The Vultures Are Swarming

The Vultures are swarming around me. This is my figurative way of saying that the telemarketers who call me by phone and send me mail to buy their oldie products assuming that I am so old that I am near death....or if they are lucky already dead.  Let me look....Hold on....Ok, my mirror says that I am indeed old but still alive. I have to check my mirrors sometimes to be sure because those people keep suggesting I am dead or should be.

What I most object to is their constant mailings trying to seduce me into buying hearing aids of all sorts. They even offer to test my hearing "to find suitable hearing support". My hearing is perfect, probably because as a teen I never belonged to a piercingly loud kid band with guitars that killed the inner ear. They assume that because I am old that my hearing is floundering. It is not.

When one reaches a certain age in this country the mailing list syndrome starts. At that point there is an assumption of failing hearing, the need to buy a burial plot, bad teeth, sexual dysfunction, the heartbreak of psoriasis (whatever that it) and more. The most common maladies an older person gets are the ones those telmarketers assume we all have. But I am a weird person. That means I have only weird health issues. Why don't they put me on the weirdo health list and send me those. I might buy from them if they do.

I don't answer my phone unless I recognize the caller from the caller ID, so avoiding the phone sellers is easy. And, I can toss the hearing aid mailings, and the others into the trash without opening them, but what is harder to ignore is the E mail sales pitches for old age illness and other oldie "needs". It's the bizarre nature of those E mails that aggravate me. The mailing suggesting that at my age it's time to have my breasts lifted is not going to be a win for them. However, if they are clever they might ask me if I want a breast reduction. Many men my age need that.

To Insure Promptness

Tipping is a cultural norm in America. In fact, those who don't tip at a restaurant in this country are seen as abnormal. The word cheapskate might be applied with reason. I always tip about 20% of the restaurant bill because servers are typically paid with low wages and tips. Removing either is unfair to them. Besides, restaurants build the tip into the bill, meaning you pay a fair price for your meal one way or another. By using tips the serve staff will make more money than just with wages.

Tipped workers generally make about $2.13 per hour as base pay and the rest of their salary comes in the form of tips, with many having to split tips with other restaurant staff. That job is the ultimate in produce to earn. Bad servers are tipped less or not at al. Good servers make  more money than they would if employed strictly with wages. Restaurants that have tried to eliminate tipping have abandoned the practice because employees quit in disgust at their much lower take home pay.

So who tips best and worst when dining out in this country? A recent study by Credit Cards.com gives an answer. Their web site teamed up with researchers from Princeton and surveyed hundreds of adults across the U.S., and their study  says that the best tippers, who tip a medium of 20% on each restaurant bill, are 1) men 2) members of the Republican Party  who are more conservative 3) people who live in Northeast United Sates and 4) those who use credit or debit cars to pay their bill. The worst tippers, with a medium tip of 16%, were found to be 1) women 2) members of the Democratic Party who are more liberal 3) people who live in the Southern United States (restaurant costs are much lower there, so it figures their tips would be lower) and 4) those who pay their bill with cash.

The question to ask is why are some groups better tippers than others? It's probably based on income. As in every other money transaction in life, those with the most money part with the most. But most people tip at least 15% of the bill's total. The Emily Post Institute (It's watching if you are behaving, so mind your manners) recommends diners tip at least 15-20% a sit down restaurant. Fast food tipping is not expected and is rare. Surprisingly, 20% of customers at regular restaurants don't leave any tip at all. I wonder if the servers spit in their soup....I won't tell if I find out they do.

Weird Superstitions

 Happy Halloween! Superstitions are imaginative and lasting. They also are fun. This country has more than its share, things like it is dangerous to walk under a ladder. Most of ours are the result of repeating those we inherited from Europe long ago.  In the case of the ladder, for instance, Europeans once believed that the ladder symbolized the gallows where people were hanged.  Or what about the broken mirror and evil eye superstitions we have and everyone else seems to know? Anyway, most superstitions are old and came from outside of this country. Therefore, today I'll give you some of the weird ones from other parts of the world. make sure you have your good luck charm near in case these superstitions are real and infectious.

In Portugal, it's considered bad luck to walk backwards. The common belief is that if you do, you're showing the devil which way you're going. Here walking backwards is considered a sign of stupidity, particularly if you fall in an open man hole cover because you are walking backwards. But in Sweden you have to watch out for manholes. If you step on one with the letter A, this will bring you a broken heart and bad luck. At least they step on closed manhole covers there.

In Italy, if you say the same word as someone in unison, you'll never get married . To undo this, you must immediately touch your nose. Of curse those of us who are divorced might not consider saying the same word in unison as bad luck. But wait! That's not all, In Hungary sitting at the corner of the dinner table also means you'll never get married. Some people in Italy are said to fear Friday the 17th because the Roman numeral XVII can be arranged to make the word "VIXI" which means "my life is over" in Latin. I think they would be wiser to fear marriage as the possible end to life as it should be lived.

In the Netherlands singing your favorite tune means you're singing to the devil for your food. However, if the evil is serving donuts, I'm singing. But in nearby Denmark discussing a private  matters when a cat is in the room is said to be bad idea because cats are believed to be gossipy. In this country we believe discussing anything in front of a CNN reporter is guaranteed to be reported on the cable news network shows erroneously and attributed to Donald Trump.

In Britain, saying "rabbit rabbit" or "white rabbit" on the first day of every month ensures good luck for that month. It's because back in the 7th century people believed rabbits communicated with the spiritual world. Later the rabbits foot for luck replaced this idea. I think one thing is certain, the rabbit whose foot you have was unlucky for losing it that way.  Those crazy Brits are imaginative. Women in Ancient Britain often kept acorns in their pockets to ensure a youthful complexion. If you have ever seen a British beauty contest, where pockets are not on the swimsuits, it explains why the women look mire like acorns than women.

In Spain walking into a room with your left foot will bring you bad luck. For Spaniards it's always better to enter or leave with your right foot. No wonder the Spanish are out of step with the rest of the world.  Also in Spain, instead of kissing someone at midnight to celebrate the New Year, they're encouraged to eat 12 grapes one after the other for good luck. See! I told you the Spanish are weird. People in Spain  also believe that Tuesday the 13th and not Friday the 13th is an unlucky day. I am not going to visit Spain on the 13th, Tuesday or Friday.

In ancient Egypt came the idea that opening an umbrella inside before leaving the premise ensured bad luck. Today men believe that if you carry an umbrella inside at 3 am after sneaking out on your spouse, you will have both bad luck and an umbrella stuck in you butt when she awakens to discover you are sneaking home. Also, owls are said to be unlucky in Egypt, as they bring bad news for the one who happens to see or hear the bird.

In Japan, when walking through a cemetery, you must tuck your thumbs in to protect your parents from death. And this is the most normal thing the Japanese do. They also believe that cutting your nails after the sun goes down can cause premature death. And in Japan unintentionally breaking a bottle is said to lucky. I guess intentionally breaking one  means grandma's china set is out of luck again.

In Turkey,  chewing gum at night is apparently the equivalent of chewing on the flesh of the dead. Wait! Never mind that. The economy is so bad in Turkey some people have to chew on the flesh of the dead to prevent starvation. The Turks also believe that you must never jump over a child. Doing this will curse you to be short. Also, I suspect that anyone who finds it appealing to jump over a child will probably be arrested and confined for psychological evaluation.

If you  kiss a baby in Nigeria, legend says you'll condemn them to spend their entire adult lives drooling. Maybe that's why all the women ran  away when I tried to kiss them. They're secretly Nigerians. And I thought it was just my bad breath.  Also in Africa, in Rwanda, superstition says that women who eat goat meat are likely to grow beards or become stubborn. Well  can any man deny that goat meat or chicken eaten, the last part of that superstition is evidently true.

In Brazil, putting your purse or wallet on the floor means you'll become penniless.  In this country we believe that if you put your purse on the floor it will be stolen and the credit cards inside will be used to access internet porn sites and to buy Star buck's gift cards.

In Ireland and Scotland people believe seeing a single magpie bird is bad luck. But in South Koreans, the bird bringing bad luck is the crow.  But also, many South Koreans also do not sleep with fans running in closed rooms because they claim that if they do, it's a death sentence.  To combat that "fan death," Korean legend says to leave windows open.   I suggest they just buy air conditioning units and forget that  legend nonsense.

In Russia, they say that carrying an empty bucket or even seeing someone carrying an empty bucket is a bad omen. This probably stemmed from the fact that Tsar Alexander II was assassinated by a man with an empty bucket, but the left in this country blames it on Putin and Trump. Next door to Russia, in  Finland, killing a spider means it will rain the next day. Of course the left also insists it is Putin and Trump, not the spider, that is responsible for the rain.

In Malaysia is that if you sit on a pillow, it will cause your bottom and backside to be covered in boils, blisters, and other sores. I'll take their word for that because I don't want to see it myself. Strangely enough, this superstition does not specify as to whether cushions instead of pillows are included. Still, pillows are mostly meant for your head for when you sleep, so would you really want to share the pillow with your butt. I don't need to see your answer!

In France, it's believed to be good luck to step in dog poop with your left foot, but bad luck to step in it with your right. Given the source being France this makes more sense. It's more logical that the rest of what the French say and believe. In the rival of France, Germany, it is bad luck to cheers with water because it is said you are literally wishing death to everyone you are drinking with. Actually, those Germans are probably wishing death to the French, who have annoyed Germans with pretentiousness for centuries.

In Denmark, they save broken dishes all year long to throw at the houses of friends and family on New Year's Eve. It's believed that the larger the amount of porcelain, the more good luck bestowed upon friends and family. Or maybe the Danes are just cheap and plan on gluing those broken dishes together for reuse.

Oh before I forget. There is a superstition if you read the junk I write your brain may fall into decay.  But I guess you already knew that.

You Are What You Eat

You ever heard the expression, "you are what you eat"? I'm suspicious of that! The first mention of the phrase "you are what you eat" came from the 1826 work Physiologie du Gout, ou Medetations de Gastronomie Transcendante, in which French author Anthelme Brillat-Savarin wrote: “Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what your are.” Hmmmm The French think they know everything about food, but they are delusional. Just think of what those crazy vegans and vegetarians would be if they looked and acted like the plants they ate? Oh, wait. Some vegans don't even look as healthy as a carrot or as asparagus.

Basically, the idea of that phrase is that to stay healthy, it’s best to keep off junk food because "you are what you eat".  When I meet a convert to a "healthy food diet"  they mumble that they are superior. The exclaim that, "I feel more energetic and fit now that I’ve given up processed food and eat more freshly prepared local and seasonal foods.” At that point I tell them I love donuts and hamburger. What normal person doesn't? But that falls flat, so i ask them about drugs, whether they take any.

Most health nuts pop a lot of pills. They love things like steroids, smoking joints and supplements. They eat allot of supplements, foreign, mostly made in lab drugs that they seem to think are not "junk foods". But they are. I say let me have my junkie donuts and hamburgers in peace, without any pretentious preaching about your "natural diet" and I'll shut up about your addiction to all those drugs.

To show how off those health nuts are, just look at how food changes as to whether it is healthy or unhealthy. Once butter, for example, was deemed unhealthy because it was too fatty. Margarine was invented in the lab as a "healthy substitute", but now we believe that butter is far better and far more healthy than margarine. For a long time, eggs were thought to be bad for your heart. A large egg contains a hefty 185mg of cholesterol. Dietary cholesterol was believed to contribute to high blood cholesterol levels. But for the last 20 years, nutrition and medical research has shown repeatedly that at normal intakes dietary cholesterol has very little influence on a person’s blood cholesterol levels. Take that, healthy eaters!

Potatoes are considered to be unhealthy by some, but healthy by others. That's because they have plenty of carbohydrates, but how you prepare potatoes also changes the aspects of those starches that get a bad rap and makes kit healthy. Sigh. How is one to know this good/bad food dynamic. It's the same with milk and cheese, once considered bad for the heart but now treasured by many because dairy products include the high protein and calcium content.

I think that the you are what you at motto should be thrown down the garbage disposal with the Quinoa that I hate so much. Remember, when it comes to food and health: all foods, even my donuts, can fit into a healthy diet. There are  no “super foods” or “food villains”. Enthusiastic consumption of one particular “super food” can be worse than consuming a so called “food villain”. Uh, with that remark, I think that I just endorsed eating donuts for healthier living

World Of Plastic

We live in a world of plastic, for better or worse. I suppose there are more good  than bad things about the invention of plastic. But the biggest negative to it is it is growing our trash way too much. Humans have produced 18.2 trillion pounds of plastics since large scale production began in the early 1950s and we've put most of it in the trash. If you took all the plastic in the trash today it would be equal to 1 billion elephants. Scientists say that by 2050, another 26.5 trillion pounds will be produced worldwide. The problem with durable and faithful plastic is that most  plastics don't biodegrade.

Just think, those Mc Donald's kid meal plastic toys will be with us for thousands of years.  If you pay attention while you walk you'll see plastic often. You can't go anywhere without finding plastic waste in our environment, including in bodies of water. A recent study by the British research firm Eunomia (No, they don't make plastic)  said there may be as much as 70 million tons of plastic waste on the sea floor alone. Eunomia also found that. It found only about 9% of plastic has been recycled. About 12% is incinerated  (I'm not sure what environmental impact incinerated plastic has).

If I asked you what is the most produced man-made substance, you might say plastic, and you would be almost correct if you did. Only steel and concrete are more often produced. Most of the plastic produced doesn't last long. In fact, half of it becomes waste after less than 5 years. Yet. most of plastic products are made only for short term use.

China, the U.S. and Europe produce the most plastic. The best recyclers are Europe and China. The largest market for plastic is packaging, which increased worldwide as consumers shifted from reusable to single-use containers. I think the person who invented those plastic food saver containers should be transported to the moon. And scientists say they know that plastic production isn't going to stop or even slow down because there are some legitimate uses for it. Plastics are indispensable in products designed for durability. Plastic is like the roach that no one can kill.

Filming A Jail Break With One's Cell Phone

It's time to take nominations for the yearly award of 'Most addicted to a Cell Phone'. I've got my own nomination. It's from three prisoners who just had to record their jailbreak on their cell, presumably because the world would be deprived if not seeing it. This happened in the land of the bizarre, California. What a surprise, unreality is bred faster than rabbits there. While sneaking out the three recorded their escape with a contraband cell phone and later cut a video narrating the details of the jailbreak. The 15 minute, heavily edited clip of that escape includes a voice over by one of the alleged escapees explaining the daring escape from the Orange County Jail.

“My name is Adam Hossein Nayeri,” the lead addict/imbecile says on the video. “You know, a lot of people like to credit us with some Houdini escape act all in eight minutes flat. It's an interesting myth: Three guys sneaking out of a maximum security module right after a supposed 5 a.m. count without anyone noticing.” Adam seems a little short in the literacy department. But who needs to be able to express his thoughts cogently when he has a cell phone. Cell phones are almost the equal to God!

A fool like Adam is surely going to be caught when he announces his escape publicly. But who cares, I suppose he thinks. He''ll obtain another cell while in jail, thereby fulfilling his life dreams. When nabbed Adam said,  “In reality, it is true, we did leave that mod after count. Not the one they're claiming, though, I left that module at least eight hour earlier, the night before … As far as setup goes, well, we had a duffel bag and a backpack full of stuff.” Huh?  I need an interpreter for him. But police did confirm that the three thugs used hundreds of feet of industrial grade rope, a toolbox, shoes, clothes and  more.

“But this was no secret, I mean, they knew about all this within hours afterwards,” Adam said. “I don't know why they still chose to stand with the string story, the 5 a.m. count and whatever else. I'm sure they have good reasons, they always do. They even tried to blame an innocent person initially.” The video abruptly cuts to show what appears to be the inside of the jail, with dozens of inmates in orange jumpsuits in cell blocks. The camera also briefly shows Adam's fellow escapee Bac Duong, who smiles for the camera. Maybe Bac will smile if they execute him? That might make a more appealing You Tube video than did the escape.

Anyway, I prefer to skip a  full report on the escape. Lt. Lane Lagaret, an Orange County Sheriff’s Department spokesman, declined to comment on the video saying  only that “The video released today contains footage that is part of an ongoing investigation and is consistent with information OCSD has already supplied verbally to the media,” Lagaret said in a statement. “We will not provide additional comment on a video narrative that seeks to make light of criminal actions.”

But the good news is all three are back in a prison cell, and authorities are searching them regularly in case they acquire another cell phone in prison. In case you are as addicted to cell videos of prison breaks as is Adam, here is a 54 second segment of the break. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mDQB7F56DA&ytbChannel=New%20York%20Post

TV Technology Is Too Complicated Now

As I am an old man now I was thinking the other day (old timers think allot and do little) about whether life is better for we who are breathing today than it was for the ones that we  visit in the cemetery. I have not quite come to a conclusion, so since I am confused let me confuse you as well by making a case for both views. Case one is that life is better for us than the last three generations. The explosion of invention and new technology makes it far more comfortable for us. When we are sick we receive better treatment and recover. Our technology makes life less boring today.

We have more free time to do more interesting things and we are less tired due to having to do strenuous labor (like tilling the farm fields). Medicine helps us live longer and feel better more often than those earlier generations. We have more opportunity today. We can travel more easily and more often and can be lazy without worrying about things get done because our machines do so much of what we used to do. All the modern inventions have made life better, proving that "the good old days" were really not so good.

Case two says we are worse off today. Life is more stressful and less meaningful. Instead of talking to each other, eating diner together and conversing about important things, we instead chat or post idiocy on cell phones. We are more informed on triviality, like actors and movies and trends and the reality world, but uninformed on the cerebral and what really should matter to us. We have closets of clothes, but dress poorly compared to the earlier times when a suit and tie was standard wear, even at sporting events.

We don't know our children as well because we don't relate to them anymore. Our kids are parented more by their technology than by their parents. Quantity has replaced quality. In those earlier times we knew what we believed. Our religion guided our life. Today our celebrity tweets enlighten us. Our technology is better today, but we are less free because of it. It enslaves us.

Maybe it' not fair to compare times because can only live in one. But those who do question probably do so because they feel some discomfort with or estrangement from our lives today. But perhaps those earlier generations felt the same way about their own lives. What do you think?