Let Them Eat Cake and Hot Dogs Too

The critics are after Presidential Obama again. No, no...not critics of his policies. These are doctors who want to be food critics because they have organized into a group they call 'The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine' to promote a politically correct "healthy diet" (it hurts to type that). The doctors plan to file a petition asking for "an executive order banning staged official photo opts that depict the president, the first family, the vice president, and members of the president's cabinet with unhealthy foods that include processed meats than can cause cancer and obesity."

Those crazy doctors want to eliminate my entire diet! It's hard to find much to like about Obama, so why do they want to stop him from doing one of the few things I support, eating hamburgers and hot dogs on camera? It's another example of an authority demonizing (no doubt for publicity purposes as much as intent to promote a healthy diet) a particular food or food group. They are shoving political correctness down our throats and that is the most unhealthy diet of all.

Don't those doctors understand that hamburgers and hot dogs and the rest of what they label as unhealthy are food for the soul, not the body. Humans need to to eat both the so called "healthy foods' and the fatty but good tasting ones too. One who feeds only his body and not the soul winds up like the skinny surely, self righteous vegans or vegetarians that always seem to need an enema to be pleasant.

Food choices are and should always be an individuals right and responsibility, not the province of self righteous food police organizations like those docs have formed. The docs want Obama to eat his hamburgers in private so as to not "set a bad example". Surely the doctors know that eating hot dogs and hamburgers don't kill. Eating too many of them do. I wonder what they expect Obama to eat publicly? Broccoli or salad? Who would vote for a person that eats that mush when at a sporting event or barbecue?

Those doctors should spend more time promoting and educating the public the foods they see as better choices (perhaps leaner hamburgers and less fatty hot dogs) rather than accusing Obama of setting bad food examples. It seems those docs also should spend more of their time seeing their patients than lobbying food police issues. Besides, during the past 3 years President Obama has found many other more dangerous ways, via his crazy policies, to destroy the United States than has he harmed it by eating hamburgers in public.

I think I'll have a juicy fat hamburger for lunch today. Yes, those docs inspired me to make that better food choice....soul food choice, that is.

Weird Guinness World Records

I probably need more hobbies to keep me busy because I wasted too much time looking up weird Guinness records. It started when I read a fellow in India has over 340 flag tattoos on his body to set the flag tattoo record. It didn't say why he did that, but he remarked that his wife and son are embarrassed to be seen with him. Hmmmm Maybe they are just not patriotic. The Indian guy is one of many Indians setting Guinness records. It seems it is a passion in that country these days.

This search for those famous Guinness world records brought for so many that I can't list them all for you. But here are a few of them that has me puzzled.

- Fastest 100-meter hurdles wearing swim fins, individual, female (A German woman ran the 100 in fins in 22.35 seconds proving that those Germans really are odd people)
- Most people dressed as Smurfs (1253 Irish smurfs did it. I am blue with envy!)
- Largest rubber band ball (An American rubber band excess...it's 4, 097 Kl. but there is no explanation as to why)
- Tightest frying pan roll (an American man hand rolled a 30 centimeter aluminum frying pan in 30 seconds, probably because he watches too many Superman movies where the hero beds steel))
- Largest collection of ‘Do Not Disturb’ hotel signs (A swiss woman "collected" 8,888 'Do Not Disturb 'signs from 189 countries. She probably doesn't want to be disturbed because police in each of those countries are looking for a sign thief)
- Most T-shirts worn at once (A Belgian guy has the record of 227. No truth to the rumor that he wears the without wearing any pants)
- Oldest table tennis player, female (An Aussie lady of 97 years of age has the record. Problem is it takes her 5 minutes to serve the ball)
- Most eggs crushed with head in one minute (An American crushed 80 eggs with his head in one minute. I refuse to tell you what he did with the bacon)
- Farthest squirting milk from eye (A Turkish man squirted milk from his eye a distance of 279.5 centimeters. He appears to suffer, not from a calcium deficiency, but rather from a calcium excess)
- Woman with the world's longest legs (A Russian woman has legs that are both sexy and measure 4 feet 4 inches, but she is still looking to date a Yao Ming sized man)
- The Most Nationalities in a Sauna (Multicultural Germans from 91 different countries got hot in a sauna there for the record)

So what's wrong with those people? Strange for me to question odd behavior, but it does come to mind. Why aren't they out there discovering a cure for cancer instead of getting intimate with Sauna exhibitionists from 91 countries. Oh, I think I just realized. It's more fun to be in a hot sauna with a hot babe from Denmark on one side and another luscious one from Japan on the other.

Being an exhibitionist can be fun. Guinness says it receives over 50,000 inquiries every year as to how to challenge a record. The Guinness web site even has an application form if you want to be the next extreme sauna bather or frying pan roller.

Fill out the application and present it to Guinness. They claim to notify you within 4 weeks if your specialty is acceptable. Uh.....I don't think they would approve of an entry that claims most times reading what I write and not suffering brain damage, is a category possibility.

Single Survey In America

There's a dating web site, the largest of them all I believe, called match.com.  People go their to find a love partner (ok, and some just to fins sex), but occasionally match.com asks them their opinions about romance. I read in my newspaper checked it on line the latest match.com survey called Singles in America.  It asked 5000 of the members to evaluate single lifestyles and opinions, questions as serious as, "How long does it take for you to recover from a broken romance" to ridiculous questions like, "Who has more orgasms, men or women?" But aside from that, the survey is supposed to be representative of what singles think about all matters of romance.

Here are some of the conclusions of the survey for you to refute, approve or ignore.
-Men fall in love just as often as women do and are more likely to experience love at first sight. By age 30, 58% of men who say they have been in love and believe in love at first sight have experienced it, compared to 51% of women.
-Men are more likely to show their love and affection in public. 41% of men would be very comfortable kissing in public, versus 31% of women.
-Men are more willing to make a commitment without being in love or feeling sexually attracted to their partner. Men are more likely than women to be willing to make a commitment to someone who has everything they are looking for in a partner, but whom they are not in love with (31% of men and 23% of women). And they're also willing to make a commitment to someone who has everything they are looking for in a partner, but don't find sexually attractive (26% of men and 22% of women).
-Men find loneliness just as stressful as women do, as 31% of men and 33% of women report that they find loneliness to be "very stressful" or "somewhat stressful." And men are more likely to report that loneliness is a challenging aspect of being single (27% of men and 22% of women).
-When it comes to cohabitation, men want to commit sooner than women. Contrary to popular belief, when dating a new partner, 46% of men and 26% of women would expect to move in together before they'd been dating someone for less than a year.

Hmmmmmmmm What about all the age old stereotypes of single women as desperate creatures stalking men in order to marry and settle down or the one that says men run from commitments or marriage and must be "caught' or will forever flee and reside in singledom? The survey answers all tended to refute those things, but the question that comes to mind is whether the 5000 respondents answered the way they thought they should or what they really believe.  The answers seemed to more reflect the opposite....that women are just as sexual as men, and men are just as romantic as women. Well, maybe those other men. Haha No need to worry that I will get romantic here.  But the real value of this survey is to remind is that people behave less according to sex role expectations and more as individual humans without regard to their sex.

It's your turn. What sex stereotypes do you find inaccurate? Which ones do you think are real?

Too Long Lasting

What's a lawyer to do when business isn't active? Perhaps,  file a frivolous lawsuit for a client.  So it's no surprise to read today that a California man named Henry Wolfe has sued BMW  and a motorcycle seat maker claiming that a four hour round trip ride on his 1993 BMW bike with a "ridge-like" seat gave him a "persistent, lasting erection" that's lasted 20 months and counting. Oh, my. He's claiming the motorcycle seat gave him a long lasting erection. Uh, what's the damage there? Haha  This is "hard" to believe.  Wolf says he was embarrassed to be frisky all a day long. He wants compensation from BMW and  the Seat maker, Corbin Inc.,  for lost wages, medical expenses, emotional distress and general damage because the erection problem still "comes up" from time to time. Hmmmmm BMW and Corbin hope they don't get a "stiff fine' for this.

I think his suit will fail amid quite a bit of penis jokes in the jury room, but one effect may be an increase in sales of those motorcycle seats. The seat maker should send send a thank you note to Mr. Wolfe and gear up increased production at the factory. And Corbin may have to make some modifications in its advertising and product use. I think the user manual should clearly state that women should NOT ride in front of male users of  a Corbin seat. And a warning or two like, "Caution: user may be embarrasses if in church, school or a grocery store after use" would help.

I suggest some new advertising slogans for Corbin. How about:
- "Our seats are as long lasting as your erection"
- " Our seat are low but but give a high rise"
- "The always more exciting ride!"
- "Who needs Viagra when he has Corbin"
- "You'll love our seats...literally"
- "Our seats are never heard, but you will be"
- "Corbin and love muscles...a lasting marriage"
- "Corbin seats: Favored by women everywhere"

Haha Be careful which bike seat you buy for your bike.

Speaking For The Dead

I read and article today that said if 19th century novelist Jane Austin ('Pride and Prejudice') were alive today she would approve of on line dating. And then the other day, President Obama said that if Lincoln were alive today he would hate the Republican Party (the one that he loved and embraced as a member). And then there are the people who always push their personal arguments with the statement that, "If Jesus were alive today he (or she) would..."


It's crazy on all three accounts, but this happens every day now. People speak for a dead person of prominence and claim to know what that beloved but deceased figure would think and want today. And the listeners out there agree with them. Might this be another example of why people today do not think for themselves, do not reason properly or are just plain too lazy to form logical arguments of their own. 
Uh, Jesus would want me to write that. Haha
 

Putting words in the mouths of those unable to speak for themselves is one of the lower levels of cognition. Politicians and public figures do it to back their own (often weak) arguments because transferring loyalty from a loved and respected person to the person who speaks for him or her works more often than not. As in the example I gave above of "Jesus would", who wants to argue with Jesus?


It's perfectly legitimate to quote another person in support of an argument, but to claim that the deceased "would believe" what you contend is the sloppiest of thinking. Translating what a person believed in a previous time to today's ethic is the ultimate in arrogance and incoherence. Of course, the audience which is predisposed to agree with the speaker will accept the rationale that the speaker knows what Jesus or whomever else he quotes to support his or her argument believes. 

That's why dictators use the tactic so often. It's not easy to refute what the dead allegedly believe.  Religions use the words of the dead and suppositions from them all the time. A core reason religion succeeds in keeping the flock believing is to impose the alleged words of the dead on the current flock of believers. 

The use of the Ten Commandments to promote current moral mores or folkways is a prime example. So my policy is to ignore those who quote people who didn't render an opinion and can't affirm or deny themselves from the statements attributed to them. 

Uh.... If you wish, you can quote me on that.

Organ Harvesting On Facebook

How big is Facebook? Some people would say "too big", given one can do just about everything there except go to the bathroom. I just found out that Face book has a new option that might explain why it's the biggest web site ever. They just added an option that lets people register as organ donors.

Yep! They are even harvesting organs at Face book. The option allows users to share their decision to be an organ donor on the web site. Hmmmm Does this mean that being an organ donor is a chick magnet? The things we men will do to catch the eye of a lady go to no end.

In the first few days the organ donor option was added more than 100, 000 people signed up. Most Americans (over 40% are already registered as organ donors) register to donate their organs when obtaining a driver's license, as they are asked if they wish to do so at that time. When registering at Face book a link is tied into it that also registers the fact that the person will give organs after death. So it makes the "you can have my liver" official.

I guess the old spam E mail that claimed organs were kidnapped in hotel bathrooms after the guest was drugged and surgically separated from his or her kidney is being replaced by a Face book harvest. But this organ donation app is a good one. In the United States there are more than 100,000 people are on organ waiting lists, essentially waiting for someone else to die under the special circumstances that allow organ transplants.

Unfortunately, less than 1% of potential organ donors meet those circumstances. Some times people are rejected when offering their favorite organ at the donation buffet. I have inside info about some and why they were turned down. Here are a few examples.

* Mariah Carey offered to donate her voice box but no one could stand the over emoting that Mariah calls "singing".
* President Obama tried to offer his heart but politicians don't have those
* Lindsay Lohan's liver isn't eligible because it is already preserved in alcohol
* Kim Kardashian's butt....too big for anyone
* Willie Nelson wanted to leave his kidney but the marijuana couldn't be flushed out
* I offered my brain and they just laughed

Well, at least I tried to donate!

The E Addicted Job Applicant

It's the time of the year when new college graduates dream of freedom from study and (if they can't get enough free stuff from the government) that awful four letter word that will curse them for the rest of their lives- work! Well, if a lazy man like me could graduate and spend a good portion of his life working, they can do it to. I feel no sympathy for them. However, I do have sympathy for the employers out there who have to hire this electronically addicted generation of graduates. Uh, I find it hard to believe college students today ever find enough time to get off their cell phones or face book pages and hunt for a job.

I was thinking...ok, that is never a good idea in my case. But while thinking I came up with the typical college grad job applicant profile. I mean the one who has spent four years playing with the endless time wasting technology with which he occupies himself rather than actually studying and learning a job related skill as a preparation for the future. I do like outrageously stupid profiling and this is what I came up with. Remember, I have moments of unreality sweep into small brain...Picture this applicant coming into your office for a job at your company as you interview him for the job position he knows just ought to be his.

E- (you, the employer interviewing him)- "Hi, Mr. Wilson. Congratulations on your recent graduation. Why should we hire you? How can you help our company sell more of our famous widgets?"

I- (recent grad interviewee)- " Ohm does this place make widgets? What's a widget? I've been on face book and twittering so much I missed that one."

E- "What?"

I- "Well, I could use social media to streamline company tasks in order to maximize profit."

E- "Don't you have the skills needed for the job we advertised."

I- "Define skills'?

E- "What"?

I " Well, I always have seen myself more as the idea man. You know, like Kim Kardashian or Snookie....those neat Reality TV stars who have such great ideas. I could be your next Snookie"?

E- "WHAT!!!! Uh, what about your phone skills?"

I- "Are you a dinosaur? Like phones are a dead technology in business. Why can't I E mail them instead. Have you considered blogging as a replacement for those land line phones I see?"

E- "This is a traditional company and we have traditional rules and regulations for our employees. Can you conform to that?"

I- "You people sure dress funny here. Look at those workers over there, in suits and ties. That is so 90's. I assume you have regular informal dress days where we can wear our pajama bottoms to the office. Hey! Where is the game room and where are the couches? At Intel they have them everywhere in the building. I can't work for a stuffy unconnected company"

E- "I see you have listed your list of collegian accomplishments. I see that you were voted best blogger on campus, that you were involved in co coordination numerous virtual green projects and that you acquired the complete mp3 collection of Gaga records without once paying for a download."

I- 'Yep! I bet nobody here can illegally download like me."

E- "Thank you for coming in for the interview, Mr. Wilson. We will contact you if we decide to hire you for the ;position."

I- "Forget it! This company is so stone age. Give the job to someone else. I kind of enjoy my life of sleeping until noon on my parents sofa and gaming on line all hours of the night. Who needs work!"