have been rebuilt because of the sediment the trees catch and hold where they are placed.

Food is the heartbeat of New Orleans and Se. Louisiana. There may not be better food anywhere in the United States than what is there, all year round there. So, leave it to the locals to have come up with the Christmas Day dinner entree calls Turducken. It's caught on so that turducken shows up in a lot of places across the U.S.  What is a turducken. It's stuffing a chicken into a duck into a turkey, with layers of various stuffing in between....rice stuffing bread stuffing, seafood stuffing, spicy and mild stuffing. As they say in Louisiana, it tastes so good it will make you slap your momma!  I could go on to write about all the Christmas food inventions of New Orleans, but doing so will only make me miss eating them too much.

But the best part of New Orleans Christmas food tradition  is dished out each December, as some of the city's most renowned restaurants roll out Reveillon menus inspired by the 19th-century Creole Christmas tradition. In the city's past Creole families would start celebrating Christmas Day in the early morning hours with lavish feasts to break what was a traditional day of fasting on Christmas eve. Instead of feasting just on Christmas morning. They still do it. If you are curious about what kinds of food those restaurants serve in December  Reveillon dinners check this site for details  http://www.frenchquarter.com/reveillon-dinners/

New Orleans is know for its endless supply of alcohol. Since Papa Noel gets a snootfull himself from time to time imbibing Christmas themed alcoholic drunks is the norm. Two examples is the eggnog daiquiri and bourbon milk punch. Who needs eggnog when you have that.  Nothing says Christmas like eggnog you can get from a daiquiri drive through windows, that is. Yep! New Orleans vendors legally sells daiquiri's to people operating their automobile via drive through daiquiri stores. I've never ahd the frozen Bourbon Punch, so you can try it for me if ever in that city.

Maybe I should just let Louis Armstrong tell you about Christmas time in New Orleans. He'll sing it to you in his great tune 'Christmas in New Orleans'. Listen and you'll understand what it means to be in New Orleans at  Christmas time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZ-xfh75cMM

December Babies Are Special

Wow! I just read in the Internet (ergo, it must be true) that because I was a December baby I am special. It said that December babies are the special ones and even stated that "science" says so. Hmmm Science also has given us some sketchy theories, the Global Warming one is probably the best example. Nonetheless, I am hereby certifying myself as special, and will cite the reasons the article says so, in case you have doubts. You probably have some doubts, and I am not sure what they mean by "special". Special can be either good or bad.

Don't ask me for any sources for this declaration of December specialty. I have none. The Internet is supposed to be a source onto itself as long as you believe whatever is being shoveled there. Since I am special the December birthday theory is one I like. If the article said December birthday people were serial killers or Hillary Clinton supporters I would deny the whole theory. Anyway, the first reason I am special because of my December birth is because December births are more rare and December births on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day are the rarest of all. Rare equals special in this case.

Secondly, December babies (and hence, December grownups) are supposed to be less irritable. Heaven knows I never get irritated and rant here. That itself is proof of number two.  But a study presented at the European College of Neuropsychopharmacology asked 366 university students about their temperaments. The findings were that those born in summer tended to be moody. But the winter born, were steady. In particular,  throughout their life spans December born people were found to have far fewer temper tantrums. If you don't believe this I will slap you!
 
Another reason I am....err...December babies are special is that they have a much lower incidence of major diseases than you horrible non Decembers! (a small tantrum I confess, but my tantrum does not nullify reason two above). Researchers at the Columbia University Department of Medicine looked at records for 1.75 million patients born between 1900 and 2000 who were treated at the medical center. They looked at 1,668 diseases and birth months and other factors, such as exercise and diet and found we superior December babies are not sickly like you!

Reason five is bad news for you who read my clap trap. Babies born the last month of the year are more likely to live the longest o all. The Journal of Aging Research said a German study found that December born have a “significantly higher risk of surviving up to age 105 plus compared to the June born.” Just think how lucky you are. I could be ranting here until I am 105 years old.

Finally, the mystery article saying I am better than you because I am a December baby (I am expanding the horizon of the article's message) says that December babies start school earlier and they achieve more in it because of it (luckily my school reports cards are not available for a verification of that idea). The idea is that because the December baby is usually the youngest one in the class in schools in the U.S. , that the December baby is more motivated to try harder to make up for the age difference between itself and the older kids.

There you have it! I suspect you will try to refute this idea of December specialty, maybe remind me that mass murderer Richard Speck, crazy Roman Emperor Nero, and Joseph Stalin were all also December babies. But I have consulted Nostradamus, another December baby, and his predictions claim those three had phony/invalid birth certificates. It's great to be special!

Tis The Season For Rituals

In the United States that period from Thanksgiving until the new year is what I call the ritual season. In a world of constant and rapid change, we settle into a period where we reconnect with the culture's past and our own family or personal traditions. In short, we seek and relish rituals, things that we deride much of the rest of the year. That's why, for example, most Americans crave the over the top Thanksgiving turkey dinner. Turkey is a food that Americans mostly avoid the rest of the year. Yet at Thanksgiving we would feel empty, almost traitorous to out cultural heritage if we ate something else instead.

This phenomenon of a ritual season is not unique to this country. Every country has its own ritual seasons. Is there any bigger one that the Asian New Year ritual season each winter? It seems to be a human need to escape the maddening throw away world in which we now live, and instead seek comfort in tradition and stability. Yet few people reflect on what they are doing when escaping.

Ideally, we should reflect and evaluate whether our cell phone, high tech, informal, sterile world is the best one for us. For some it may be. The young have less of a cultural past and feel more comfort in the new. But those of us caught in the modern world, against our internal clock, at ritual season have the opportunity to escape permanently if we wish. When out of the absorption of modernity we can more clearly see the past and evaluate it unabated, without interference. That's one of the lessons of ritual seasons.

Humans can never live only in the past, but is living only in the cell world also possible? Do those who let technology direct their lives benefit or suffer from their choice. The old person who shakes his or her head at the "modern way" is no different from the younger one who shakes his or her head at tradition. The ritual season should be the time to put one foot in the past and one in the present and future. If or until we do we have grounds to determine what kind of environment is best for our own lives. May all your seasons be the ones most suitable to you

Put that Dog Down!

You may "bite" me for writing abut this news from your country.....These days it's getting harder and harder to find a good dog burger in some parts of Asia. Taiwan has banned the sale and consumption of cat and dog meat, a departure from most Asian country. Hmmmm Maybe Western culture is contaminating Asia to much. There are more than a few people barking at the new Taiwanese pooch policy.

But Taiwan's legislature lifted its leg on those people and amended the Animal Protection Act to stop the eating of Fido. The new amendment imposes steeper fines and lengthier punishments for acts related to animal cruelty. These include a fine of  $1,600 to $8,000 for anyone caught selling or consuming cat and dog meat, or any other products that contain parts of the animals. The Taiwanese government will practice public shaming too by publicize the names and pictures of offenders.

Taiwan's president, Tsai Ing-wen, adopted three retired guide dogs in October  and also has two cats. But dog meat is still popular in places like China, Laos, South Korea, Cambodia, Thailand, the Philippines and even in parts of India. China has a dog eating festival in the Yulin where thousands of dogs are slaughtered annually. But anyone who has been to Shanghai and seen the parade of small dogs, cutely groomed and pampered, knows that China has many dog lovers now. In recent years the Yulin festival has been bombarded with petitions and online campaigns against dog eating as being cruel.
In 2016, Chinese and international animal rights activists presented a petition with 11 million signatures to protest the dog meat festival. Protesters say many of the dogs were either stolen or found astray, crammed in small cages and beaten to death in slaughterhouses. Estimates are that China killed more than 10 million of the roughly 30 million dogs slaughtered every year worldwide, that according to Humane Society International. Four million cats are killed every year in the country. In South Korea, where dogs are farmed for human consumption, about 2 million are kept in about 17,000 facilities, and many are killed by electrocution, according to the organization. The government's attempts to put an end to it have been halfhearted.

But as western culture continues to be popular in Asia using dogs as food  has become  controversial and frowned on there. Dogs as pets are becoming the norm for many middle and upper class Chinese. There's other good news in Asia for Fido.  Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand and Laos struck a deal to stop the trafficking of dogs for their meat. Killing and selling dogs for meat has been banned in the capital, Manila, for more than 30 years.  In the Philippines a nationwide ban on eating dog meat was enacted in 1998. 

Perhaps the ban in Taiwan will be the impetus to make Fido less tasty and more pet friendly. We in the west make distinctions from the chicken, beef, pork and lamb we munch on conscience free, and our pets. Dogs and cats are seen as more human like than as farm food.  That Asia is moving to that same perception shows the power of western culture to "consume" all others these days.