Prom Shopping

Sunday my daughter Jane and I went shopping for her prom dress shoes. Sigh. We spent the whole day Saturday getting the dress, but in the female shopping world, each purchase of one female clothing article requires an equal purchase of another the next day. All I heard form Jane was how impatient I was about my desire to get the shoes and go home. At one point (hour four!) I even suggested she choose some ill matched shoes, but she is too smart for that. But this browsing/shopping over and over again makes me crazy. Anyway, she found shoes to match (at a Macy's, the third Macy's we visited Sunday!) and the prom shopping should be over for this year. But then, Jane will do the prom dress bit next year and the same routine will occur (I should hide or run away from home).

Portland is environmentally politically correct. Uh...it is way over the top about the subject. The segment of the population that is in control politically here is driven by that global warming enthusiasm that is so trendy everywhere now. Portlanders recycle their shopping bags or use bamboo bags they carry everywhere. They ride their bikes whenever they can leave the car home. They always try to buy "organic". Bla bla bla....you get the idea. No need to list their many other "green behaviors "but they are what is expected here.

Well, it is a lovely place with a beautiful environment. So the net effect of their overzealous and pedantic obsession with protecting the environment is probably good if (ironically) wasteful. But here you have to get through some annoying and crazy aspects of the new age environmentalism. To illustrate, I have an example of one craziness I saw when I used the mall rest room today.

After doing my "business" in the toilet and washing my hands I proceeded to the hand dryer which has a message written in bold type on top of each had dryer: "This Hand Dryer Saves 24 Trees Each Year". I was amused, and when I got back into the mall corridor and met Jane again I told her about that odd advertisement of self congratulatory that is so common in Oregon. She laughed and remarked what I thought also when I read that self congratulatory line. "How do they know it is 24 trees", she asked?

One does not ask a global warmer for evidence of any, even the smallest global warming assertion, because we all know that in their words.... "EVERYONE knows the planet is being destroyed by man". I suggested to her that perhaps it was a guess (to a global warmer a guess is a "fact" when it applies to their theories of planetary heating) and that I wasn't going to ask anyone for evidence of any of their claims. The fact that the rest room hand dryers work via electricity generated at the tradeoff expense (there is perhaps more environmental damage from the hand dryers than by using renewable trees as hand drying paper) probably doesn't factor into that hand drying math equation I read in that rest room.

I feel an urge to go back to that bathroom and leave my own environmental message on that had dryer. "The electricity consumed to power these wasteful hand dryers is a greater planet warmer than all the hot air exhaled by Portland's global warmers. Save us all, and just wipe your hands on your shirts next time!"

Comedy

I had quite an animal tour yesterday when walking up the side of the crag in my subdivision. First I encountered a huge rabbit as I ascended and reached the top and looked up I was face to face with two huge deer. They looked at me and I at them. But they did not run. I sat down and watched them graze there for about 10 minutes. It's odd those wild deer ignored me (maybe they were observing a weird human). As I left and descended I stepped almost on top of a (harmless) grass snake. The creatures were out.

That comedy club was nice last night because the featured comic was hysterical. After the two "warm-up" comics didn't make me laugh much, the featured one (can't remember his name) was terrific. He did some great celebrity impressions and dialects in his act, including a funny bit where Arnold Schwarzennegar debates Sylvester Stallone. Just the concept of those to debating is odd. They are almost unintelligible when they say anything.

I think being a comedian must be a difficult life. Most of them struggle on stage and get little attention, making little money trying to make people laugh. Professional comics are a bred to themselves. I have read that most are very shy off stage, socially inept, that they are on average highly intelligent (quick ad- libs are part of their act so they have to think fast on their feet). Supposedly, they have a high rate for alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide. It's ironic that the comic is often so unhappy. But I think they are driven people who must be "on stage" in order to relate better to the world than they do when off it.

It is said that many comedians are never able to be "themselves" because they lose their identity to their stage act. They can't be themselves with others. If a person is the type who feels compelled to get on-stage and bare his or her soul to a room full of strangers night after night, chances are that mind doesn't work in what society would consider a traditional way.

Depression, compulsive behaviors or severe anxiety is probably motivating them to be on-stage.
But stand-up comedians are, in general, much more sensitive and have more access to their emotions than the rest of us. They are like other painters, musicians and artists in that their world is somehow different from that of the mainstream. I notice that most comics really do thrive or wither based on whether the audience like their performance. The fact that the feedback they get is instantaneous and clear cut must be brutal when they fail to make the audience laugh

Taking Vitamins

I had to go to the vitamin store today. Not for me. I don't take any medications, never have and never will unless my life depended on it. Aside from the standard and inexpensive multi vitamin tablet each morning I am chemical free. But Jane has been told that a B vitamin complex will help her reduce her migraines headaches or prevent acne (I can't remember which), she is almost out of them and as a result I headed fro a Vitamin supplement store just a few blocks from my home.

Buying vitamins is like buying a car. The same product in different forms exists in huge numbers, at very different prices and with claims about each one's effectiveness that are impossible to believe. Fortunately, I knew what I wanted to buy (I had the empty bottle from the last time I bought them) and did not have to compare guess, ask salespeople what to purchase etc. But still....the experience of buying vitamins is a challenging one. The claims on the labels are often as much subjective as objective, and the regulations for vitamins are more about minimum requirements than proof in advertising.

I found the shelf for Jane's B complex and noticed so many of them with variations in price that equaled more than 100%. No problem, I just purchased the same vitamin item as she has been using. When buying vitamins it is best to pick one and ask few questions, sort of like buying candy with a small child. If you ask the child for an opinion you'll get too many, and either never choose one or you'll wind up with more candy than you want.

Anyway, most physicians say that unless suffering from some vitamin deficiency, other than purchasing a multi vitamin you are wasting money when you purchase the others. The are basically peed out when used, as the body already has enough of the vitamin you are adding. And all those herbs and other new age remedies they sell and make grand claims for at a vitamin store are nothing more than big profit makers for the seller. I think people who buy those are just addicted....not the the chemical they buy but rather to an idea that swallowing a plant root extract is somehow natural and therapeutic.

Vitamins were not even discovered until the early 1900's and the first synthesized into vitamin pill didn't come into production and sale until 1937. That was with just one vitamin in a pill, vitamin C. Those multi vitamin pills we take today came after World War II, more as a marketing gimmick than for health reasons. So all throughout the history of the world humans have done just as well without the vitamin, mineral, herb and other medicinal drug cache we see at stores today. This is quite upsetting! We are being hoodwinked. Hmmmm I wonder if I can buy a pill to take to alleviate being hoodwinked.

Smelly Words

I mowed the lawn today, not an eventful deed, though it was the first mowing since last October. I mentioned it because after I finished and closed my garage door the odor of the fresh cut partially wet grass on the blades of the lawn mower reminded me how much we treasure certain smells. That fresh cut grass has a smell that is singular. It both attracts and repels, and it does something that many other of our favorite smells do. It brings us back to childhood or earlier memories of the same smell.

When I think of the smell of fresh cut lawns I get images of myself, 9 or 10 years old, pushing a mower on a hot summer day. The odor of today's mowed grass brought me back, only momentarily but vividly, to the joy of boyhood with all it's irresponsibility and freedom. A good smell has power and, of course, a bad one can be equally impacting. If I asked you to name your favorite smells you can easily come up with a few. But if I ask about your least favorite smells

(though please spare me of the odors of body excretions) you probably have to stop and think awhile. Our memories are selective in that they treasure the good and pushing the bad into the dark areas of the brain.

The worst smell for me is a burned egg yolk. That's because, not only does it have an awful odor, but I remember as a child burning one badly at home while cooking eggs for my breakfast. I left the kitchen and was distracted while away, coming back to a dank odor of a well burned egg. It made me feel nauseous then and it stamped itself permanently as a hated odor. Maybe that's why I now dislike eating egg yolks at breakfast, and why when I fry eggs in a pan for breakfast I use three egg whites and only one yolk.

Smells have strong associative properties with the stronger associations being more positive, I think. That's why the smell of fresh baked bread is so pleasant for everyone. We all have had frequent run-ins with that smell, and it is always associated with a past good moment in our lives. Can you think of anything negative about that smell? I can't. Not only is the physical odor pleasant, but it is a comfortable one. bakeries, mom's home kitchen all the places we smell that are comfort association. Our sense of smell is connected really well to our memory. The smell of popcorn reminds us of being at the movies with a friend or the smell of tar can remind you of riding in a car to the beach.

I'm glad my sense of smell is still working strongly. As we age it fades, just like the sense of taste declines (the two are closely associated too). What are your favorite smells and why so? Any smell that especially repulses you? Oh, yeah... I already know that you probably think my comments today "stink". At least I am consistently smelly.

Obama Announces He Is Running Again

Barack Obama has announced he is running for re election as president in the November 2012 election. One interesting aspect of the announcement is that it was initially made simultaneously via E mail and at BarackObama.com to his supporters, not through means of the traditional press conference. In this age of media campaigning, Obama is a master of using the newer forms of media. It's a prime reason why he was able to raise so much money and win in 2008. It surely is beyond dispute that the electronic communications are what enabled Obama to win the Presidency in 2008. He is truly the first "Connected President".

Why does a sitting President need to announce he is running again more than 1 1/2 years before the election? It's money. By filing papers with the Federal Election Commission, Obama can begin to fund raise for his re-election campaign according to federal laws about campaign contributions. I have no doubt he will raise plenty of money to run again. But with an approval rating at only 46% among voters and a disapproval rating at exactly the same 46%, Obama has proven to be not the unifier, but the polarizing President....well....but not as much as was George Bush. But Obama has quite a few enemies now that he did not have in the first election, particular among independent voters like me who voted for him then but who are now baffled by his lack of vision, his lies and deceptions and his almost total inability to deliver on any of his last campaign promises.

Other than delivering on the gutted version of a health care bill that the majority of Americans say they did not want anyway, Obama's "Hope and Change" 2008 promise has turned into the "Changeless Lethargic Presidency". When a sitting President campaigns for re election he usually refers back to promises made and promises delivered. But Obama has few of those delivered promises to cite. A cynic would say that he might as well use all his campaigning material from 2008 since he hasn't fulfilled the promises made then.

So how does he campaign in 2012, given his failure to achieve so much of what he promised in 2008? I doubt he would brag about running up the largest deficit spending in the history of the world in just the first two years of office. The American economy is so broken it may be beyond repair, and Obama as President has shown no attempt to practice the leadership needed to tell voters what they must be sacrifice in order to fix it. Too, he can't run on the promise to end the wars in Iraq in Afghanistan, given they are still active and Obama has even instigated another new war with Libya. The economy is still awful and the President whose job it is to lead in times of crisis, acts as if he is in denial about even the existence of any economic problems. "Hope and Change" has lead to "Hopelessness" for many here in the U.S.

Well, Obama could sit and wait...hope that the economy improves before the election comes along. Voters most often re elect the president when the economy seems improved. He also could campaign on abstract issues such as his like ability quotient or the fact that most voters feel he is far more trustworthy than most recent presidents. Too, his Republican opponents are equally inept and so far offer no candidate any better than the impotent Obama himself. Obama might campaign on the "At least I am not as bad as they would be" mantra.

Well, it seems with the announcement, that Obama may just buy his way into a second term. Evidently the Democrats will raise enough money to propagandize enough voters to believe whatever message it is Obama will give and make them forget the ignored promises of the 2008 campaign. After all, in American presidential elections the candidate who spends the most money trying to be elected usually wins most of the time. Right now, Obama is way ahead in that regard.

More Privileges For Illegal Immigrants

When I read my newspaper today and saw the headline, 'Oregon Senate approves bill giving undocumented students in-state tuition', I almost fell on the floor. It's bad enough to call illegal immigrants "undocumented students", but to treat them as citizens is disgraceful and disrespectful to the legal residents here. Basically, it would allow illegal immigrant students living in Oregon to pay resident tuition at the state's public universities. The cost of tuition for an out of state resident (or in this case, an illegal immigrant resident) is three times higher than that of a person who legally resides in Oregon.

The sponsor of the bill( who lives in a district that is populated heavily with Hispanic voters and who can not win re election without Hispanic votes gave to same tired illogical reason for making legal Oregonians pay extra of illegal immigrants to use their colleges. He pronounced that children should not be "punished" for the actions of their parents. "We have in some cases invested $100,000 in their lives (for public schooling)," he said. "Why would we deny them the opportunity to attend our universities, improve their lives and give back to the state?"

How idiotic! First he admits that taxpayers take away from legal students the average $100,000 cost per illegal student schooling, and then give it to people who should not be in the U.S. The he falsely claims they are "denied the opportunity" to attend Oregon colleges. The illegal person should be denied that opportunity, but they are not.

The one politician brave enough (not in a Hispanic voting district) to oppose the bill said it best, "Unfortunately, children do pay for the sins of their parents," he said. "It is unfortunate, but it is reality. These educated kids can't work here." In stead of the "it's not my fault my parents broke the law and brought me here" irrational line we hear constantly, illegal immigrants should be told that they do not have the right to live where ever they wish. When mom and dad break the law by entering a country illegally, working illegally, not paying taxes and more, they, as juveniles, also have broken the law. Being a victim of irresponsible/criminal parents does not confer the right to citizenship or the privileges of citizenship.

If for, example, a parent burglarized a home and stole toys that he then gave to his or her children, would that mean the child could keep the toys after the parents was apprehended? According to the mentality of those who want to grant privileges to the children of illegal immigrants kids should be rewarded when their parents commit illegal acts....and at the expense of legal residents who must pay for those privileges.

The federal government generally purposefully leave undocumented students alone unless they get involved with crime. They pretend illegal immigrants are not here and do not allow state governments to regulate them because the U.S constitution makes immigration policy enforcement a strictly federal affair. States also pretend illegal immigrants have aright to be in the country illegally. When for example, schools ask illegal immigrants to produce a birth certificate at school registration the answer is always "I lost it". And the reply of the states is to accept that answer, enroll the illegal child in school, further overburdening taxpayers who must pay that $100, 000 average per pupil cost. The illegal immigrant family is never again asked to produce a birth certificate.

The reckless disregard for the rule of law by the Oregon legislators (and practically every other state's politicians) and the use of tax dollars to support illegal immigrants should be an outrage to legal residents of the state . There is no justification for giving taxpayer benefits to anyone who has entered and lives this in this state illegally. But then, reason was lost to political correctness long ago. I think we in the U.S. have been invaded by illegals with the help of those whose responsibility it is to represent legal residents and enforce the laws designed to protect us.

Senior Texting Language

The golden oldies (let's say....over age 65) are making their presence felt now more and more. It's not just their increasing numbers (in 1790 only 2 percent of the population was over 65, now it is 13%). They even tweet now, and like those teenagers who speak in tongues only known to each other, the oldies have their own tweet and chat language when they go on line. Just drop by any nursing home and check out the computer area. You'll learn allot about English by listening in on the golden oldie chat.

I found the most common senior acronyms on line, the STC (Senior Texting Code), and lucky you...you get to read and learn the acronyms. If you think Paris Hilton's "That's Hot" or that 13 year old girl's lol are passé, maybe you can start adopting the STC code instead. You don't have to be an oldie to use the oldie language. Here is the latest in STC you can use with others face to face, on line or in your phone.

ATD: At The Doctor’s
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring TheWheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk’s On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas.
ROFL… CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing… And Can’t Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where’s The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

Oh my, those old-timers are either creative with their acronyms or showing signs of Alzheimer's. But don't blame the oldies. They have to use this kind of language in response to because younger friends and family send them messages and tweets in their own acronym language. Old Mildred can't be blamed for sending her own texts in STC language. What's good for the 20 year old is good for the oldie or as they might text it, "I just WTFA again but I am ATD for my constipation. WTP! Good thing my bowel problems are CBM. WAITT.. Sorry, I sometimes can't remember. OMSG. Hallelujah! SGGP...CUATSC.