The best lesson on the meaning of Christmas is the O'Henry classic short story 'The Gift of the Magi'. Today I will summarize it in the spirit of the Christmas season and as a reminder of what Christmas should be about. The story is simple but speaks volumes about happiness, about Christmas and about meaning in life itself. I intend to tell this every Christmas because it is that meaningful So today I spare you my mindless chatter. Be grateful for this Christmas gift you receive with this mail. I will be back tomorrow as before. In Biblical context the magi were wise men who brought gifts to baby Jesus in the manger, thus inventing the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise magi their gifts were the best ones. And so I go to my version of the story O' Henry wrote about the Christmas gift. Bear with me. It will be short and follows below...
A man and woman very much in love because they were together, relatively poor, approached Christmas time. Though they had no children and little money, they were happy because they were together, only regretting that this Christmas they were too poor to buy each other a gift. Each had only one possession that they cherished above any other material thing, he a beautiful gold watch left to him by his father and she her long golden cascading hair. It came to be the day before Christmas and they had no money with which to buy each other a gift.
But on his way to work the man realized there as a way he could buy his wife a wonderful present, and she too, during the Christmas Eve day, discovered a way to buy her husband a fine gift. That Christmas Eve night the man came home with his gift tucked under his arm, and she too had wrapped her present for him. They rushed to embrace and gasped as they gazed at each other, tears dribbling to the cheek of both as they looked into each other's eyes. Through bittersweet tears they exchanged gifts. The man opened his. It was a beautiful gold fob for his watch. But he no longer had the watch. He had sold it to buy her a present, a beautiful sparkling gold comb for her hair. But she couldn't use it. She had cut her hair and sold it to a wig maker to pay for the fob she had just presented to her husband.
They looked at each other and at the presents and smiled. For they realized at once that in spite of it all, they had given to each other the greatest gift of all- true love.
Merry Christmas to all.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Single Christmas Bells
Single Bells. single Bells, single all the way.. Ok, it's a bad play on words to a famous Christmas tune. But what is the role of the single adult during Christmas season? It used to be considered a sad holiday for those without spouses or boy/girl friends with whom to share the holiday. But that clearly is not the case with most singles today.
Statistics show that about half of all adults in the U.S. are single, meaning there are more single households than married ones here (and in many other countries). Those singles often prefer the un pressured times to the family or significant other pressures that are so common during the holiday season. They do not get the judgmental looks and expectations either. And "no relationship" is always better than a bad or unfulfilled one, especially during the holidays.
Many singles also say it is a whole lot cheaper and budget friendly to be unattached at gift giving time. They instead often travel or spoil themselves by buying a gift for themselves that they may have longed for all year. Single bellers (I made up that stupid phrase, go ahead and shoot me!) also love hearing their married or romantically involved friends tell them "You are so lucky to be free to do what you want at Christmas".
I like the freedom of the single beller existence too and think it is much less pressured than the alternative. I have even heard stories of men or women in unhappy relationships breaking a relationship a couple of months before Christmas to avoid the hassle of a Christmas as a (unhappy) couple routine. The hardest part for the single beller is the perception of parents, other family members and friends that they must not be happy at Christmas because they are unattached.
Hmmmmmm It is often a false perception. Why look at Santa himself. He is so desperate to get out of the house and away from Mrs. Clause that he works himself to exhaustion every Christmas Eve delivering those presents. And the singles always seem to get the nicest ones. Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas Single Bellers.
One person Santa won't visit this year (unless he is making stops at city jails) is Eloise Reaves, 50, of Palatka, North Carolina. Eloise doesn't deserve gifts anyway because she is undoubtedly to stupid to handle them safely. I know this because of what Eloise did the other day. You see, she was arrested after complaining to a police officer that the crack cocaine she had just bought wasn't very good.
Haha Let's hope her brain was impaired by the cocaine when she did that, because a more stupid police report could never be filed that that one. But Eloise calmly approached a police deputy at a convenience store, and told him that a man sold her "bad crack" that contained only wax and cocaine. She then pulled the crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the police officer's car so he could inspect it.
The officer then told Eloise that she was going to be arrested if the crack tested positive for cocaine. It did. She was charged with possession of cocaine and is probably waiting for Santa to bring her a better rock this Christmas so she can get high high high for the holidays....
Statistics show that about half of all adults in the U.S. are single, meaning there are more single households than married ones here (and in many other countries). Those singles often prefer the un pressured times to the family or significant other pressures that are so common during the holiday season. They do not get the judgmental looks and expectations either. And "no relationship" is always better than a bad or unfulfilled one, especially during the holidays.
Many singles also say it is a whole lot cheaper and budget friendly to be unattached at gift giving time. They instead often travel or spoil themselves by buying a gift for themselves that they may have longed for all year. Single bellers (I made up that stupid phrase, go ahead and shoot me!) also love hearing their married or romantically involved friends tell them "You are so lucky to be free to do what you want at Christmas".
I like the freedom of the single beller existence too and think it is much less pressured than the alternative. I have even heard stories of men or women in unhappy relationships breaking a relationship a couple of months before Christmas to avoid the hassle of a Christmas as a (unhappy) couple routine. The hardest part for the single beller is the perception of parents, other family members and friends that they must not be happy at Christmas because they are unattached.
Hmmmmmm It is often a false perception. Why look at Santa himself. He is so desperate to get out of the house and away from Mrs. Clause that he works himself to exhaustion every Christmas Eve delivering those presents. And the singles always seem to get the nicest ones. Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas Single Bellers.
One person Santa won't visit this year (unless he is making stops at city jails) is Eloise Reaves, 50, of Palatka, North Carolina. Eloise doesn't deserve gifts anyway because she is undoubtedly to stupid to handle them safely. I know this because of what Eloise did the other day. You see, she was arrested after complaining to a police officer that the crack cocaine she had just bought wasn't very good.
Haha Let's hope her brain was impaired by the cocaine when she did that, because a more stupid police report could never be filed that that one. But Eloise calmly approached a police deputy at a convenience store, and told him that a man sold her "bad crack" that contained only wax and cocaine. She then pulled the crack rock out of her mouth and placed it on the police officer's car so he could inspect it.
The officer then told Eloise that she was going to be arrested if the crack tested positive for cocaine. It did. She was charged with possession of cocaine and is probably waiting for Santa to bring her a better rock this Christmas so she can get high high high for the holidays....
Fast Food Christmas
Have you had a fast food Christmas yet? Oh, don't know what I am talking about? It's the latest in fast food marketing, the special Christmas treat. Yep! The junk food sellers are throwing even more junkie holiday specials at us and doing so at inflated prices. So many hungry Christmas shoppers have visions, not only of sugar plums, but of holiday flavored coffee, donuts, and candy cane shaped sandwiches to keep their energy level going while shopping for their crazy uncle's gift during Christmas time. Here are some of this seasons favored Holiday treats.
* Einstein Brothers Bagels- This chain of bagel specialists twists two potato bagels together, adds red die and sugar and produces a bagel candy cane.
* Starbucks- They offer peppermint mocha, egg nog and my favorite gingerbread lattes. Hmmmm Putting them in red Christmas cups makes even Santa thirsty for one of those. If your hungry while at Starbucks you can have the gingerbread scones or eggnog pastries sold at Christmas time.
* McDonald's- They put their "premium coffee" (Can McDonald's have a premium anything?) in holiday cups and also sell an eggnog milkshake.
* Dunkin Donuts- I like the pumpkin and gingerbread muffins at Dunkin and a very good gingerbread lattte. Dunkin has been concentrating on coffee the past few years to compete with coffee houses like Starbucks.
* El Pollo Loco- The Mexican fast food chains also sell their traditional Christmas foods. This one has the seasonal chicken tamale * Baskin Robbins- This one has special ice cream flavors now. I like the Gingerbread, Winter White Chocolate and Peppermint Stick Holiday flavors. And there are many seasonal shakes and other ice cream specialties.
* Wendy's- The Wendy's hamburger chain gives out Christmas toys with it's kid meal offerings, even some ornaments in those meal kits for the tree for the little ones to hang. Well, there are more fast food seasonal treats for sale but that's the idea. Most of these seasonal treats are big winners for the fast food businesses, given they are all sold at higher prices than regular menu items. But consumers love them. They are festive and reassuring to people who are hurried and frazzled by shopping and other holiday obligations. When a fast food eater buys one of those seasonal treats he or she is treating him or herself to a small part of Christmas, a boost for one's Christmas spirit. The sellers are smart to limit the sale to only December, even when the item (as the case with the Starbuck's Gingerbread Latte) is hugely popular with buyers. Otherwise the appeal of the goodies will wear thin.
So don't be a grinch this year. Even if most fast food is bland and unappealing, some of these specialty items are tasty and will make you feel more like a Christmas participant than a Christmas observer. Need a last minute Christmas gift? How about a Chocolate cake from Osaka, Japan's Takashimaya department store? It's a little pricey though, as in $850.000. I hardly think that qualifies as one of the fast food Christmas goodies, because this one is loaded with 100 diamonds. That''s 50 carats of diamonds on top of the chocolate goodie. The Japanese are known for the extreme and adventuristic, but not a single person in Osaka has purchased this Christmas cake. Takashimaya says the cake is a bargain because the jewels are worth the price. Uh....if you decide to buy one and send it to me this Christmas I can send my address in my next missive.
* Einstein Brothers Bagels- This chain of bagel specialists twists two potato bagels together, adds red die and sugar and produces a bagel candy cane.
* Starbucks- They offer peppermint mocha, egg nog and my favorite gingerbread lattes. Hmmmm Putting them in red Christmas cups makes even Santa thirsty for one of those. If your hungry while at Starbucks you can have the gingerbread scones or eggnog pastries sold at Christmas time.
* McDonald's- They put their "premium coffee" (Can McDonald's have a premium anything?) in holiday cups and also sell an eggnog milkshake.
* Dunkin Donuts- I like the pumpkin and gingerbread muffins at Dunkin and a very good gingerbread lattte. Dunkin has been concentrating on coffee the past few years to compete with coffee houses like Starbucks.
* El Pollo Loco- The Mexican fast food chains also sell their traditional Christmas foods. This one has the seasonal chicken tamale * Baskin Robbins- This one has special ice cream flavors now. I like the Gingerbread, Winter White Chocolate and Peppermint Stick Holiday flavors. And there are many seasonal shakes and other ice cream specialties.
* Wendy's- The Wendy's hamburger chain gives out Christmas toys with it's kid meal offerings, even some ornaments in those meal kits for the tree for the little ones to hang. Well, there are more fast food seasonal treats for sale but that's the idea. Most of these seasonal treats are big winners for the fast food businesses, given they are all sold at higher prices than regular menu items. But consumers love them. They are festive and reassuring to people who are hurried and frazzled by shopping and other holiday obligations. When a fast food eater buys one of those seasonal treats he or she is treating him or herself to a small part of Christmas, a boost for one's Christmas spirit. The sellers are smart to limit the sale to only December, even when the item (as the case with the Starbuck's Gingerbread Latte) is hugely popular with buyers. Otherwise the appeal of the goodies will wear thin.
So don't be a grinch this year. Even if most fast food is bland and unappealing, some of these specialty items are tasty and will make you feel more like a Christmas participant than a Christmas observer. Need a last minute Christmas gift? How about a Chocolate cake from Osaka, Japan's Takashimaya department store? It's a little pricey though, as in $850.000. I hardly think that qualifies as one of the fast food Christmas goodies, because this one is loaded with 100 diamonds. That''s 50 carats of diamonds on top of the chocolate goodie. The Japanese are known for the extreme and adventuristic, but not a single person in Osaka has purchased this Christmas cake. Takashimaya says the cake is a bargain because the jewels are worth the price. Uh....if you decide to buy one and send it to me this Christmas I can send my address in my next missive.
Brain Drained New Orleans
I read an article today in the Associated Press, the biggest news agency in the U.S. It was a little distressing, though not of content unknown to me because it concerned the "brain drain" in New Orleans since Hurricane Katrina. That is, since Hurricane Katrina, my city is losing a huge number of well educated professionals. And what is most troubling is that many of those doctors, engineers, lawyers architects, teachers, musicians writers etc. who have left are the young professionals, the lifeblood of any city's future.
Some of those fled during the storm and never came back. Others came back, but soon gave up and moved away when faced with bad job prospects, a poor quality of life here and little faith in the future of the city. Some experts here say that shortly the brain drain will be full blown as the tiny population will not allow the professional classes the opportunity to earn enough money to satisfy their desires. The educated here just don't see good career opportunities here that they see elsewhere.
A recent survey conducted among New Orleanians showed that one-third of the residents living here now said they are likely to leave within two years (I am one of then 1/3 who believe that leaving is a strong possibility). One example of the brain drain is the trouble people who are ill have in finding doctors or hospitals still practicing. It's so bad here in the medical field now that only five of the eleven hospitals that operated before the hurricane is even re-open today. Just one of those five opened hospitals is functioning at full capacity.
Population studies here show that only about one half of the professionals have thus far returned and remained in the city. The problem extends to hiring new people. When the city tries to recruit, applicants run at the sound of the city's name. Estimates by some doctors in the area are that two years from now we will have only about 2 out of every 10 pre Katrina physicians who formerly practiced medicine here.
The politicians here seem more concerned about restarting a tourist industry and do little to solve the problems of the city. Basically, living in New Orleans is not the most comfortable or easy thing to do.
They say when men fight it is messy, but women fighting is an absolutely vicious sight to see. Well, it happened that way recently in a Brazilian handball league after an on-field fight among the ladies exacerbated out of control. The players threw punches and pulled each other's hair in a brawl that was so bad it forced a national championship semifinal game to be canceled. Haha TV pictures showed lumps of hair on the court after the match between Metodista and Guarulhos, held near Sao Paulo was stopped It al started when two player argued after a foul was called. Others joined in and a fight broke out. Play resumed but the ladies started fighting again shortly thereafter.
This time the fighting was more serious. One player started it when she pulled an opponent's hair, pushed her in the back and gave her the famous woman's slap in the face. The other player replied with a punch to the face, initiating a brawl that involved players, substitutes and even the officials. They all traded punches and kicks.
Wow! Women's' handball must be a great sport. We men would love to see more of that a kind of female competition....
Some of those fled during the storm and never came back. Others came back, but soon gave up and moved away when faced with bad job prospects, a poor quality of life here and little faith in the future of the city. Some experts here say that shortly the brain drain will be full blown as the tiny population will not allow the professional classes the opportunity to earn enough money to satisfy their desires. The educated here just don't see good career opportunities here that they see elsewhere.
A recent survey conducted among New Orleanians showed that one-third of the residents living here now said they are likely to leave within two years (I am one of then 1/3 who believe that leaving is a strong possibility). One example of the brain drain is the trouble people who are ill have in finding doctors or hospitals still practicing. It's so bad here in the medical field now that only five of the eleven hospitals that operated before the hurricane is even re-open today. Just one of those five opened hospitals is functioning at full capacity.
Population studies here show that only about one half of the professionals have thus far returned and remained in the city. The problem extends to hiring new people. When the city tries to recruit, applicants run at the sound of the city's name. Estimates by some doctors in the area are that two years from now we will have only about 2 out of every 10 pre Katrina physicians who formerly practiced medicine here.
The politicians here seem more concerned about restarting a tourist industry and do little to solve the problems of the city. Basically, living in New Orleans is not the most comfortable or easy thing to do.
They say when men fight it is messy, but women fighting is an absolutely vicious sight to see. Well, it happened that way recently in a Brazilian handball league after an on-field fight among the ladies exacerbated out of control. The players threw punches and pulled each other's hair in a brawl that was so bad it forced a national championship semifinal game to be canceled. Haha TV pictures showed lumps of hair on the court after the match between Metodista and Guarulhos, held near Sao Paulo was stopped It al started when two player argued after a foul was called. Others joined in and a fight broke out. Play resumed but the ladies started fighting again shortly thereafter.
This time the fighting was more serious. One player started it when she pulled an opponent's hair, pushed her in the back and gave her the famous woman's slap in the face. The other player replied with a punch to the face, initiating a brawl that involved players, substitutes and even the officials. They all traded punches and kicks.
Wow! Women's' handball must be a great sport. We men would love to see more of that a kind of female competition....
Christmas On TV
Ho Ho Ho, Santa Jim here. As much as I love Christmas and like to see and read about it. I think we are reaching a TV overload on Christmas programming. There is so much to choose from one can develop anxiety about the holidays. But given that I rarely watch TV and don't see many of the shows I am going to write about now, perhaps I am being a grinch of one sort or another. I do like the option of seeing such uplifting and inspiring films series and specials about my favorite holiday, but I wonder how all of them get the audience size sponsors want when paying for them.
There is one prominent cable TV channel called 'The Family Channel' (the name sort of implies the other channels show programs unsuitable for the family) that, beginning December first and running through the whole month, shows nothing but Christmas related programming. For example, tonight The Family Channel will show two movies in prime time, "Christmas Do-Over" (in the film a man relieves Christmas Day over and over until he stops acting naughty not nice) and "The Year without Santa" (I guess Islamic terrorists will like this one). And there are other channels that show mostly Christmas programming during the month.
Let me give you an idea of some of the programs on the various TV channels tonight between the hours of 7 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. that I am welcomed to watch if I need more Christmas spirit. * Christmas With The Mormon Tabernacle Choir- This famous Mormon choir will sing songs about the season with someone named Renee' Fleming (Am I supposed to know who she is? She is listed as a feature of the show). I have many Christmas tunes in my computer and we have several "all christmas music stations" I listen to on my radio, so i will let Renee sing without my presence.
* Bargain Hunt- This is a shopping channel. Tonight my newspaper TV listing says it will have many Christmas bargains I can buy if I watch. There is always a "sale" at Christmas
* Top Chef- This holiday special is a contest for chefs to see which can make the best holiday gingerbread display. If I watch, I'll eat too many gingerbread cookies. I better skip this one.
* "Santa Claus Meets The Martians"- Haha It's a movie about a Martian invasion of Earth. But when landing the Martians first meet Santa. That should confound those aliens.
* Myth Busters Holiday Special- This is a science channel offering in which several geeks debunk myths about things related to Christmas. The program description says one myth is the one that Christmas lights burn trees and houses. They will see how hot the lights on the tree must be before burning the house down. Hold on...I want to turn off my Christmas tree lights while I write to you about this stupidity.
* "Unlikely Angel"- it's a movie staring Dolly Parton (That country music woman with the tremendous sized breasts). The story line says "An emotionally troubled family is united by a kindly angel (By nature, aren't all angels kindly?). Hmmmmm I should turn it on for a few seconds to see if Dolly's breasts have grown since she became angelic.
* "A Christmas Carol"- The most filmed Christmas subject ever (Charles Dickens classic tale of Scrooge). I love the tale but have read and seen it so much I might tun into a Scrooge if I have to watch it for the 100th time.
* "A Perfect Day"- Hey! The movie where I was an extra last September as a Santa Claus is re-running again". My five seconds of fame was fun, but I better not watch or I will turn into one of those egotistical Hollywood celebrities I like to parody here.
Ok, that's sampling. there was more. It will all be gone by January 1st, and even thought I watch little of it, I will miss it all (even the invading Martians). It's nice to know that the programming is out there, that the Christmas spirit is at least alive on the boob tube. Santa is not too popular theses days in not so merry Scotland. He took another hit yesterday from the local kid gangs, the "neds" or "yobs", as they call those little thugs. The attack on santa this time was so bad that he has had to turn in this jolly traditional red and white hat for protective headgear.
It's because the neds gave Santa a symbolic pelting with traditional Christmas mince pies while the jolly fat man was handing out gold chocolate coins at a shopping mall in the town of Paisley. The neds directed the assault of mince meat while standing on a balcony overlooking Santa, then quickly fled the scene. To protect Santa from future attacks the mall issued him a yellow hard hat equipped with a pair of reindeer antlers.
Those neds are serial Santa stalkers. Last year in the same city the gang pounced on Santa calling him a "fraud and a fake". Maybe Santa should spread merry in disguise when in Paisley.
There is one prominent cable TV channel called 'The Family Channel' (the name sort of implies the other channels show programs unsuitable for the family) that, beginning December first and running through the whole month, shows nothing but Christmas related programming. For example, tonight The Family Channel will show two movies in prime time, "Christmas Do-Over" (in the film a man relieves Christmas Day over and over until he stops acting naughty not nice) and "The Year without Santa" (I guess Islamic terrorists will like this one). And there are other channels that show mostly Christmas programming during the month.
Let me give you an idea of some of the programs on the various TV channels tonight between the hours of 7 p.m. and 10:00 p.m. that I am welcomed to watch if I need more Christmas spirit. * Christmas With The Mormon Tabernacle Choir- This famous Mormon choir will sing songs about the season with someone named Renee' Fleming (Am I supposed to know who she is? She is listed as a feature of the show). I have many Christmas tunes in my computer and we have several "all christmas music stations" I listen to on my radio, so i will let Renee sing without my presence.
* Bargain Hunt- This is a shopping channel. Tonight my newspaper TV listing says it will have many Christmas bargains I can buy if I watch. There is always a "sale" at Christmas
* Top Chef- This holiday special is a contest for chefs to see which can make the best holiday gingerbread display. If I watch, I'll eat too many gingerbread cookies. I better skip this one.
* "Santa Claus Meets The Martians"- Haha It's a movie about a Martian invasion of Earth. But when landing the Martians first meet Santa. That should confound those aliens.
* Myth Busters Holiday Special- This is a science channel offering in which several geeks debunk myths about things related to Christmas. The program description says one myth is the one that Christmas lights burn trees and houses. They will see how hot the lights on the tree must be before burning the house down. Hold on...I want to turn off my Christmas tree lights while I write to you about this stupidity.
* "Unlikely Angel"- it's a movie staring Dolly Parton (That country music woman with the tremendous sized breasts). The story line says "An emotionally troubled family is united by a kindly angel (By nature, aren't all angels kindly?). Hmmmmm I should turn it on for a few seconds to see if Dolly's breasts have grown since she became angelic.
* "A Christmas Carol"- The most filmed Christmas subject ever (Charles Dickens classic tale of Scrooge). I love the tale but have read and seen it so much I might tun into a Scrooge if I have to watch it for the 100th time.
* "A Perfect Day"- Hey! The movie where I was an extra last September as a Santa Claus is re-running again". My five seconds of fame was fun, but I better not watch or I will turn into one of those egotistical Hollywood celebrities I like to parody here.
Ok, that's sampling. there was more. It will all be gone by January 1st, and even thought I watch little of it, I will miss it all (even the invading Martians). It's nice to know that the programming is out there, that the Christmas spirit is at least alive on the boob tube. Santa is not too popular theses days in not so merry Scotland. He took another hit yesterday from the local kid gangs, the "neds" or "yobs", as they call those little thugs. The attack on santa this time was so bad that he has had to turn in this jolly traditional red and white hat for protective headgear.
It's because the neds gave Santa a symbolic pelting with traditional Christmas mince pies while the jolly fat man was handing out gold chocolate coins at a shopping mall in the town of Paisley. The neds directed the assault of mince meat while standing on a balcony overlooking Santa, then quickly fled the scene. To protect Santa from future attacks the mall issued him a yellow hard hat equipped with a pair of reindeer antlers.
Those neds are serial Santa stalkers. Last year in the same city the gang pounced on Santa calling him a "fraud and a fake". Maybe Santa should spread merry in disguise when in Paisley.
2006 Top Yahoo Searches
Yahoo released it's 2006 'Most Searched' lists and guess who is on top for the fifth time in six years? It's the ye of little talent but great interest, Britney Spears. Yep, New Orleans own Brittany is more interesting to Yahoo searchers than anyone else this year. But why? Surely, Britney's small talents have long run their course, and she didn't even release any albums this year.
It must be her personal life that has them searching for her- the marriage to the infamous K Fed, the impending divorce to him, the birth of her son, Britney's no car seat for baby policy, she tendency to go out without under on and to let everyone know it. Haha. Only no talent Britney could upstage no talent Parish Hilton.
This was the year of the dumb blonde in searches because fellow blondes were right behind Britney in the most search race. Shakira was at number 3, Jessica Simpson number four, and Paris Hilton number five. Wow! Four of the first five most searched (number two in most searched was the World Wrestling organization) were "legally blonde". But what does that say about the searchers (unless they were all blonde too?).
Well, given that Beyonce, Pamela Anderson and Lindsay Lohan were also in the top ten searches, it says the people who search on Yahoo are probably not intellectuals. And what about news stories that were searched in 2006? Surely those who searched for news are more serious than the people who looked for the dumb blondes this year? They must have been searching for substance and for the events that shape the world and really effect all of our lives? Not really. The top two news stories searched were Australian Steve Irwin's death from a stingray's stab and the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son while visiting Anna in a hospital. Hmmmm let's see aren't Steve and Anna blondes too? We should declare this the year of the dumb blonde.
There is big....er small trouble in India these day. the Indian Council of Medical research has just announced that Indian "winkies" do not match international sizes and most condoms on sale there are too big. That's right. the "short and long of it" is that approximately 60% of Indian men (I didn't measure. I am just passing on the Council's research statistic) had penises at least 2.4 centimeters shorter than standard international condom sizes. And for an additional 30% of Indians the gap is a full five centimeters.
The study was conducted because of a 20% failure rate of condoms in India. Hmmmmm I don't think the study was needed. The population of India now is more than one billion people. Maybe instead of a 'Feed the Children' concert this year, those rock stars should "put on" a 'Short Condom Choral'.
It must be her personal life that has them searching for her- the marriage to the infamous K Fed, the impending divorce to him, the birth of her son, Britney's no car seat for baby policy, she tendency to go out without under on and to let everyone know it. Haha. Only no talent Britney could upstage no talent Parish Hilton.
This was the year of the dumb blonde in searches because fellow blondes were right behind Britney in the most search race. Shakira was at number 3, Jessica Simpson number four, and Paris Hilton number five. Wow! Four of the first five most searched (number two in most searched was the World Wrestling organization) were "legally blonde". But what does that say about the searchers (unless they were all blonde too?).
Well, given that Beyonce, Pamela Anderson and Lindsay Lohan were also in the top ten searches, it says the people who search on Yahoo are probably not intellectuals. And what about news stories that were searched in 2006? Surely those who searched for news are more serious than the people who looked for the dumb blondes this year? They must have been searching for substance and for the events that shape the world and really effect all of our lives? Not really. The top two news stories searched were Australian Steve Irwin's death from a stingray's stab and the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son while visiting Anna in a hospital. Hmmmm let's see aren't Steve and Anna blondes too? We should declare this the year of the dumb blonde.
There is big....er small trouble in India these day. the Indian Council of Medical research has just announced that Indian "winkies" do not match international sizes and most condoms on sale there are too big. That's right. the "short and long of it" is that approximately 60% of Indian men (I didn't measure. I am just passing on the Council's research statistic) had penises at least 2.4 centimeters shorter than standard international condom sizes. And for an additional 30% of Indians the gap is a full five centimeters.
The study was conducted because of a 20% failure rate of condoms in India. Hmmmmm I don't think the study was needed. The population of India now is more than one billion people. Maybe instead of a 'Feed the Children' concert this year, those rock stars should "put on" a 'Short Condom Choral'.
Christmas Display Excess
There is a new trend in holiday decorating here among families that can afford to spend an extra few thousand dollars at Christmas time. It's about decorating for the holidays, not the traditional interior decorating, but exterior house Christmas decorations. There are now companies for a small but growing number of homeowners that will decorate the home with lights, displays animation, whatever the homeowner wants for his house display at Christmas time.
Starting at about $1000 and going up into the $5000 range, the companies will design, install, take down and store all the homeowners decorations so he or she doesn't electrocute himself or fall off the roof while putting Santa's sleigh there. Stats show that decorating companies have done over 100,000 homes this year. But why can't the homeowner put up his or her own decorations? I do it.
Hmmmmm. It's probably because the homes with the most elaborate decorations require special equipment for hard to reach places and require a great deal of time commitment from the homeowner that he or she may not have. Some people like the garish decorations but don't want to spend the time and effort to construct them. And the professionally designed light displays use sophisticated electronics that the average homeowner has no clue about and would never use himself.
Well, that is definitely the high-end market and not appealing to me in any case. The fun of putting out decorations and lights is part of Christmas. I like my imperfect (tacky) display more than the fancy elaborate decorations of my neighbor down the street. He pays one of those decorating companies to come to his house after Thanksgiving and puts up a unique display each year. This year I saw two huge cranes (he has a big three story home) and the construction took all day to finish. It looks much better than mine, but I prefer the "sloppier and tacky" decorations people put up themselves. It's a more natural look than a professionally designed Christmas display. Mine has character and is not too professional looking (but strange looking, I fear) Of course..not spending $1000 extra on a light/decoration display is quite an incentive to do it yourself, too. Tacky isn't so bad when saving $1000.
In Sweden the annual 40 meter high Christmas goat decoration has more trouble staying up than being put up. The goat is a huge straw Christmas monument decoration that has been on display for the past 40 years near Stockholm. But during those 40 years vandals have burned it down more than 20 times.
Not this year! The construction crew has wised up and soaked the goat with flame-resistant chemicals. When the vandals tried to set it on fire the other day, it would not burn. Long Live The Christmas Goat (or something). The pranksters have been foiled so far this year. They may be back though. In the past the goat has been shot with flaming arrows, run over by a car and even had his legs cut off. Just last year the goat was burned to the ground by vandals dressed as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.....It's enough to make any goat kick a little.
Starting at about $1000 and going up into the $5000 range, the companies will design, install, take down and store all the homeowners decorations so he or she doesn't electrocute himself or fall off the roof while putting Santa's sleigh there. Stats show that decorating companies have done over 100,000 homes this year. But why can't the homeowner put up his or her own decorations? I do it.
Hmmmmm. It's probably because the homes with the most elaborate decorations require special equipment for hard to reach places and require a great deal of time commitment from the homeowner that he or she may not have. Some people like the garish decorations but don't want to spend the time and effort to construct them. And the professionally designed light displays use sophisticated electronics that the average homeowner has no clue about and would never use himself.
Well, that is definitely the high-end market and not appealing to me in any case. The fun of putting out decorations and lights is part of Christmas. I like my imperfect (tacky) display more than the fancy elaborate decorations of my neighbor down the street. He pays one of those decorating companies to come to his house after Thanksgiving and puts up a unique display each year. This year I saw two huge cranes (he has a big three story home) and the construction took all day to finish. It looks much better than mine, but I prefer the "sloppier and tacky" decorations people put up themselves. It's a more natural look than a professionally designed Christmas display. Mine has character and is not too professional looking (but strange looking, I fear) Of course..not spending $1000 extra on a light/decoration display is quite an incentive to do it yourself, too. Tacky isn't so bad when saving $1000.
In Sweden the annual 40 meter high Christmas goat decoration has more trouble staying up than being put up. The goat is a huge straw Christmas monument decoration that has been on display for the past 40 years near Stockholm. But during those 40 years vandals have burned it down more than 20 times.
Not this year! The construction crew has wised up and soaked the goat with flame-resistant chemicals. When the vandals tried to set it on fire the other day, it would not burn. Long Live The Christmas Goat (or something). The pranksters have been foiled so far this year. They may be back though. In the past the goat has been shot with flaming arrows, run over by a car and even had his legs cut off. Just last year the goat was burned to the ground by vandals dressed as Santa Claus and the Gingerbread Man. They were never caught.....It's enough to make any goat kick a little.
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